I find him such a bland, pious, profoundly unthreatening little Furby of a pop idol, but little girls' celebrity crushes are not to be trifled with. And this sensationally engineered promo film makes Justin Bieber look like a true force of nature.
Part biopic, part concert film and all crowd pleaser, Justin Bieber: Never Say Never is a big, glossy celebration of the musical phenom that knows exactly what it needs to do to send its target audience of 'tween girls into a tizzy of giddy screams.
Young fans will lose their minds, although that would have happened if the film consisted of an hour and 45 minutes of Bieber brushing his teeth. Adult chaperones who care nothing of the star's music will find the film surprisingly tolerable.
Bieber seems consistently unfazed by all the cooks in the kitchen; it's as if he's holding something special back, to be unveiled at a later date. Hopefully, the machine won't grind this one down before his prime.