I'm Not Jesus Mommy Reviews

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November 2, 2012
The acting was pretty bad. The ruin the movie [SPOLERS] A crazy man tries to clone Jesus. This brings the end of the world. How is not quite clear. There are a lot of gaps in this movie, which would be ok but this movie just wasn't made very well.
June 16, 2014
I'm Not Jesus Mommy (Vaughn Juares, 2010)

For the first third or so of its length, save some subpar acting, I'm Not Jesus Mommy is an intriguing little low-budget movie that, on many levels, makes perfect sense. Kimberly Gabriel (Bridget McGrath in her first feature), an obstetrician, is haunted by her own inability to conceive. When maverick researcher Roger Gibson (Living Arrangements' Charles Hubbell) approaches her with a fat government contract and some snake oil about human cloning, she resists at first, but eventually sees the opportunity in light of her own ulterior motives. The obvious question becomes: how far will a woman go to have a baby?

Then we skip forward seven years, and everything goes to hell. Earth is locked in the middle of a new ice age. The streets are dangerous, there is little food to go around, and Roger, Roger's sister, Kimberly, and Kimberly's son David are holed up in a small apartment, only going out when absolutely necessary to procure food. The entire remainder of the film takes place in that apartment.

Sounds promising, no? And perhaps in the right hands, the final two-thirds of the movie could have been turned into the kind of tense sci-fi thriller that Vaughn Juares obviously intended this to be. But, and isn't there always a "but" after a statement like that?, it...isn't. I'm not entirely sure how to put this tactfully, so I'll go with "I'm not Jesus Mommy rivals The Room for moments of unintentional hilarity." One-room dramas live and die based on the quality of the actors involved, so the "some subpar acting" of the first third, which you can gloss over with everything else going on, takes center stage. Add in a script that leaves out just a little too much to be impressionist and never avoids cliché-in fact, runs headlong into it as often as possible-and you've got something that ends up being a chore to sit through. Don't hit play on this one unless you have prepared yourself for an overdose of cheese. *
March 14, 2013
what a load of balls. the storyline seemed good, but everything was just plain bad. music, acting, setting, script, progression. just ugh
February 7, 2013
This was the most rotten movie I have seen. Boring!
December 9, 2012
Horrible. I usually try to give every little indie film the benefit of the doubt as I know how much time and effort goes into just getting a film made; however, there is no excuse for this film. Obvious that the producer put herself into the lead role just because she could. The film was not believable at all from page one. Her relationship wasn't believable, the concept, the characters... nothing worked. The acting was dreadful and the story was all over the place. Just a bad film that I couldn't even stomach all the way to the end.
August 12, 2012
Well there was about a 0.0001% chance that I was going to become "saved" at some point in my life and this movie killed that for me. I have read other reviews that said this was a home-schooled Christian teen flick and they were absolutely right. The movie starts out relatively sanely -- desperate infertile fertility doctor (I kid you not) does some unscrupulous things with cloning..then we are miraculously catapulted or should I say "raptured" 7 years forward to the end times (I figured out it was the end times by doing a quick google search). One of the Christian protagonists offs someone because they refused to be saved...gee whiz...why not just let the End-Times do their thing? Really disappointing movie but I have to comment -- the ill-fated infertility doctor looks more Jewish than Christian and I sense this was a subtle attempt at sending some kind of message..which I find very reprehensible.
½ July 11, 2012
OMG this was such a waste of money! The story line was what drew me in and is the only saving grace of the film. The terrible acting and directing just ruins any hope of this being a good film.
½ June 18, 2012
this movie has no sense
½ June 18, 2012
The movie left me confused and dissapointed. Too bad. The initial idea had promise.
½ March 11, 2012
Ridiculous acting and storyline. I feel ripped off.
February 2, 2012
find this movie any where.. Really want to see!!
May 14, 2011
Intriguing concept, even if the science makes it a little hard to suspend disbelief (DNA from the Shroud of Turin wouldn't be usable). I liked the mother's passion to conceive and the apocalyptic result. Lots of layers leaving you to wonder at the end. That makes it fun. Some interesting contrasting scenes: the scientist listening to Ave Maria while he dissects a test tube fetus. Uncertain if the heroine is a the protagonist and if the scientists is really a bad guy and if the child is holy or evil. Never sure of anything, and I mean that in a good way. Keeps you thinking.
½ May 13, 2011
I'm not sure why they say this movie is a horror film. There wasn't a scary moment in it. It was slow, the main actress was terrible, and the story was confusing. What could have been a really interesting plot, (what if man could clone Jesus),didn't work at all here. Blah, don't waste your money.
½ May 10, 2011
I think this movie really reaches out to people who like to think. There are so many different ideas within that it takes a little bit to wrap your head around it all. It's exactly the kind of movie that would be better a second time. Though the budget was small, the producers CERTAINLY did very well with what they had. Some minor things here and there could improve, but I think it's the best it can be for what it is, and the resources it had.
May 8, 2011
Really cool concept, I loved the plot. I was thoroughly entertained and wonder what this film would be had it had a big budget. The acting was not great but it still worked and maybe even made the whole experience more entertaining as I had to laugh a few times. Kudos to the writers and director though, keep making movies!
May 8, 2011
Very thought provoking!
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