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King's Ransom Reviews

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Ken Hanke
Mountain Xpress (Asheville, NC)

Spurn King's Ransom as you would spurn a rabid weasel.

Full Review Source: Mountain Xpress (Asheville, NC) | Original Score: .5/5

April 27, 2005
Peter L'Official
Village Voice
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Little in this film suggests 'director' Jeff Byrd and writer Wayne Conley possess any facility -- or familiarity -- with irony or any other comedic device.

Full Review Source: Village Voice

April 26, 2005
Matt McKillop

Achieves a rare form of badness.

Full Review Source: MovieWeb | Original Score: 1/5

April 26, 2005
Justin Chang
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The scenarios are halfway convincing and at times even passably clever; they are never, however, especially funny.

Full Review Source: Variety

April 26, 2005
Gene Seymour
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With the humor in this lazy farce about as subtle as a shotgun blast to the face, it's possible to see the whole movie as an accident, the cumulative result of haphazard negligence.

Full Review Source: Newsday | Original Score: 1/4

April 26, 2005
Linda Cook
KWQC-TV (Iowa)

If you shelve out even $1 for this movie, you'll feel as though you've paid a "King's Ransom."

Full Review | Original Score: .5/4

April 26, 2005
Roger Moore
Orlando Sentinel
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Doesn't pay off.

Full Review Source: Orlando Sentinel | Original Score: 2/5

April 26, 2005
Kevin Crust
Los Angeles Times
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Somewhere in a pitch meeting someone must have piped up: 'I know. We'll have a guy named 'King' and he gets kidnapped, see? So there's a 'ransom'! King's Ransom, get it? After that, I've got nothing.'

Full Review Source: Los Angeles Times | Original Score: 1/5

April 26, 2005
Wesley Morris
Boston Globe
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Merely a collection of antics clothespinned to a plot.

Full Review Source: Boston Globe

April 26, 2005
Elizabeth Weitzman
New York Daily News
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After a while, all these odious, yammering people start to sound a lot like Charlie Brown's teacher. And they somehow all end up together at a time and a place you do not want to be.

Full Review Source: New York Daily News | Original Score: .5/4

April 26, 2005
Lou Lumenick
New York Post
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None of this is remotely funny, despite screenwriter Wayne Conley's resorting to virtually every known stereotype about African-Americans and more crass references to menstruation and prison sex than have ever appeared in a movie rated PG-13.

| Original Score: 0/4

April 26, 2005
Peter Hartlaub
San Francisco Chronicle
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The Chronicle's Little Man was fighting an internal struggle to abandon his chair altogether, but was ultimately swayed to continue his nap, mostly by a few of the comics in supporting roles.

Full Review Source: San Francisco Chronicle | Original Score: 0.5/4

April 26, 2005
Frank Scheck
Hollywood Reporter
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Devoid of anything resembling wit or even guiltily amusing tasteless gags, the film lurches from one haplessly staged sequence to another, with the performers vainly struggling to infuse humor into the proceedings.

April 26, 2005
Jonathan R. Perry
Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)

One of those barbarically unfunny romps that would be over in less than 10 minutes if just one character had an IQ higher than a cherry Pop-Tart.

| Original Score: .5/4

April 26, 2005
James Sanford
Kalamazoo Gazette

If Anderson can land the role of a corporate shark who's surrounded by hot babes, it's conceivable we could soon see Jennifer Lopez as the lead in 'Memoirs of a Geisha'...

Full Review Source: Kalamazoo Gazette

April 25, 2005
Stephen Holden
New York Times
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The desperately unfunny kidnapping farce King's Ransom is the cinematic equivalent of trampled chewing gum on a subway platform.

Full Review Source: New York Times | Original Score: 1/5

April 25, 2005
Frank Ochieng
Movie Eye

Byrd haphazardly assembles a bunch of overly exaggerated caricatures and parades them around in a dissolving farce that has all the wayward charm of a botched lobotomy

Full Review Source: Movie Eye | Original Score: 1.5/4

April 23, 2005

The film's tag line - 'Big Man. Big Plan. Big Mistake.' sums up the decision to make the movie... big mistake.

Full Review Source: | Original Score: 1.5/5

April 23, 2005
Dustin Putman

Unobtrusive and virtually painless as an occasionally witty laugher, but lacks the courage of its convictions to follow through with its less commercial ambitions.

Full Review Source: | Original Score: 2/4

April 23, 2005

E! Online

You'll feel like the one who's being held hostage.

Full Review Source: E! Online | Original Score: F

April 23, 2005
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