Dear David Lynch:
I'm writing to let you know that I get it. I got it after Lost Highway, and you made Mullholland Drive just in case I didn't get it, but I assure you I did.
I get that truth is not immutable. I get that you're a post-modernist. I get you blur the line between imagination and reality. More to the point, I get that you see little difference between imagination and reality - that the lives we lead are as much in our heads as they are in objective reality, which you don't believe in. I get that epistemological explorations are interesting to you. I even get that female sexuality is a mystery to you, and even though this may be true for most men, you deserve credit for presenting it so starkly in your films.
You see that everything you're doing in your films finds an understanding audience. But when I watch Inland Empire, the only new thing I see is a statement that our lives are over-determined by media. It seems like all you're doing is re-hashing old post-modern theory ... or simply fucking with us.
Either way, I think you should move on. A filmmaker of your talents can show us what's post post-modernism. What comes next? Instead you're simply trying to tell us again that the traditional narrative is flawed, and it all makes me wonder if film is the best medium for your ideas. Why not write an essay? I think your ideas would be clearer and find a more receptive purchase, and I wouldn't feel like my brain had just been fucked into cookie batter, as it did after Inland Empire.
Don't get me wrong: I liked it, but I couldn't help feeling that at this point your post-modernist views were more effective when they were more subtle, as in Twin Peaks and Wild at Heart. At this point, I'm thinking you made The Straight Story just to prove that you were sane. At this point, you really need to stop jacking off to a picture of Jacques Derrida.
Please, Mr. Lynch, return to subtle post-modernism and don't beat us over the head with the mutability of truth. If you're really searching for something to do, I'd love to know what happens in Twin Peaks after Agent Cooper turns evil. Does he kill Audrey? Please let him kill Audrey. It would make a great movie, and it would give Kyle MacLaughlin a reason to fix his hair.
I don't normally make threats, but I feel I must in this case: if you don't stop it, I don't care if you do get Patricia Arquette to take her clothes off again (thank you, by the way), I will one-star the shit out of your next movie.
Your faithful fan,