Don't Tase Me Bro
"Steven's just said that he's cracked the story."That's the one hopeful thing emerging from this...and a hella of a lot better than hearing "George's just said that he's cracked the story."I got hooked on the Fedora and Whip a long time ago...and whatever they put on the screen I'll end up seeing it. But Shia's like a turd this franchise won't flush...so love him or hate him, it sounds like he's not going anywhere.Too old?Too much Shia?Too much Lucas?Too implausible?Too much money to be made?Let the flame war commence...
Sep 15 - 03:54 AM
If Jesus himself produced the movie, made Harrison Ford younger, wrote a perfect script for Lucas and turned the clocks back to 1982, it still wouldn't satisfy the fanboys. The Indy and Star Wars movies were always meant for kids and for those who enjoy light popcorn movies meant for Saturday matinees; not for the fanboys and nerds who take every scene apart and live on every word in the movie as if their very lives depend on it. The way I see it, if you don't like the new Indy and Star Wars movies, don't look at them.
Sep 15 - 04:19 AM
Way to make excuses for filmmakers bastardizing their franchises all in the name of the mighty dollar. There is no excuse for how terrible Indy 4 was. I actually found the other Indy's much darker and more mature. Part 4 was totally ill-concieved, 90% of it was shot in a studio, and it just felt like they rushed it to meet their summer release date. Even if I was a kid I wouldn't tolerate this drivel.
Sep 15 - 04:59 AM
I have to say that I've always really liked Harrison Ford. For his candor, his demeanor, and the way he comes off 'real'. And for his acting too.. lol. even though he's a flaming liberal, most in hollywood are, so a flaw or two isn't bad.
No matter how the film turns out and no matter what it's about, I'll be in line. I'm almost sure that they'll take the lessons learned from the last film (cheesy set pieces, cheesy plot), throw a bit more seriousness into it, and make a better film.
Sep 15 - 04:27 AM
After seeing the abomination known as Indy 4, I'll take a pass. I can't believe anyone thought that film was good.
Sep 15 - 05:22 AM
I thought it was fun and goofy and A MILLION times better than Temple of Doom and that screeching blond.
Sep 15 - 06:13 AM
I did too [liked it]. A lot of people missed the point that much of cheesy look and feel was intentional. It was intended as homage to the sc-fi movies of the 50s, just like the original Raiders was homage to the serials of the 30s and 40s. Anyway, it was good fun. I look forward to the next installment.
Sep 15 - 07:49 AM
Harrison Ford is 67 freaking years old...it is time to retire Indiana Jones! As much as I love the first two films, the series stopped being fun around the time of the way overrated Last Crusade and when Spielberg decided to change the title of the first movie to Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, which just made no damn sense!
Lucas stopped being a serious writer long ago, and after all the complaints about his last storyline and the fact both Ford and Spielberg never wanted to deal with aliens in part IV, the man shouldn't be let near a keyboard, even if it's to type "Fade In".
Let Indy go, Harrison, Steve and especially you, George--and let us just retain our fond memories, while we try to scrub the visual of Indy being propelled safely out of the path of a nuclear blast in a refrigerator from our minds.
Sep 15 - 06:25 AM
GREAT NEWS, I really liked the fourth part, forgot the Tarzan Jr. and the fridge was ok. It was awesome to see Indy in cinema again.
Sep 15 - 07:39 AM
i'm sorry, what? meant for kids? so THATS why darth maul got sliced in half...oh and the part where fett gets his head cut off? that furry snow man that got his arm sliced off? phew, that happened on Teletubbies the other day too! woo wee, totally kid friendly...all the way dude. thats more Itchy and Scratchy than KID friendly. star wars and indy sucks because...uh, it sucks. i took a step back after seeing the first two recraps that lucas put out. watched em and thought "would this be good if THIS were the first movies". the answer? no. its bad filmmaking...bad acting...BAD CGI...bad bad bad.
Indy can be entertaining, it can STILL be a great series but not with George Lucas on the same planet as where they're shooting. there were too many "oh my god this sucks, wow...ooooh it's getting worse" moments in Indy. and considering i felt the same way after seeing Sith...its clear whatever Lucas now touches...will turn to amateurish garbage.
5 years before lucas gives up and tries to write episode 7 8 and 9, thats my prediction. then any love we had for star wars will be borderline hatred. hopefully by then though he'll be SUCH a poor filmmaker it'll be "haha, this is so bad...its good!" kind of entertainment. he's close...vedy vedy close
Sep 15 - 08:01 AM
Don't get me going on the wasteful death of Darth Maul. But I can hardly wait for Indiana Jones 5 : The Missing Bedpan at the Old Folks Home.
Sep 15 - 08:22 AM
He's 67 and has an 8 year old kid??Could you imagine having a dad cracking 70 when your in highschool?ps. could everyone stop using the words overrated and underrated?? Please??? Just because you don't like a popular and universally liked movie doesn't make it underrated.. get a clue
Sep 15 - 08:25 AM
Like I said, if you don't like the movies; stay home and avoid the stress; nothing could be simpler than that, And as for Gimy's nonsense about it not being for kids, read what Lucas said waaaaayyyyy back in 1977; long before you nerds and fanboys claimed it your own ... Okay Gimy, for older kids then; now take a deep breath, relax and get some fresh air.
Sep 15 - 08:31 AM
they need to have alot better writing and definately get rid of shia and maybe it would be worth seeing.
Sep 15 - 09:14 AM
A 67 year old shouldn't be made to wait very long for anything... just sayin'.Having grown up with the Indy movies, I found the last one silly but true to the franchise and a lot of fun. If you hated it, do your blood pressure a favor and skip the next one.
Sep 15 - 09:30 AM
If you didn't like the 4th one then you don't like Indy. It's just that simple. While it's not as good as the first three it has all the elements of the first three(if you can't get past the shreiking blonde to enjoy the best of the series then thats just your own problem), and it tries to expand the story with the edition of the Mut character. Spielberg knows what he's doing and he has put Shia in a number of the films he produces as well and most of them were huge hits so I don't know what the problem is. Kid can act Harrison is awesome as usuall and Spielberg is gonna direct. So shut up and enjoy or just shut up!
Sep 15 - 09:53 AM
Seriously?!?!?!"just shut up"...wow...high school debate, much? You sound like Brian in Family Guy when he finds out about his kid and becomes a super douche, "you just don't understand, Quagmire...you don't have kids," really equates with, "if you didn't like the 4th you don't like Indy."Newsflash, Kanyae. I love Indy. And I am allowed to be disappointed with the fake *** CGI bug, Shia monkey swingin', sometimes its magnetic - sometimes its not and, oh yeah, it can read your mind "crystal skull" crapfest that was #4.
Sep 15 - 11:13 AM
Haha, Drew you sound like an Aspergers-ridden social retard to juxtapose an argument into the context of Family Guy.Quick let's all make HARRISON FORD IS OLD INDIANA JONES AND THE CRYSTAL WALKER LOL jokes cause they were super funny last time
Sep 15 - 12:16 PM
Hey rebranded...so glad you learned some new words your way home on the short bus today. Remember you're special, ever so smart, and people like you, they really do. (There's an SNL reference for ya since you don't like FG.) Never made a mention of the age factor...just the suck factor.Far as I'm concerned, Harrison can go on making them as long as he can walk.
Sep 15 - 03:57 PM
Never said the film was perfect, but it was still classic Indy and thats what I ment. On the shut up part, it just annoys me that people can like the orginals and not see that Spielberg was trying to please the real fan.
Sep 16 - 12:43 PM
Ok, you can put the claws away now.
And no, I'm not over the screechy blond from Temple of Doom. She ruined the movie for me.
And Shia = annoying.
Transformers - Shia - annoying.
Golden Eye - Shia - annoying.
Indy 5? Shia? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Sep 15 - 12:03 PM
I thoroughly enjoyed Indy 4, and laughed at all those stating how "outrageous" it was. Apparently people don't remember the plots of the first 3 movies.Looking forward to a 5th, but like all movie series, I think they need to end it somewhere...
Sep 15 - 11:30 AM
I enjoyed Indy 4, but mostly for nostalgic purposes. The plot was pretty so-so, and the CG parts were mind-numbingly stupid, but it was okay for a one-time viewing. I don't know about a fifth one though. I like Temple of Doom in a lot of ways, but yes, Capshaw is annoying as hell.
Sep 15 - 11:51 AM
Just because Indy4 was inspired by those old serials in the 30s and 40s doesn't give it a liscence to suck. My Indy4 WTF? moments:
-Nuke the fridge?
-Riding across the desert on a rocket?
-Clearing out the forest w/ that made up machine?
-Shia ledouche jumping in that tree full of monkeys?
-Landing the jeep on the tree in looney tunes fashion?
-Cate Blanchets terrible russian accent?
-Random man eating ants pop out of the ground?
-Anything involving aliens?
*Ray Winstone, John Hurt, and Jim Broadbant were criminally wasted, why even cast them in this movie if you aren't going to use them
*You can tell, even in the jungle scenes, they are using a studio, 80% of the movie was shot on a back lot and it feels like it
*Indy and Mutt have no chemistry, as a matter of fact, none of the characters had chemistry, they really didn't do justice to the whole family sub-plot, for being such a significant development to the story
*Indy never really gets to be an archeologist, only in a few breif scenes does he actually display any intillect, we get one scene where he links aliens to the mayan culture, Indy movies need to be rooted in history, not just casually reference history when its convenient to the plot
*There is literally no setup to the movie. Indy is already captured by the Russians when it starts, then we are told he is a CIA agent who fought in WW2(another WTF moment). Why not just have Winstone play the CIA agent, w/ Indy being his contact or something? Now we are supposed to believe Indy is an archeologist/college professor/CIA agent?
When it boils down to it, only 2 scenes really worked for me - the bike chase at the beginning and the sword fight between the two jeeps at the end. Those are the only parts that lived up to the iconic Indiana Jones series.
This movie was the most light hearted and cookie cutter out of them all - even temple of doom had its moments of darkness(child torture, indy becoming evil). This movie was just pure camp, turning Indy into a parody of himself, and lining the theatre floors with my vomit.
Sep 15 - 11:57 AM
I guess it's been so long people don't realise how utterly ridiculous the first three were. Not that that's a criticism, they're the best kind of popcorn movie, but for just a moment let's sink to that pathetic nit-picking fanboy level and pick out some preposterous moments in the original trilogy shall we?
- A truck full of dynamite that they loaded marion onto. How convinient to be blown up in the finale of the market scene.
- The pit of snakes. Even if they breeded just how in hell did they survive for thousands of years without any nourishment?
- Indy using his whip to be dragged along by the truck going about fifty miles an hour along a stoney desert road, he must have balls of steel because that ordeal would take half the skin off any normal person.
- Not to mention the chasm that appears all of a sudden (in a desert!) for a Nazi jeep to fly off
- The end scene. Vengeful ghosts, melting faces, Nazis being whirlwinded up into the sky by the wrath of God, gee this is so much more believable than extra-terrestrials isn't it?
-The conviniently placed bits of fabric which cushion Willie and Indy's fall after they jump out of the nightclub's window
- Jumping from a plane in an inflatable raft and not only surviving the impact after several hundreds of feet but also surviving a bobsleigh trhough a heavily forrested area before plummeting off another cliff into river rapids...phew.
- The bug meal
-A lava pit. In the middle of India. With no volcano nearby. And a swirling epicentre which is enough to set on fire anyone who comes within ten feet but not enough to affect the stablility of a temple bulit a few feet above.
- Ripping someone's heart out with your BARE HANDS
- The straw effigy of Indy being stabbed to cause him pain
- The never ending rock crusher conveyer which after looking an inch away from killing Indy it goes back a few meteres in the next shot
- A mine cart track more fun than anything at Alton Towers
- Magic rocks that after qouting some Indian lore burn through your havasack and return life to a nearby village
- Crocodiles in India. Oh wait sorry they're alligators? So what are they doing in a fresh water river?
- The magic box on the train. Just how did young Indy escape from that? Magic?
- Indy impersonating a Scottish Lord. And people complained about Crystal Skull having cheesy humour?
- The revolving fireplace in the Nazi Castle. Great for security...
- And the chair activating a secret passage, convinient.
- A rageddy-*** old plane surviving a dogfight with two German fighter planes before outrunning those same two planes in a car and one of them crashing through a tunnel for Indy and his Dad to glimpse at the doomed pilot before Indy's Dad defeating the other plane with an umbrella and some seagulls.
- A cup that grants eternal life. Enough said. Oh wait, it's also guarded by a knight centuries old that challenges Indy to single combat before falling backwards like an old fart.
- The invisible bridge and decapitating mechanism - two technological feats way beyond anything that could have been built in medieval times.
- A temple magically collapsing because you brought a cup out of its midst.
There are more. But I can't go on because I love the Indiana Jones series and yes I'll admit the 4th one could have doen with a little more plot, but to slag it off for the same reason everyone enjoyed these films in the first place? Not on.
Sep 15 - 02:05 PM
"Not to mention the chasm that appears all of a sudden (in a desert!) for a Nazi jeep to fly off"
Because its a widely known fact that its impossible for deserts to also be mountainous. . . . . . . Grand Canyon.
Sep 15 - 04:16 PM
Sep 15 - 05:06 PM
finally a voice worth listening to. real Indy fans know.
Sep 18 - 11:15 PM
If I were Harrison Ford, I'd only demand this:
OK, we start filming, and we kill Glen Beck in a horribly slow and painful way.
. . . then what?
Nothing. Just, we kill him. Kill him real good. After that I'm up for anything. The good will alone will be worth $300 million.
Sep 15 - 12:01 PM
Tom...WTF does Glenn Beck have to do with INDY, movies, anything in this thread?
Seriously...STFU and quit trying to derail a discussion ABOUT films!
Take your Beck-Fatwa-induced-fantasied-a$$ and grow up!
Sep 15 - 12:53 PM
oh yeah, and another WTF moment - This movie is easily one of Spielberg's worst, WTF Spielberg
Yo, I'm gonna let you finish, but I just gotta say, Indies 1-3 were so much better
Sep 15 - 12:04 PM
Hey, wait a minute. Didn't I hear somewhere that Indiana Jones is going to need a walker in this movie?
Sep 15 - 12:14 PM
Please learn from the last one .......no martians in Indiana Jones!
I suggest a Title: "Granpa jones and the lost cane"
Sep 15 - 12:28 PM
Memorable Movie Journalists
New sci-fi by Christopher Nolan
Anchorman 2 is Certified Fresh
The 25 best-reviewed ever!