The Item (1999)
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Critic Reviews for The Item
Described by helmer Dan Clark as a modern-art-exploitation flick, his feature debut is more exploitation than art and more a midnight flick than a legit entry in a dramatic competition of a strong and prestigious festival like Sundance
Audience Reviews for The Item
Not a great film but a thoroughly entertaining and always surprising one, The Item is a quirky, low-budget horror film in which a bizarre creature controls the thoughts and actions of those around it ways that funny, brutal, and gory. If you are looking for weird, then The Item has everything you might desire.
One of the strangest "horror" films I've ever seen. Incredibly cheesy and low budget (not in a good way), but it intrigues me at the same time. I have to give it props for its originality and goriness.
RT's description of "The Item" leads one to believe that there is a sliver of a cheesy good B-movie hidden within this film; that would be a lie.
The Item in question, is a package that four friends must babysit for 24 hours. The Item is locked in a large metal case and the four have been instructed NOT to open it; they do. After doing this, they unleash a demonic creature with a thirst for blood and they will need to work together in order to survive. Can the friends stave off execution at the hands of this vicious beast? Or will they fall to the hellish abomination?
To be honest, the above paragraph is a big fat lie. "The Item" is actually a slug-like creature with a penis for a tail. The slug kills people by talking to them softly and telling them that they have no friends. Each person, distraught by what they have been told, commits suicide.
At the end, the slug creature has sex with the surviving female.
A Z-grade, low budget exploitation movie that is painfully boring, and poorly acted.
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