Opening

93% Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes Jul 11
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13% Rage Jul 11
21% A Long Way Down Jul 11
—— The Class Of '92 Jul 08

Top Box Office

17% Transformers: Age of Extinction $37.1M
24% Tammy $21.6M
85% 22 Jump Street $9.8M
30% Deliver Us from Evil $9.7M
92% How to Train Your Dragon 2 $9.0M
48% Earth to Echo $8.4M
49% Maleficent $6.2M
53% Jersey Boys $5.2M
24% Think Like a Man Too $4.9M
90% Edge of Tomorrow $3.7M

Coming Soon

—— The Purge: Anarchy Jul 18
—— Sex Tape Jul 18
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—— Guardians of the Galaxy Aug 01

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New Episodes Tonight

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100% Defiance: Season 2
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—— Rookie Blue: Season 5

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—— Graceland: Season 2
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50% Jennifer Falls: Season 1
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100% Suits: Season 4
38% Taxi Brooklyn: Season 1
—— Wilfred: Season 4
43% Young & Hungry: Season 1

Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park Reviews

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ElCochran90
ElCochran90

Super Reviewer

June 14, 2014
In an otherwordly metaphysical realm and alternate perpendicular Universe(?) where King Wiseau the First reigns supreme after the death of King Ed Wood Jr. I, Prince George Hessler directed the first Hanna-Barbera Production in association with KISS Productions. Filmed as a 50s sci-fi B movie set in the 70s with rock scenes for cashing in with the naive hope of covering the negative cost of the film's production, this was the film responsible for destroying the group as we know it, being a terrible financial success and convincing the KISS members to separate and follow solo careers.

Now, before attempting to surpass the film's level of brilliance with my own words, a brilliance that surely I am not getting due to my mortal thought capacities, I am sure that the description of the elements of the movie will be more interesting than any courage I can muster to write a coherent "review" about them.

The setting is an amusement park, which is about to feature a live KISS concert. Some guy named Abner Devereaux, who developed the amusement park and the scientific designs of the technological attractions, has just been reasonably fired for ignoring safety standards in his attempt to create more ambitious park attractions. Indeed, one attraction fails, putting the lives of several people in danger. After this event, obviously, this random scientific, whom we had no idea was supposed to become the VILLAIN of the story, now justifiably wants to "get rid of" all the young attendants and "get rid of" KISS, because he now hates KISS. Why does he hate KISS? Who cares??????? Let's keep the plot moving!! Hating KISS obviously involves hating adolescents. That's obvious, derp!

With his advanced knowledge of animatronics and his Dr.-Evil-ish intentions, he builds an army of zombie robots (do not even start to ask me what's the logic behind the term "zombie robot") in his evil scientific underground facilities full of underground evil scientific stuff. He starts to kidnap adolescents and builds chips also with the intentions of controlling their minds and using them for his evil scientific purposes of destruction!!

Everything is lost!!

No, wait! Here comes KISS, with extraordinary fighting powers to save the day (and Rock & Roll all night, duh!!!) that surpass several physical laws, which include:

?Laser-shooting!
?Telepathic and telekinetic powers!
?Fuckin' Kung-Fu!
?Super-jumps that defy gravity!
?More fuckin' Kung-Fu!
?Fire Breathing!
?Lion Roaring! Suck on that, Kung-Fu Hustle!
?Fire Breathing and Lion Roaring... at the same time!!
?cyhydidh
?Jestetgreighukbjka
?001010001010100101010101001
?error 404: logical and coherence not found. Please shoot your head.

24/100
May 30, 2014
There is a good edit to the movie if someone were willing to mix this with the "Attack Of The Phantoms" version of the film. Just eliminating the first appearance of the band where Paul Stanley shoots a laser from his star eye and the rest of the band prances down it would be a great improvement. They should have entered the movie with the "bang" of their stage show opener. Its not that bad a movie. Hanna Barbera production issues mar the climactic fight scene as they show that doubles in KISS makeup and costumes still do not look like the guys in the band...A movie that with a little more care could have been a lot better.
March 31, 2014
Por mucho la peor película que he visto en un buen rato, efectos especiales horribles, dialogos espantosos, la historia más simple y aberrante, merece un premio en verdad, y las actuaciones de los miembros de Kiss, no culpo a Genne Simmons por limitarse a gruñir y caminar como retrasado toda la cinta, por mucho una obra que merece ser conseguida para una colección. Y en VHS.
July 2, 2007
If you think it's gonna be one of those movies that's so bad it's good - nope. It's just bad.
March 29, 2013
How this film did not win several Oscars is beyond me.
February 4, 2013
Funny, odd, low budget -watch again movie. Total nonsence, but I liked the goofy, no logic, fun story. Good for a laugh or two.
December 9, 2012
awesome in its day - horrible in reality
November 17, 2012
Great movie for Kiss fans there might be a few moments which are cheesy but you'll get by.
June 28, 2012
this movie is dumb. but it is b-movie fun.
August 24, 2012
well it's alright i guess....
July 29, 2012
I thought it was Freaking Awesome!
June 24, 2012
omg my dad luvs them so much, this is his #1 fave band, lol saw alittle of this though and thought it wuz ok
April 27, 2012
Guilty pleasure from childhood.
April 3, 2012
What can I say, Cheesy Rock and ROll Movie by the mother of all sell out bands. Worth a watch but it's no Hard Day's Night
March 29, 2012
Very good for the time line !!
February 4, 2012
this is one of my favorite bad movies of all time. Today i got to watch it for the first time in years and i must say it was worse then i remember it. it is so bad i wouldnt make my worst enemy watch it, but would recommend that both best friends/worst enemies watch it of their own freewill.
January 29, 2012
This is what happens when rock stars with too much money have meetings with film executives who have done too much blow! Absolutely the epitome of 1970's over-indulgence and cheese, this movie has a narrow plot, absolutely humourous special-"effects" and perhaps some of the worst acting of all time. The opening sequence and credits is actually the high point of this nightmare which can't end too soon. Do yourself a favour - if you like KISS, put on a copy of "Alive" and save yourself the embarrassment of admitting you wasted two hours of your life watching this rubbish.
jbhatlady
July 15, 2011
Funny, odd, low budget -watch again movie. Total nonsence, but I liked the goofy, no logic, fun story. Good for a laugh or two.
Blaxunshine
August 23, 2009
Slagged on for years; even razzed by KISS fans. Well Im a KISS fan & I like it. It's so bad it's good. What do you really want from a TV movie featuring a comic book band produced by Hanna-Barbera? Sure it's cheesy, there's technical goofs & half of the band is drunk but it's damn fun. This was buried for years that I think has garnered a cult following over the years; you should embrace it's awfulness. Im sure if you're not a KISS fan you're bound to hate it but if you even remotely like the band turn your brain off & enjoy the music. I should even bump my rating for that alone but what do I really know..I like The Elder
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