Jack and Jill Quotes

The top Jack and Jill quotes selected by the Rotten Tomatoes community. Login to submit a quote!

    1. Jill Sadelstein: [to Otto] You don't look homeless to me, you're fat! You're Al Quida!
    – Submitted by Jed G (21 months ago)
    1. Jill Sadelstein: Mom always said it's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.
    – Submitted by Mary M (2 years ago)
    1. Jill Sadelstein: WHERE WERE YOU?
    – Submitted by Mary M (2 years ago)
    1. Jill Sadelstein: Are you going bald?
    2. Jack Sadelstein: Huh?
    3. Jill Sadelstein: No, no, no, no, you're getting fatter, and your hair doesn't realize it needs to cover more face.
    4. Jack Sadelstein: Okay.
    – Submitted by Jed G (2 years ago)
    1. Jack Sadelstein: [Jill is in the bathroom] Hey Jill, can I talk to you for a second?
    2. Jill Sadelstein: No! My bags are packed and there's nothing left to... [farts] say! [farts again] I spent the day at Felipe's picnic where I finally felt welcome. [farts again] By everybody! I tried to serve food for the very first time! [farts again]
    3. Jack Sadelstein: I'm guessing Mexican?
    4. Jill Sadelstein: Yes, Mexican, Mr. Food Detector! [farts again] At Felipe's! [farts again, very loudly]
    5. Jack Sadelstein: What, is Evel Knievel doing wheelies in there?
    – Submitted by Jed G (2 years ago)
    1. Jill Sadelstein: [whispering] He's homeless, right? He seems clean, but you should put one of those toilet seat protectors underneath him to make sure he doesn't ruin the chair.
    2. Jack Sadelstein: Are you whispering with a bullhorn or something? Everybody hears you.
    3. Jill Sadelstein: No, they can't, Mr. Hearing Expert.
    – Submitted by Mikhael M (2 years ago)
    1. Himself: Your sister an I grew up on the same street. When I look at her, I see me.
    2. Jack Sadelstein: When I look at her I see me too.
    – Submitted by Jed G (2 years ago)
    1. Jill Sadelstein: I crave this family time!
    – Submitted by Jed G (2 years ago)
    1. Jill Sadelstein: Maybe I should stay through Hanukah.
    – Submitted by Jed G (2 years ago)
    1. Felipe: Oh yes. We play games,we eat, and we steal whites peoples wallets.
    2. Jill Sadelstein: What!?
    3. Felipe: I'm kidding! We don't eat.
    – Submitted by John C (2 years ago)
    1. Himself: This must never be seen by anyone!
    – Submitted by Alexandar T (2 years ago)
    1. Todd: She converted right. That's so cool, she doesn't look Jewish at all.
    2. Jill Sadelstein: Maybe God wouldn't have gave you a rat face if you believed in him.
    3. Otto: Star Wars.
    – Submitted by Amir V (2 years ago)
    1. Jack Sadelstein: Are you whispering with a bullhorn or something?
    – Submitted by Amir V (2 years ago)
    1. Jack Sadelstein: Tomorrows he's going to go back home...less.
    – Submitted by Amir V (2 years ago)
    1. Jack Sadelstein: My balls are itchey!
    – Submitted by Jack F (2 years ago)
    1. Jack Sadelstein: You're looking a little like Bin Laden there.
    – Submitted by Austin G (2 years ago)
    1. Felipe: Oh yes. We play games, we eat, we steal white people's money.
    2. Jill Sadelstein: What?
    3. Felipe: I'm kidding. We don't eat.
    – Submitted by Austin G (2 years ago)
    1. Jill Sadelstein: Maybe I should stay through Hanukkah.
    – Submitted by Austin G (2 years ago)
    1. Jack Sadelstein: This is the guy who's gonna do a Dunken Doughnuts commercial.
    – Submitted by Austin G (2 years ago)
    1. Jill Sadelstein: I need to drop little chocolate bombs.
    – Submitted by Austin G (2 years ago)
    1. Jill Sadelstein: What..what is this Internet thing!? [Jill whining] You know I don't understand those things! I DON'T EVEN OWN A CALCULATOR!
    – Submitted by Shayla M (2 years ago)
    1. Soccer Player #1: I told you she was a woman.
    – Submitted by Randy I (2 years ago)
    1. Felipe: Just kidding!
    – Submitted by Gil O (2 years ago)
    1. Jack Sadelstein: Actually I did feel something... Pride in my son.
    – Submitted by Jemalee T (2 years ago)
    1. Gary: Busted, disgusted, never to be trusted!
    – Submitted by Jordan S (2 years ago)
    1. Jack Sadelstein: God told me your feet were on my desk.
    – Submitted by Ceci G (2 years ago)
    1. Felipe: I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
    – Submitted by LILIA S (2 years ago)
    1. Jill Sadelstein: Aw will you stop already? You know all he wants to do is play twister with your sister.
    – Submitted by Chris P (2 years ago)
    1. Jack Sadelstein: Are you whispering with a bull horn or something? Everybody hears you!
    – Submitted by Chris P (2 years ago)

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