This is an awfully dumb movie that I'll still remember for a while.
| Original Score: C+
"Immortals" is indeed good-looking and is even entertaining for a few brief sequences, but that's not nearly enough to begin making up for its multiple flaws elsewhere.
| Original Score: 2/4
Looks aren't everything, but you'd never guess that by watching Immortals. With a solid cast and breathtaking fight scenes, you almost forget that there's not much of a story.
| Original Score: 5/10
A hyper-violent slab of enjoyably silly blockbuster schlock, but by no means essential viewing.
| Original Score: 2/5
On pause, I imagine Immortals would mesmerize and intrigue, but in motion, accompanied by a thunderous score, muddy 3D and bland theatrics, it fizzles out.
| Original Score: 2.5/5
Sing to me, O Muse, of gods and men, of timeless legends and forgettable retreads. Speak of "Immortals," and answer in all seriousness: did you even read that awful script?
| Original Score: 1/5
A hodge-podge of nonsense that is just really there to stitch together cool fight scenes and sets.
Underwritten, dramatically shallow and visually disappointing; unlike the myths on which it is based, Immortals will be quickly forgotten.
Grisly, gross, messy - and I'm not just talking about Mickey Rourke's table manners
| Original Score: 1.5/4
Singh approaches the material the way Werner Herzog might approach a film adaptation of "Gossip Girl": He doesn't get it, but that won't stop him from doing his thing.
| Original Score: 4/10
You can't take your eyes off it - it's like watching the butchest float on the Gay Pride parade crash in super slow-motion HD.
"The Immortals" is without doubt the best-looking awful movie you will ever see.
Half "300" and half "Clash of the Titans," although duller and sillier than both combined.
This monumental tale of warring gods and men is a beautiful, dead thing, bereft of organic or kinetic life.
Immortals doesn't lack a sense of wonder. You spend most of the film wondering why they bothered making it.
| Original Score: 1.5/5
The blood flows, the decapitated heads roll and the muscles glisten. Unfortunately, Tarsem doesn't seem as interested in the souls within those bodies.
Immortals lacks the inexorable forward momentum of its role model 300, as well as that movie's audacious, gleeful fascism and oblivious, accidental homoeroticism.
| Original Score: 6/10
Audiences with a bloodlust can feast on all the carnage, but those hungry for some real emotion will be left craving more.
| Original Score: C
Where are the gods of Olympus when you need them? I ask on behalf of "Immortals," because mere mortals were apparently not able to create a movie that actually made sense.
Immortals doesn't suffer because it's cheesy; it suffers because it thinks it isn't.