Critics Consensus: Rambo is No Rocky, Guess Meet the Spartans Tomatometer!

Also: Untraceable is viral, She has pretty good Moves.

This week at the movies, we've got vigilante justice (Rambo, starring Sylvester Stallone), internet intrigue (Untraceable, starring Diane Lane), deft dancing (How She Move, starring Rutina Wesley), and Spartan satires (Meet the Spartans, starring Diedrich Bader). What do the critics have to say?



Rambo is back.... but is he better than ever? The critics say he's about the same -- which is a good thing if you dug Rambo III, but not if you expected another First Blood (or Rocky Balboa, which resurrected another iconic Sylvester Stallone character -- and Sly's career in the process). Rambo finds our hero chillin' in Thailand, enjoying his peaceful existence -- until the disappearance of some aid workers draws him into conflict with the government of Myanmar. Pundits say Stallone (who also directs) stages some involving action sequences, but overall, Rambo is unevenly paced, way too violent, and strangely impersonal. At 25 percent on the Tomatometer, Rambo isn't cinema-goers' worst nightmare, nor is it a dream come true. In fact, it's the worst reviewed film in the series. (Check out our latest Total Recall, in which RT takes a closer look at the Rambo franchise.)


Rambo stealing a rebel's iPhone, much to his agony.

Ah, the Internet. It's a place for finding information, shopping for books, meeting a potential date.... and, if you're a serial killer, playing cat-and-mouse with the FBI. Such is the plot of Untraceable, starring Diane Lane as a cyber-agent tasked with tracking down a killer who slays with greater frequency when, after posting videos of his brutal deeds, his web traffic increases. Critics say Untraceable has its moments, but it lacks the will to make any points about our disconnected, voyeuristic society, and instead goes for cheap, grisly shocks. At 17 percent on the Tomatometer, Untraceable may be where you draw the line.


"What should I Netflix tonight? Boring ol' Zodiac or the Oscar-nominated Norbit?"

Oh, wow, another coming-of-age tale of a troubled girl who finds herself through the power of dance. Been there, done that, right? Not so fast. Critics say the low-budget How She Move is deeper and more energetic than others of its ilk. Move tells the story of a young woman grieving the death of her older sister who enters a step dancing competition to earn money for private school tuition -- and a way out of her grim surroundings. The story may be as old as the hills, but pundits say How She Move is elevated by a commanding debut performance by Rutina Wesley, as well as some excellent choreography and a sense of urgency. At 69 percent on the Tomatometer, this one has some pretty good Moves.


Why car ejector seats aren't standard.

It appears the critics will have to wait to Meet the Spartans, since it wasn't screened prior to release. Spartans crosses 300 with You Got Served, and also takes shots at Britney Spears. Hilarity (allegedly) ensues. Kids, it's time to stop dining in hell for a minute so you can guess that Tomatometer.


"And this is my guess for Meet the Spartans' Tomatometer."

Also opening this week in limited release:

 

Recent Sylvester Stallone Movies:
--------------------------------------------
75% -- Rocky Balboa (2006)
71% -- Shade (2004)
45% -- Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (2003)
13% -- Eye See You (2002)
13% -- Avenging Angelo (2002)

Comments

jokerboy1991

jack giroux

I cant lie I am probably gonna see Rambo, yes ittl probably be stupid, but I think ittl be fun to watch with some freinds. Meet the Spartans looks reall awful, I hated Date Movie and Epic Movie.

Jan 24 - 04:15 PM

jokerboy1991

jack giroux

I love that comment rent oscar nominated Norbit or boring Zodiac, how does Zodia get no nods which was a great movie, Norbit uhhhhhhhh. where is thou Eddie Murphys sense of humor?

Jan 24 - 04:18 PM

AudioNinja

TJ O'Neill

Meet the Spartans looks better than some of the other spoof movies of late (Epic Movie, anyone?). But as I've told my friends: If I see one movie this month, I see Cloverfield. If I see 2 movies this month, I see Cloverfield twice. If I see three movies this month, and the third time I'm drunk/high, than I probably see Meet the Spartans.; Or maybe I go see how Cloverfield is when I'm stoned. Tough call.

Tomatometer: 17%

Jan 24 - 04:26 PM

kenporules

Tim K

Meet the Spartans, if the trailer is any indication (I honestly can't picture a single person finding that funny): 0%

Jan 24 - 04:42 PM

daycare

chris mark

Looks like the only good movie coming out this week is how She move. I am going to see that. I will just watch the first 3 Rambo film. i sure they are a lot better then the 4 one.

Jan 24 - 04:51 PM

LiLHecLou

hector torres

5% the spartins get for movie those spoff movies are terrible

Jan 24 - 04:53 PM

SplendidIsolation

Rick King

Meet the Spartans-2%

Jan 24 - 05:20 PM

Mr. Bowler

Joseph Tomlinson

Meet The Spartans: 3%. RT sure has had a lot of these guessing games, but then again it is January.

Jan 24 - 05:24 PM

willvaughn70

William Vaughn

i honestly believe that the Meet the Spartans page will simply implode and become a black hole of suck that will eventually destroy rotten tomatoes and possibly the entire internet. At the very least it will definitely not turn Kevin Sorbo's career around but I am glad to see diedrich bader is still working. Good for him.

2% and that's being generous.

Jan 24 - 05:36 PM

gizmo12688

Serdar Sirin

I'll go out on a limb and say 10% for Spartans...

Jan 24 - 05:42 PM

m_ioannidis

Michael Ioannidis

Meet the Spartans 2%
some fool will give this crap a good review

Jan 24 - 05:49 PM

BrianInSD

Brian Gaul

I will say 6% for Spartans but only because 666 is the number of the beast and the makers of these movies have clearly sold their souls to Satan in order to keep getting audiences for them.

Jan 24 - 06:04 PM

rdproductions

Haddy Rikabi

Meet the Spartans: 0%

I'm still seeing Rambo because I've been wanting to see it.

Jan 24 - 06:10 PM

arendr

Arend Anton

Can I give Meet the Spartans a negative Tomatometer? Seriously, that movie looks like the worst movie of all time.

Jan 24 - 06:24 PM

~*Admiral Snowstorm*~

Dominique Amsterdam

Meet the Spartans: 1%. It seems like they get harsher with each passing installment from the two of the six writers of Scary Movie. Date Movie: 8%. Epic Movie: 2%. And this? Well, I won't lie, it looks better than Epic Movie, but that's not much of a compliment in the first place, is it?

Jan 24 - 06:24 PM

eltouche

jeremy anderson

Meet the Spartans - these movies are a low rent 'Mad' magazine on a movie screen... and are like crack for kids in a certain age range. Reviews are pointless. However, some "critics" never fail to surprise me so I'll guess 4% will actually be positive.

Rambo - I grew up with those, so I'll watch at some point... with a few beers, as a guilty pleasure.

Jan 24 - 06:39 PM

ChiWoWo

Brad Porter

Meet the Spartans: 0%

Jan 24 - 06:44 PM

KISSman

Tommy D

I'll still probably endure "Rambo" since I'm a Stallone fan.

As for "Meet the Spartans", my guess is -3%.

I wouldn't see "Meet the Spartans" if I had free passes.

Jan 24 - 06:51 PM

Eternity

Zach Heltzel

2%. One good review from Owen Gleibermann.

Jan 24 - 06:57 PM

Schumacherh8ter

Scott D'Agostino

"Meet The Spartans"--5555.5%. I HATE Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg. I had a dream last night where they were "traded" for Heath Ledger and Brad Renfro.

Jan 24 - 07:09 PM

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