How Do You Know Reviews

This was rather a lazy production. Even with great cast this film just drifted away and turned incomprehensible, as if nothing ever really happened even though the film is over two hours long.

The screenplay for How Do You Know is abysmal.

I have never encountered a romantic comedy script where every scene contained an argument, and every single character said no, over and over again.

I got a screener of How Do You Know, the rom-com with Reese Witherspoon and Owen Wilson. I watched it, and nearly self-immolated with boredom. It was so excruciatingly unfunny, and so carelessly written, that with a price tag of $120 million, I decided to do a study of the film's dialogue.

Here's a list of VERBATIM quotes that I wrote down on second viewing. Prepare to be shocked.

"DON'T DO X" (Where one character tells the other not to do something and it shuts down the fun in the scene. Or where one character reveals that they themselves DIDN'T do something we want to see. (After the character reveals what hasn't been done, the scene comes to a screeching halt, as the actors, the director and the audience realize that nothing is happening. "Don't forget your pants!" I'd rather see Owen Wilson without his pants, thank you.

PS: If a line is listed more than once, that means that the careless screenwriter inadvertently left multiple instances of the "Don't" line in his script, spoken by different characters in different scenes! FUCKING A W F U L.

Do not beat yourself over the head.
Don't let what's going on with you be an excuse to give me a hard time.
Don't listen to me when I'm drinking Guinness.
Don't tell me anything.
Don't use that language in front of ...
Don't want you to think that I am.
Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.
Don't, don't tell me. I'm not going to take on anything I can't do.
Don't, that's the thing about a good idea you don't have to think about it.
I didn't want to...
I don't follow you. You know, first things first.
I don't have one.
We don't have time for that.
Why don't you shut up. Why do you look at me like I'm...
You don't drink at all?
You don't have to bring me food.
You don't have to take me, thank you though.
You don't make one important life decisions when you are mush.
You don't remember Wednesday night?
You don't want to eat anything?
Did you say something, I was distracted. No. I'm not hungry

The "I Don't Know" style of writing, where none of the characters knows anything, even though the audience has figured it out five minutes ago. In my book, a screenplay should have only one or two "I don't knows" saved for the soul searching in Act III.
I didn't know about the groceries.
I didn't know the cat was going to die.
I don't know if I have what it takes.
I don't know if the company will pay.
I don't know if what we have is anything breakable.
I don't know what to say and it makes me feel stupid.
I don't know what's gotten into me this morning.
I don't know. I'm not going to ask you where you are.
I don't think that's how I'm feeling.
I don't understand your failure to call back.
I don't understand.
I'm not sure how to further identify myself.
I'm not sure, I forget.
I'm not, I'm not saying she was with you. I'm not saying that.
It doesn't matter where I am.
She didn't know I was seeing someone.
She didn't know it had escalated a bit.
You aren't going to say anything? No.

TONS OF EXPOSITORY QUESTIONS (Who are you, where are we? Why are we doing this? I mean, really? These are all fucking exact quotes from this awful movie. Even the freaking movie title is a question! Ug!)

And is it possible for you not to control the outcome? No.
Any new thoughts? No, not yet. Not at this precise moment.
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
Are you sure? Well, no.
Are you there? Barely.
Can I call you later?
Did I interrupt you? No. You sure haven't let anything take
How are you doing?
How are you doing? How are you doing?
What am I doing?
What do you want us to do?
What you know about this? "Nothing."
What's going on? "Nothing."
Why are you here?

THE "JUST GO AWAY" COMEDY TRAP (This trap involves one character screaming at the other "Go Away" because the writer thinks anger is reallllly funny, and because the only way to advance the plot is by having a breakup.)

Either back the hell off or do what you've always done for me.
Get out of here.
Get out of here. I can't believe you're telling me all you just did.
Grow up. No.
I need you to go.
I think I should go.
I think you should get away from me. Cut me off.
And I have to get going.
If you're not back in an hour, forget it.
I'm leaving and I'm not going to do this again.
I'm sorry, I'm going to go. This is stupid.


JUST SAY NO (For novice screenwriters, saying no and disagreeing are realllly hilarious. Until the audience realizes that five minutes have passed and absolutely nothing has taken place but an argument that's hard on the ears.) This is an extraordinary amount of NO's in a single screenplay. No? :)

All in no, no, no, it's me being classy. No. No. No.
Changing the channel: no, no, no, no.
I'm not giving you a hard time, it's the same word for women.
I'm not good today.
I'm not looking for permission to drink.
I'm in awe of y---. N, no, no, no, you can't! Don't break up with me.
No hard feelings, I can't do this right now.
No, not answering the phone.
(There's) no trap.
No, cooking relaxes me.
No, I am not.
No, I have one, I'm just not proud of it.
No, I wasn't going to set the time
No, no one is, though.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, you know, I think you're saying exactly what you can...
No, you don't have to wear that dress home.
No.
No.
No. Don't do that.
Not a problem.
Not doing anything wrong is what's keeping it....
Not for me.
Not from my perspective.
Not today.
Not tonight.
Taxi? No.
(No.) I have a date.
And can you just give me a minute to form a thought?
And it's not like you're going to abuse the privilege.
And no, no, so he stopped when his anger went away.
And nobody is going to change his mind.
And none for me.
Can't handle it.
Could you not,... I have a boyfriend.
Did you ever want to delete every sentence you're saying? No.
Do not assume, do not trust anyone.
Do you know the picture? (Kramer vs. Kramer) No.
Do you want to come? No, no.
Don't feel funny talking to me.
Don't feel sad for me.
Don't go out of your way. No no no.
Don't miss the team bus.
Forget it. I said forget it.
Hold on a minute. No.
I am nothing like a wild man I used to be.

I CAN'T, I WON'T, I DON'T (Ugh, just say yes and get to the fun part. The arguing is just fucking excruciating to listen to.)
I can't take money from your father.
I can't tell you "what". Because of that thing at work.
I can't trust myself not to manipulate you. I don't know if...
I can't.
I didn't think it would ever touch you.
I don't want our relationship become...
I don't want to be in the way, that I feel like...
I don't want to eat right now.
I don't want to lie down. And I don't want to sit.
I don't want to mislead you.
I don't want you to ask me what's wrong.
I don't want you to feel sorry for me.
I don't, I got caught.


I'M SORRY, I NEVER (My God, look at the negative statements in this screenplay!)
I haven't had anything since lunch yesterday.
I haven't packed yet. My phone is dead.
I hope I haven't built this up too much.
I hope it's not too late to call. No.
I just didn't think it was right not to phone you.
I mean not this time...
I might have to go back on what I said about finally seeing...
I never lived with anyone before. I don't want to figure this..
I never talk about myself.
I shouldn't drink. No no no no, two nights in a row would be a...
I think I just made a very bad assumption that we've been on
I think they're pretending.
I thought it wasn't supposed to.
I wish there were some way I could tell you...
Ignore it.
I'll wait until you get here.
I'm gone. No. You have to respect me on this. No.
I'm not thinking about you.
I'm sorry I'm not even aware of myself.
I'm sorry, I'm going to go. This is stupid.
I'm sorry, this is private.
in I wanted to tell you not to worry.
Is that it?
It's best not to contact you until I'm clear on what to do.
It's hard not to yell.
It's just as well, it wasn't going to go well from there. (This is the worst line in the screenplay. Reese says this. Literally, "It's just as WELL, it wasn't going to go WELL from there." Really? Two "Wells"? FUCKING AWFUL.
It's too late for tonight. No, not at all.
I've got a problem with that attitude.
I've never felt that love.
Just not too strong.
Let me finish. No.
Listen, I can't see her right now.
Maybe it will help, maybe it won't, I'm trying. I'm sorry. No...
Maybe we shouldn't talk. I wish we could just watch some TV or...
My biggest fear is that you won't be yourselves around me.
Never drink to feel better.
Not when you say it like that.
Please don't hit me.
I'm a little too pissed off to say hello.
Sorry for interrupting your day.
Sorry sir, I wasn't able to contact him for you.
That didn't come out at all well.
That's why I didn't come forward.
The baby thing? Never.
The board is refusing to pay your legal bills.
The firm is refusing to pay my legal bills.
Then just tell me, I'd rather leave the rest of the night
They don't have to say.
They're directing people not to talk to me?
This is such a mistake.
This might not be the first the best first impression.
We are not well matched.
Yeah and you can't do this. You have a guest.
You a relative of Andy's? No.
You couldn't function if you knew the stuff I'm talking about.
You do not have the luxury of not hearing this. (Ugh!)
You ever wish you could delete everything you said as soon as you say it?
You never ask.
You wanted flowers? No.
Your spirit. No.
You're going to lose me.
You're leaving, which is also hard.
You're not asking...
Be quiet for the whole dinner. Completely quiet.
Cut it out, I don't understand what you're doing..
Cut it out. I have a boyfriend.
I think the answer to which are talking about is to stop

STOP IT! The worst screenwriting has "Stop it!" lines where characters douse the funny flames with water instead of gasoline.

Stop acting tough.
Stop asking me things like that it's weird.
Stop it. I know you don't. You can't cry.
Stop shouting. I don't hear you when you do that ever.
Stop stop, no. Sit down.
Stop, you could get into genuine trouble.

Yes, it's hard to believe that there are that many denials in a SINGLE SCREENPLAY spoken by MULTIPLE characters. "For your consideration. Best Screenplay."

Some characters say "I don't know" or "No" more than three times in the same scene! This is comedy death.

This script has trouble getting off the ground simply because every single character is denying the other what they want. As a result, nothing happens. Awful. A $120M awful.

Beautifully lit, however, and the score is amazing.

Has its moments of profound intellectual insight, but ultimately goes on too long, and sometimes feels aimless.

Not funny at all, but still a cute story.

This has some people I really like in it, but they just have nothing to work with. The characters don't feel at all like real people. There is no reason why Lisa and George should like each other based on their interactions, but yet you know they are going to end up together at the end. There is this bizarre subplot about George being in legal trouble that is never fully explained and just seems like an excuse to get Jack Nicholson some screen time. I felt bad for the actors in this movie, because the script is just so bad. The tone is weird too - I felt like this should have been played more for laughs, instead of trying to be a balance between comedy and drama. And what is Tony Shalhoub doing playing a shrink?

Even a great cast could not keep this film from being an absolute mess.
4/10

Alkuun vähän pitkäveteinen, mutta loppujen lopuksi ihan kiva hömppäleffa... ;)

Till now we have seen stories on true love, shifting from false love to true love, sudden realization of an association as true love, but this love story defies all the aforesaid settings! This one is about being in a casual but genuine relationship, keeping in hand an upcoming friendship and ultimately putting the 'true love' label on the budding friendship and leaving the casual but on the verge of turning steady relationship midway for no particular reason! The only plausible reason for the aforesaid choice seems to be the fact that the protagonist i.e. the heroine happens to be in the same mental state or life phase as the chosen hero during the decision making period. This made them totally understand the respective needs of each other to - stay quiet or constantly blabber or be indecisive or make a total mess of themselves.There is no bad guy in the movie. Neither any of the characters are looking for love or happen to believe in only serious relationships. Everyone here is well mannered and good at heart. They may be childish and/or eccentric at times, but they are genuine at heart. So, there is no moral as such in the story. It perhaps just depicts the ultra urban scenario where relationships don't commence with the hindsight of longevity, forget the sentiment of commitment! Partners are chosen at whim and left at whim without intending any actual harm and perhaps no major offence is taken since things start on a very casual note!Acting wise, Reese is very natural. This lady can put sense into all kinds of characters. Owen has great screen presence. Others are also up to the mark.

Another great Actors crew, specially with Jack Nicholson ....

How Do You Know was written and directed by James L. Brooks. There are moments where we are aware of that, but most of the time we forget.

cast, trailer is alright.

Although it falls far short of Brooks's best efforts, it is still largely charming in its own overactive, overstuffed way. Wilson and Rudd excel, Witherspoon less so. The film really finds it's footing in the second act after a shaky start, and once it gets there it's worth the time. Perhaps it tries too hard, but in a world where romantic comedies barely try at all, this is something worth seeing.

i was completely, totally, absolutely expecting to hate this movie- which might be why i didn't. but i did hate Reese Witherspoon's character, and the ending. and the length. i hate that some Rom-Coms think they deserve 2 hours of your life.

It's funny....good cast, silly storyline, but funny.

This is the definition of a Free Viewing movie, watchable but forgettable.

Remember As Good As It Gets? Yeah, that was an awesome film and I thought about it a lot while I watched this horrible excuse for a film. This film is pretty much the opposite of As Good As It Gets since unlike that film, this one is not witty, insightful, emotional, or enjoyable. This film is an absolute disaster that is unbearably long since it clocks in at two fucking hours in which nothing interesting happens during nearly the entire duration. This is undoubtedly one of the worst romantic comedies I've ever seen and it is also a shocking failure of a film since it has talented stars and a talented writer and director at the helm. I really, really hate this film.

Se por um lado encanta com um elenco formidável, por outro decepciona pelo roteiro fraco e recheado de clichês - principalmente por ser um filme do grande mestre James L. Brooks, o mesmo diretor e roteirista de ótimos filmes como Melhor é Impossível e Laços de Ternura.

Halfway through this miserable rom-com, one thinks to themselves: why is such a talented cast including Paul Rudd, Reese Witherspoon, Jack Nicholson and others wasting their time with this movie? Than to realize James L Brooks wrote and directed this film, one may feel baffled. This is probably his worst film. The plot is ridiculous. Witherspoon's character is trying to decide between a baseball player (Wilson) who loves casual sex with other women and a more straight laced guy (Rudd) being investigated for fraud because his own father set him up. When the screenplay goes to the lengths of a deal between Rudd and his father (Nicholson) that if he gets the girl, Rudd will not go to jail but Nicholson will...one realizes they are dealing with bottom rate stuff.

Good movie and also entartaining, has a very good cast, besides Reese, actress that anoys me a little, but she was all right in this movie. It's an ineresting rom-com and also very funny. Recommended.

I own this on DVD and Blu-Ray.