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Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park Reviews

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cancercapricorn2002
cancercapricorn2002

Super Reviewer

July 2, 2007
If there was ever a movie that defined guilty pleasure it would be this one. The plot here is a amusement park has invited KISS for a series of concerts. However, the mastermind behind creating the park is a loopy guy (Anthony Zerbe--who made a career out of playing evil and slimy villains) and he hates KISS--though you are never exactly sure why. But, because Zerbe does not control the park, he is forced to spend most of his time living underneath the park--perfecting his weird audio-animatronic creations (similar to Disney's but even more evil). But, when Zerbe is fired, he vows revenge and unleashes his army of robot zombies!! Egad! Can anyone help? Is there any hope? Well, sure...as it turns out that KISS is actually made up of superheroes who make the X-Men look like losers. The Star Child (Paul Stanley) can shoot lasers out of his eyes and sing well. The Demon (Gene Simmons) can growl like a lion, shoot fire out of his mouth and sing...not so well (but he makes up for it by singing loudly). The Space Ace (Ace Frehley) can appear and disappear at will (sort of like his career with KISS, actually). And, the Cat...is a guy painted like a cat. So how do they have all these cool powers (that look really cheesy on film, by the way) They have a case with magic talismans which enable them to live many lives, play great tunes (sometimes) and shoot things out of their bodies (I'll say no more).

So, Zerbe can't get himself a decent hairdo, but he is able to figure out that his next step is to steal these talismans. Unfortunately, they (like most talismans) are protected by a force field and his robot-zombie can't get them--that is until Zerbe creates a cool ray gun which renders the force field inert (by the way, how did he test this to know that it would work?!). In addition, he has created four exact replicas who will take KISS' place after they are kidnapped. Step one (get the talismans) and step two (kidnap KISS) work out great, but considering that Zerbe did not appear to have a step three it's not surprising that it all fell apart at the end. You'd think step three would be global domination or at least getting some hot chicks, but you never hear or see anything that would indicate there is any plan other than to replace KISS with robots (and, judging by this movie, this might have already been done by some other mad scientist before filming began) What can I say but not only is this movie a guilty pleasure but its so bad its good. To sum up here, its fun for Kiss fans and fans of bad cinema
Lafe F

Super Reviewer

July 10, 2007
The opening scenes with giant KISS members playing behind the amusement park rides was superb. I remember this being an awesome superhero movie with KISS members having great adventures. When I rewatched as an adult it was lacking in enough fun. It sounds like great campy fun, but KISS is not in enough scenes, damnit! When they do appear, it's awesome beyond belief. Their dialogue is beautiful to the ears. I also remember KISS appearing on a Donnie and Marie Halloween Special.
ericgolden1995
March 10, 2010
now it's boring when kiss is not on screen when they are on screen it's good but the story is solid just boring with out kiss on screen and being a hard core kiss fan this alsome
December 12, 2007
I think I was like nine when I first saw this, and it was the coolest thing I ever saw, because Kiss looked like invading aliens that had raped Sesame Street or something!!! I had seen this not long after the Paul Lynde Halloween special which was the first time I had ever seen Kiss, and I thought it was all some whacked-out monster matinee with rock music, all they did was set it to Halloween, and that's why I had a great time watching it. But, now, after all these years and major growing up done on my part, "Phantom of the Park" just seems like another attempt at sci-fi cheesiness that really succeeds. And if you've watched the sci-fi channel lately, then you know what I'm talking about. I couldn't even watch this movie with a straight face these days, which is why I dropped my copy of the movie in a Goodwill bin at night. That's all I have to say about that.
filmguy55
September 4, 2007
Bad acting, cheesy special effects. no ledgable screenplay, and overacting by creepy Anthony Zerbe. A tv movie gone bad. But Kiss is the star so all is good lol.
August 11, 2007
Never watch this movie. I couldn't even laugh at it's cheesyness, because I was too bored. There were a couple of funny parts, but only parts that wern't supposed to be funny like Gene Simmons shooting up into the sky. I laughed my butt off at that and rewinded it a couple of times.
So..bad...I can't stand the badness.
elliottness3
July 19, 2007
One of my all-time favorite Hard Rock Groups, rocks the house down at Six Flags Magic Mountain..........
NWP
June 14, 2007
This doesn't age well at all. My memory of staying up and watching it was better than actually watching it again as an adult. Harmless and nostolgic, but be careful...it's longer than it looks. All that being said, I own two copies of it. KISS Army forever!
redmoonthir13en
June 1, 2007
As a die-hard KISS fan, I say this is a must-see! The acting is terrible, the writing is cheesy and the plot so full of holes you may want to wear hip-waders. It is just a classic piece of bad cinema that is so bad, it's charming. I love it!
Astrotrain
April 24, 2007
Flash back to the 70's when Kiss was at the top the charts now mix in some Hanna Barbera silliness, and add in some of the bands classic tunes. The movie is dated, but brings back memories..
generalcinema
March 22, 2007
This dribble is only watchable if you're a diehard KISS fan. That doesn't make it any better...just watchable.
rkz0601
February 26, 2007
KISS at the height of their musical success try to transfer that to the silver screen. It is so horrible it is humorous. Reading right off the cue cards. Peter Criss' voice is looped by someone else and Ace Frehley's double is African American. And you thought their music was bad?
bomebadeedaslim
February 16, 2007
well, if you ask me...it's good for a 'huh?' while watching. but then...KISS really wasn't meant to act together!
danalamarforrester
January 12, 2007
A rather good movie with Kiss and their songs was the winning force over a rather fair plot. Still an enjoyable movie.
symphonyofhorror
January 9, 2007
A wonderful treat for any KISS fan or enthusiest of campy television or 1970's pop culture. Nowhere else will you find KISS battling an army of mechanical space monkeys.
October 16, 2006
The movie KISS doesn't want you to see! It's so hokey, but that's what makes it Cult Classic Charming!
kissedtokill
September 24, 2006
a made for television movie from the 70's that shows a very lost and confused band falling apart at the semes.
harmnsteve
September 1, 2006
The acting is horrible-but if you are a kiss fan it is a must see. Be forwarned it's campy and bad and even kiss hates it but you just cant look away.
May 30, 2014
There is a good edit to the movie if someone were willing to mix this with the "Attack Of The Phantoms" version of the film. Just eliminating the first appearance of the band where Paul Stanley shoots a laser from his star eye and the rest of the band prances down it would be a great improvement. They should have entered the movie with the "bang" of their stage show opener. Its not that bad a movie. Hanna Barbera production issues mar the climactic fight scene as they show that doubles in KISS makeup and costumes still do not look like the guys in the band...A movie that with a little more care could have been a lot better.
March 31, 2014
Por mucho la peor película que he visto en un buen rato, efectos especiales horribles, dialogos espantosos, la historia más simple y aberrante, merece un premio en verdad, y las actuaciones de los miembros de Kiss, no culpo a Genne Simmons por limitarse a gruñir y caminar como retrasado toda la cinta, por mucho una obra que merece ser conseguida para una colección. Y en VHS.
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