Jersey Shore Shark Attack Reviews
Jersey Shore is one of the stupidest TV show ideas I have ever heard of, and for Syfy to be taking on the TV show for their own purposes of parodying it is actually an interesting idea. The story of the film combines the TV show Jersey Shore with the real life Jersey Shore Shark Attacks of 1916 and puts it into a single ridiculous narrative concept.
The reason that Jersey Shore Shark Attack is a perfect concept for Syfy is because of the fact that the characters on the show Jersey Shore are so artificial and ridiculously stereotypical that it is clear they are played by bad actors. But with Jersey Shore Shark Attack, bad actors are precisely what is necessary for the film to hit the genre head on. And they manage to completely nail the characters because Jersey Shore Shark Attack transcends many of the other films of the genre. It does this by having characters that are so stupid that they are hilarious, and this transcends the many other films of the genre which have minimal monster footage and just a lot of terrible acting which actually has a purpose. In contrast to Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, Jersey Shore Shark Attack's excess of terrible acting and a weak script is intentionally a parody of the stupidity that is the show Jersey Shore, and in that sense it actually executes that well by capturing the stereotypical natura of the characters and the idiotic language they speak in. As a legitimate parody of Jersey Shore, Jersey Shore Shark Attack captures the ridiculous over the top nature of the reality television series and puts it into a more ridiculous context so that its over the top nature really grasps what it is reaching for.
But even then, Jersey Shore Shark Attack could have used more shark killing. Its character focused scenes are superior to many others in films of the genre, but they are still boring and repetitive after a while. There gets to a point where Jersey Shore Shark Attack becomes as ridiculous as an episode of Jersey Shore, and it even becomes a little too stupid for its own good. Fans of Jersey Shore should hopefully appreciate the film for being the ridiculous parody that it is and for capturing the same kind of spirit and stupidity of the show Jersey Shore, but people who fail to sit through an entire episode of the show will be unable to handle a feature length movie parody of it which only parodies a few of its central elements against the backdrop of a shark attack story which doesn't have enough ridiculous deaths to actually justify its slow pace and 87 minute running time which feels a bit longer than it actually is. Jersey Shore Shark Attack feels a lot like an episode of Jersey Shore due to its ridiculous writing which parodies both the TV show and the movie Jaws, and it looks like one because of the production design, scenery and costumes all capture the visual elements spot on. But in terms of entertainment value, an 87 minute episode of Jersey Shore simply is not that entertaining even with a few of them being killed by sharks along the way.
Although Jersey Shore Shark Attack has something to legitimately parody during the scenes that don't have sharks attacking people, it is always important to remember that the most important aspect of a low budget shark attack film is the quantity of deaths and blood and gore as well as the images of poorly rendered CGI sharks killing characters played by terrible actors. And the simple fact that it doesn't have enough of them is the flaw in the film. It is rare that a low budget shark attack film is actually good, and Jersey Shore Shark Attack is another example of why, even though it is above average thanks to its ambitions to parody Jersey Shore. But it is too lazy. Its elements of parodying Jersey Shore are too focused on the only the appearance elements of them and eventually ends up being a film which takes itself way too seriously. It attempts to make the Jersey Shore parody figures come off as human beings who care about others, but in actual fact they are fake characters from a reality TV show which is clearly very artificial.
Frankly, despite its stupid gimmick being entertaining for a while, eventually Jersey Shore Shark Attack dissolves into the same territory as many of the other films of the genre and simply goes around in circles repetitively until the end of the film. It isn't exactly cringe worthy, it is just thoroughly boring and never transcends what its roots limit it to being. It is likely to appeal to fans of Jersey Shore who are ignorant enough to actually enjoy such dribble, particularly against the over the top ridiculous backdrop of a shark attack movie, but it simply does not do the job.
At least Jersey Shore Shark Attack is scripted well enough because it captures the ridiculous language of the Jersey Shore TV series, and it is acted to perfection because the inexperienced cast manages to mimic the nature of Jersey Shore characters spot on, particularly Melissa Molinaro whose characterisation of Nicolina "Nooki" Santamaria is a perfect parody of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi because she captures all of the little elements of the character very well and actually gives it a decent effort which is funny and dramatic when it needs to be.
But still, Jersey Shore Shark Attack's ambitions fail to be able to beat its stupidity which comes with the repetitive nature of the script, the lacklustre quantity of shark attack scenes and the consistently slow pace which fails to really justify anything, and so should appeal to fans of Jersey Shore and even the most slow and ridiculous shark attack films but not to the external market all that much.
Lousy special effects, lousy acting, lousy story and a main character that constantly walks around trying to look cool but it actually looks like he has crapped in his pants when he walks.