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News / Columns / Total Recall
Total Recall: Kickin' It With Jean-Claude Van Damme
We examine the Muscles from Brussels' best-reviewed films.
by Jeff Giles | November 05, 2008
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No, your eyes aren't deceiving you -- for this week's Total Recall, we're taking a look at the best-reviewed works of a career whose cumulative output has been the target of some of the most venomous critical derision in recent memory. That's right, gang: in honor of his new film, JCVD, we're dedicating this week to Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Like his fellow early 1990s action icon Steven Seagal, Van Damme has fallen on hard times, swapping out big box-office hits for low-budget direct-to-video affairs. But all that could turn around for Jean-Claude this week: His latest effort, the Mabrouk El Mechri-directed JCVD, places a slightly fictionalized version of its star in a meta-fueled blend of action, comedy, and drama -- and it's earning the best reviews of Van Damme's career by far. (Yes, that's right: it might even be Certified Fresh when it's all said and done.) So sit back and go along with us on a journey to a younger, more innocent time, when all it took to earn a pile of money at the box office was a blank stare, a chiseled bod, and some righteous butt-kicking moves!




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10. Street Fighter (1995)
Tomatometer: 15 percent

You would think that a wildly popular videogame about nothing but fighting would be the perfect inspiration for a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie -- especially given that one of the game's characters was inspired by the role Van Damme played in Bloodsport. Sadly, however, 1995's Street Fighter missed whatever opportunity it may have had to capture the quarter-gobbling magic of the arcade hit, and instead went down as a project frequently discussed among the worst films of all time. It didn't have to be this way -- although a fighting game probably isn't the best place to look for the building blocks of a successful screenplay, Street Fighter still could have been a passable 90-minute collection of fighting scenes, rather than the overstuffed mess that Variety's Emanuel Levy deemed "far less captivating than the videogame that inspired it." To be completely fair to the film, there is a certain undeniable pleasure in watching Raul Julia (in what was, unfortunately, his final film performance) ham it up as the megalomaniacal M. Bison -- and it was ultimately profitable. Perhaps more telling, though, is the fact that it was one of Van Damme's last high-profile theatrical releases.










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9. Universal Soldier (1992)
Tomatometer: 23 percent

In which our hero faces off against the erstwhile Ivan Drago in a story about cryogenically frozen Vietnam vets whose bodies are reanimated to take part in the top-secret Universal Soldier program. They aren't supposed to remember that they hated each other in their former lives, but -- uh-oh! -- the program's mad-scientist founder (played by an understandably melancholy Jerry Orbach) must not have carried a one somewhere, because the memories return, and stuff starts to go boom. As an early Roland Emmerich project, Universal Soldier is sort of fascinating -- it proves that even with a budget in the $20 million range, Emmerich would find a way to make almost everything explode eventually -- and in the context of the times, it offers an example of what the action-movie team-up craze that started in the 1980s ended up looking like as ideas started to run out. Despite largely negative-to-lukewarm reviews -- typified by the Washington Post's Richard Harrington, who waved it off as "enjoyable in a mindless way" -- Soldier raked in over $100 million worldwide; Van Damme reprised his role in 1999's Dolph Lundgren-less (and far less successful) Universal Soldier: The Return.


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Comments (1-20 of 26 posts) | Reply
jokerboy1991
jokerboy1991 writes:
on Nov 05 2008 04:09 PM

Mhhm so many funny bad movies, which one to chose as my fav of his? I say Time Cop! Also I hear his new flick is actually good!

(Reply to this)
kissman24
kissman24 writes:
on Nov 05 2008 05:03 PM

"Timecop" is easily JCVD's best achievement up until this year. It doesn't feel as ridiculous as the others. "Timecop" feels more like an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie to me because of the quality special effects, well-developed story and above-average acting -- at least for a JCVD film.

My other favorite from JCVD is "Universal Soldier". The acting is bad, but the story is actually pretty good. And to see a showdown between Ivan Drago and JCVD is worth every penny!

I think JCVD could have had a more successful career if he had aspired to try things outside of the action scope. He had a lot more personality that his rival Steven Seagal and probably could have succeeded in more diverse roles. Unfortunately, his ego was just as big as Seagal's and needed every movie to be a JCVD vehicle.

I really look forward to seeing "JCVD" and I hope that it gives JCVD a new lease on life on the big screen. And if he does, I hope he makes better decisions this time around.


(Reply to this)
Mr.Hand
Mr.Hand writes:
on Nov 05 2008 06:08 PM

When I was a kid I loved Van Damme's movies, I now realize how bad they are yet nostalgia still allows me to look on some of them fondly. That and I still think Hard Target is the best of Woo's US films. With this in mind I am ecstatic to see some critical success for him and eagerly await my chance to see JCVD.

(Reply to this)
xenogears
xenogears writes:
on Nov 05 2008 06:26 PM

I'm sorry but as a martial artist raised on these movies Bloodsport and Kickboxer are argueably his best works (until now, maybe?). Both had excellent martial arts action and stories that worked well. Hard Target was good, don't get me wrong, but lacked the epic fights with monsterous, almost superhuman, moves.

Again I say the need for these critics to form a different criteria for action films is great. Great martial arts, sword and gunplay action films (not the Action-lite films such as gladiator and Troy, etc.) don't require plot and character build up. Just a bada$$ and a bunch of people being hurt in new and inventive ways. (The Protecter, Ong-Bak etc.)

I'm extremely excited about his new one (words I thought I would never say about JCVD).


(Reply to this)
xenogears
xenogears writes:
on Nov 05 2008 06:33 PM

I'm sorry but as a martial artist raised on these movies Bloodsport and Kickboxer are argueably his best works (until now, maybe?). Both had excellent martial arts action and stories that worked well. Hard Target was good, don't get me wrong, but lacked the epic fights with monsterous, almost superhuman, moves.

Again I say the need for these critics to form a different criteria for action films is great. Great martial arts, sword and gunplay action films (not the Action-lite films such as gladiator and Troy, etc.) don't require plot and character build up. Just a bada$$ and a bunch of people being hurt in new and inventive ways. (The Protecter, Ong-Bak etc.)

I'm extremely excited about his new one (words I thought I would never say about JCVD).


(Reply to this)
KingSigy
KingSigy writes:
on Nov 05 2008 06:53 PM

I'm going with Bloodsport for my JVD movie of choice. It has Bolo Yeung, which is just awesome.

(Reply to this)
new12play
new12play writes:
on Nov 05 2008 07:26 PM

No Retreat, No Surrender...all i'm gonna say.

(Reply to this)
ledawg1138
ledawg1138 writes:
on Nov 05 2008 08:06 PM

Jean-Claude Van Damme it! Okay, that was lame, but this guy has no best. He has least worst.

(Reply to this)
ironmanstarks
ironmanstarks writes:
on Nov 05 2008 08:22 PM

I love Van Damme. His best are Kickboxer, Double Impact, Hard Target, Wake of Death, Time Cop, and hopefully JCVD. I haven't been so excited about a movie in a long *** time. The man Van Damme is actually getting critical praise.

(Reply to this)
ledawg1138
ledawg1138 writes:
on Nov 05 2008 08:55 PM

?

(Reply to this)
rambowl
rambowl writes:
on Nov 05 2008 09:24 PM

Lionheart was definitely one of Van Dammes movies as well.. At least one of my favorites. Looking forward to watching JCVD!

(Reply to this)
Hamboner
Hamboner writes:
on Nov 05 2008 09:50 PM

Every time I dance with two women or more at a bar, I try to dance like Van Damme does in the final clip. No one ever gets the reference, but somehow it is sufficiently goofy enough to work.

He taught me everything I know in terms of game.... I think I am destined to be alone.


(Reply to this)
manugon
manugon writes:
on Nov 06 2008 03:42 AM

Yeah, where's Lionheart?

(Reply to this)
Well Dressed Killer
Well Dressed Killer writes:
on Nov 06 2008 03:51 AM

Im supriced Sudden Death was nr. 1. I really tought it was gonna be Timecop. Anyway, my favorite is Bloodsport. He did the splitts 7-8 times in that one.

(Reply to this)
67299709
67299709 writes:
on Nov 06 2008 04:40 AM

why has this guy not won a oscar yet? jcvd best movie has to be knockoff

(Reply to this)
kenny356
kenny356 writes:
on Nov 06 2008 05:01 AM

How is it that Kickboxer and Double Impact don't make the list?

(Reply to this)
dlo2012
dlo2012 writes:
on Nov 06 2008 06:57 AM

I really don't even consider this guy an actor
He is basically just a younger steven seagal


(Reply to this)
Well Dressed Killer
Well Dressed Killer writes:
on Nov 06 2008 07:33 AM

Kickboxer, Lionheart, Double Impact and In Hell should be on the list.

(Reply to this)
He's a Cockapoopoo
He's a Cockapoopoo writes:
on Nov 06 2008 09:06 AM

I don't understand why Lionheart and Kickboxer aren't on here. Arguably two of the best movies ever made, and probably of Van damme's top five best.

(Reply to this)
RedTuna
RedTuna writes:
on Nov 06 2008 11:14 AM

"And with my huge legs, and karate, I can do the splits nooooooo problem!"

Where the hell is Double Impact!!!???

Kudos to "new12play" for mentioning No Retreat, No Surrender....that move JDVD has when he tangles the people up in the ropes and destroys them is fantastic!

I think the biggest guilty pleasure for me is Double Team....Dennis Rodman and Mickey Rourke raised the absurdness to a whole other level in the JCVD universe.


(Reply to this)
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