What have they done to Indy???? someone tell me...tell me what I saw was a dream and there's a good Indy film out there, please :(Where to start, oh my god!, its a flippin mess, utter shambles, the worst film Ive seen for ages. Jesus christ, from the very start I got shivers of an impending pile of poo, this can't be
happening. The start is just a mess from the get go, bad green/blue screen shots against the actors, a really corny baddie in Blanchet and the absolutely terrible 'Indy survives a nuclear blast' idea is laughable just laughable.From there its not too bad, the university scenes, the plot ideas, meeting 'Mutt', the punch up and following bike chase is nice, just about right for an Indy adventure. BUT THEN WHOA!! all of a sudden we're in Peru, Mutt hasn't even changed his clothes and we're searching graveyards where strange people seem to live and try to kill you!!! eh??Then they've found the crystal skull and we're off again into the jungle, the plot lost in the dribble being spewed along the way. It just gets worse, for no reason 'Marian' appears, terrible acting all the way and the obvious plot line that Mutt is Indy's son, no really, didn't see that coming.From then on its just awful, plain embarassing, the jungle chase in the vehicles is dreadful, again bad green/blue screens, no one can hit the goodies with machine guns when they are right along side the other truck hahaha the Tarzan sequence with Mutt is THE WORST THING IVE SEEN FOR ALONG TIME, unbelieveable, then there's the stupid monkey attack AND then there's the elastic band tree! what the hell is that about!??? are we watching a cartoon?Then after all this nonsense we have killer ants that carry people into their nests and all the goodies some how surviving three HUGE waterfall drops. By this time I was practically laughing my ass off and cringing with embarassment.There's a touch of normality as the group discover a ruin and proceed inside, looks nice, looks 'Indyish', oh before that you do have another ridiculous attack from an unknown tribe of people for no reason whatsoever, but luckily the crystal skull scares them off so we're back on track.Once inside the temple ruins there's lots of treasures and ancient texts to read etc...before the conclusion of the film that (as you are aware from awhile back in the film) its all about aliens for gods sake, aliens with crystal skeletons.You can guess what happens a mile off, just a copy of the original 'Raiders' ending really, but less gruesome of course. There's a another absolutely ridiculous plot twist in the final sequence, won't spoil it but its just a big joke really, didn't know I was watching the 'X-Files'.I also forgot the brilliant, using a huge python as a rope to get out of some quicksand or a bog...whatever.This is the worst film I have seen in awhile, terrible, I just can't describe how bad it was and how disappointed I was, they have disgraced the Indy series with this, I just cant believe it!! I really can't, the film is an absolute joke from start to finish. Anyone who says this is better than the original film or even 'Doom' or 'Crusade' is fudging of their trolley. Lucas is a bad word for me now, after this and the 'Star Wars' prequels (which were miles better than this crap). What the hell has gone wrong here? huge disappointment to the Indy franchise.
May 27, 2008
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