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News / Columns / Weekly Ketchup
Weekly Ketchup: Lara Croft, He-Man returning to theaters
Plus casting news for Nicolas Cage, Daniel Craig, and Jamie Bell.
by Greg Dean Schmitz | January 30, 2009
Discuss Article
This week, after spending some time in Utah hitting the slopes and pretending to care about independent filmmaking, Hollywood got right back in the groove, doing what they do best: greenlighting prequels, sequels, remakes and reboots. Of this week's top 10 stories, only three movies don't fit into one of those categories.


#1 TOMB RAIDER: LARA CROFT RETURNS

After making two Lara Croft: Tomb Raider movies starring Angelina Jolie, Paramount let their rights to the Eidos videogame lapse, and so Warner Bros has swept in, with plans to reboot the movie franchise (without Jolie). Tomb Raider is being shepherded by WB Producer Dan Lin, who is also the man behind Terminator Salvation, Sherlock Holmes and the recently announced Tom & Jerry. There's no writer or director signed on yet, but curiously, two days before this news hit the trades, a Spanish source broke the news that Megan Fox (Transformers) was supposedly being considered for a new Tomb Raider movie. Megan Fox's reps were quick to debunk the story, but it's still interesting that this rumor came out before anyone even knew that there even was a Tomb Raider reboot in the works.


#2 THE A-TEAM LOVES IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER

After director John Singleton left the project, it seemed like maybe The A-Team would never become a movie after all. 20th Century Fox has now, however, signed Joe Carnahan (Narc, Smokin' Aces) to direct, with Ridley Scott (Black Hawk Down) producing. Much ado is made in the Variety piece about Fox "avoiding the series' campy tone", which seems to signal that they don't quite get that what made The A-Team an awesome TV show was the tongue-in-cheek sense of humor. The new A-Team, who get their start as soldiers in the Middle East instead of Vietnam (for obvious age reasons) haven't been cast yet, but the movie is being fast tracked to meet a June 11, 2010 release date, so we should start hearing casting news soon. Joe Carnahan is teaming with videogame voice actor Brian Bloom to polish the script by Skip Woods (Hitman, Swordfish) to "make it as emotional, real and accessible as possible without cheesing it up."


#3 SAMSON GOING BACK TO THE FUTURE

Hollywood needs to leave writers some ridiculous ideas we can use for our April Fool's Day jokes. Warner Bros has paid out an upfront seven figure deal to screenwriter Scott Silver (8 Mile, cowriter of The Mod Squad) for Samson, which retells the Biblical tale of Samson and Delilah... IN THE FUTURE! The sale followed a three studio bidding war, and Warner Bros has signed Francis Lawrence, who directed their massive hit, I Am Legend (also set in the future). It's interesting to note that this is not the only wildly revisionist sci-fi project WB has in the works: last October, they announced plans to produce a version of Homer's The Odyssey set in outer space, starring Brad Pitt. As for Samson, the Hebrews described him as a legendary figure who was able to kill 1,000 Philistines with the jawbone of an ass, but when Samson falls in love with the sexy Delilah, he reveals that his strength comes from his long hair. Delilah betrays Samson to the Philistines, his hair is cut, he gets weak, is blinded and enslaved, but eventually gets his revenge. So, imagine all that, but with maybe cyborgs or zombies or something.


#4 JAMES BOND AND BILLY ELLIOTT HEADLINE TINTIN

Steven Spielberg has started 3-D motion capture filming of The Adventures of TinTin: Secret of the Unicorn in Los Angeles, and with that, we now know that Jamie Bell (Billy Elliott) will be starring as Herge's young Belgian reporter in this and Peter Jackson's next TinTin movie. Also joining the cast is Daniel Craig, who will be playing Red Rackham, a 17th century pirate whose exploits were also key to the story of Red Rackham's Treasure, which suggests that might be the movie that Peter Jackson will be directing, as it is basically the second half of the story that begins in The Secret of the Unicorn. Andy Serkis, who has plenty of experience with motion capture (Gollum in Lord of the Rings and Kong in King Kong) is costarring as the gruff Captain Haddock, a frequent TinTin character who is very instrumental to both books, and Shaun of the Dead stars Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are playing the bumbling look-alike detectives Thomson and Thompson.


#5 BY THE POWER OF... PANDA

Kung Fu Panda co-director John Stevenson will make his live action debut with a movie based upon a 1980s cartoon and toy franchise: Masters of the Universe. Joel Silver is producing for Warner Bros, and the first script draft was written by Justin Marks (Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li). Under the title of Grayskull, that script received a glowing A+ review over at Latino Review last summer. Warner Bros is aiming to make Masters of the Universe one of their big tentpole blockbuster hopefuls. Hasbro is also producing, so the emphasis in the press is mostly on the fact that the toys came first, but I think the He-Man cartoon is probably how most people remember it, and it provides this second movie (the first starred Dolph Lundgren and Frost/Nixon star Frank Langella as Skeletor) its story. Prince Adam is a bit of a fop, but when he yells "By the Power of Grayskull!", he gets all buff, rides around on a massive cat, and fights villains with very literal names.


#6 THE THING PREQUEL STRETCHES ITS CREEPY TENTACLES FORWARD

It's clobberin' time! That, anyway, is what I'd be saying if Ben Grimm was getting his own movie. But nope, today's news concerns Universal's plans to make a prequel to John Carpenter's The Thing, which will focus on what happened at that Norwegian camp that Kurt Russell and crew find all messed up, as victims of the monster's first assault. The John W. Campbell, Jr. short story, "Who Goes There?" and the original 1951 movie, The Thing from Another World are also cited as influential sources. Ron Moore, responsible for the beloved Sci-Fi Channel revamp of Battlestar Galactica is working on the script, and commericals director Matthijs Van Heijningen will make his feature debut. When I first heard of plans to return to John Carpenter's The Thing, I was frankly dismayed, but Ron Moore's involvement is making me consider a 180 turnaround. I'm left wondering what they're planning on doing about the fact that the crew of a Norwegian Antarctic camp probably speak... Norwegian?


#7 NICOLAS CAGE TO LIGHT HIS HEAD ON FIRE AGAIN IN GHOST RIDER 2

Bloody-Disgusting.com is reporting that Columbia Pictures is looking for writers for Ghost Rider 2, with Nicolas Cage already signed on and attached to return. Although the 2006 original, based upon the Marvel Comics character, was critically panned (28% on the Tomatometer), movie audiences didn't let that stop them from making Ghost Rider a $115 million hit.





#8 HILARY DUFF TO STAR IN THE STORY OF BONNIE AND CLYDE (YES, REALLY)

What I wrote about April Fool's Day in the Samson story applies doubly here. Lizzie Maguire star Hilary Duff and Kevin Zegers (Dawn of the Dead) will star in The Story of Bonnie and Clyde, an independent movie which goes back to the true story that inspired Bonnie and Clyde, one of the best movies of the 1960s. Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were a pair of Depression-Era bank robbers and cop killers who traveled the Midwest and the South, in love and destined to have a lot of holes in their car. Written and directed by Tonya S. Holly (2006's When I Find the Ocean), The Story of Bonnie and Clyde is scheduled to start filming later this year in Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama.



#9 1066: THIS... IS... HASTINGS!

New Regency, which has a distribution deal with 20th Century Fox, has hired screenwriter William Nicholson (First Knight, cowriter of Gladiator) to write 1066, a historical epic about the strained relationship between King Harold of the Anglo-Saxons and William the Conqueror of the Normans, which led to the Battle of Hastings. The movie, which is expected to start filming on a large budget later this year with two big stars as the two leaders, will feature two massive battles and one naval battle. The year 1066 is one of those dates that you really shouldn't get out of your history classes without knowing, as the results of the Battle of Hastings are generally credited with shaping English history from that point forward. It's about time the Battle of Hastings got the sort of big budget epic movie it deserves.


#10 NEILS GAIMAN AND JORDAN TEAMING UP ON THE GRAVEYARD BOOK

The day after winning the Newberry Medal for Best Children's Book of the year for The Graveyard Book, comics writer and novelist Neil Gaiman appeared on The Today Show and announced that Neil Jordan (Interview with the Vampire, The Crying Game) will be writing and directing a movie version. Inspired by The Jungle Book, The Graveyard Book is the story of an orphaned boy who is raised by the supernatural residents of a graveyard, with each chapter set a year or so apart as the boy grows up.




For more Weekly Ketchup columns by Greg Dean Schmitz, check out the WK archive, and you can contact GDS through his MySpace page or via a RT forum message and Greg also blogs about the TV show Lost, at TwoLosties.Blogspot.com.

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Comments (1-20 of 43 posts) | Reply
jokerboy1991
jokerboy1991 writes:
on Jan 30 2009 06:52 PM

Bad hair piece Bad acting *****ty effects= Ghost Rider 2

(Reply to this)
ledawg1138
ledawg1138 writes:
on Jan 30 2009 07:17 PM

"Ghost Rider" was so bad, it was good. Bad acting, bad dialouge, horrible visual effects, and stupid action. And I laughed out loud through out most of it.

Oh goodie, a "Tomb Raider", "A-Team", and "He-Man" movies. This just peachy.


(Reply to this)
ledawg1138
ledawg1138 writes:
on Jan 30 2009 07:18 PM

This *is* just peachy.

(Reply to this)
James T.
James T. writes:
on Jan 30 2009 07:49 PM

I'm rather pissed off that they think they can pull off an adaption of "The A-Team" without staying consistent with the legendary TV series. It was excellent, campy fun, with awesome actors just hamming it up every week. The humor was good, the cast had chemistry, and it was just plain fun. I'm afraid all the wrong people are involved in this film; "The A-Team" needs someone who has a serious understanding of camp.

Lara Croft... well, I'm not sure it needs a reboot. I'm not sure it needs a movie. You give me a solid story, though, with a high concept, it may be worth a $9.00 ticket.

He-Man... nothing to say for that. I know the original film was crap, but I never watched any of the material. Moving on.

Ghost Rider 2... I'm going to venture a "No", just based on my ideals and taste. I never saw the original, but I'm guessing it was no masterpiece.

1066... I'm going to venture a "Yes"! It sounds like it could be excellent, as long as it strives to be as original in execution as possible.


(Reply to this)
ARTaylor
ARTaylor writes:
on Jan 30 2009 08:04 PM

It looks like they're doing all the wrong things with The Thing prequel. We know everything that happened. They dug up a space ship, uncovered an alien, one guy slit his wrists, a Dog-thing got away, and the whole place blew up and burned down. There's nothing new they could really do. It's just going to be an exact copy of John Carpenter's movie with Norwegians. If anything I'd rather they adapt the game into a movie. Plus I have no confidence in a director that's only done commercials. I mean, I wouldn't trust the ooVoo guy to make a Star Trek flick or the director of the Billy Mays infomercials to do a Terminator. Everyone starts somewhere but they have to build themselves up. Make small TV/indie movies where they're going to make the mistakes they certainly will. Then when they got a grip on how it goes then try to please fans.

I'm sure plenty will disagree with me, but I thought Ghost Rider was pretty decent. I didn't care for it much in theaters but I saw the director's cut on DVD and then went out and bought it. I'm looking forward to the sequel.


(Reply to this)
Random_Jake
Random_Jake writes:
on Jan 30 2009 08:43 PM

Once again Hollywood proves that it has no worthy or original ideas.

(Reply to this)
Mr. Bo Ziffer
Mr. Bo Ziffer writes:
on Jan 30 2009 08:44 PM

What a strange combination for the A-Team movie. Ridley Scott, Joe Carnahan, and Skip "Couldn't Write A Good Script To Save His Life" Woods? Scott is great, and Carnahan at least has Narc under his belt, but why is this bag of douche writing the movie. After Hitman, you would think people would pay him to stay away from a keyboard. It almost makes me anxious to see the cast.

(Reply to this)
screwhead100
screwhead100 writes:
on Jan 30 2009 08:48 PM

why wouldnt they sign jolie on for another tomb raider.......even if it sucks at least we get to see her prance around.....now i wont even bother renting it if she wont be in it........

(Reply to this)
utkipp1
utkipp1 writes:
on Jan 30 2009 09:24 PM

Dude, megan Fox is so much hotter than Jolie.


I have some interest in the A-Team and The Thing prequel, but 1066: The Battle of hastings (my title) could be really, really good.


(Reply to this)
ledawg1138
ledawg1138 writes:
on Jan 30 2009 09:47 PM

In reply to this comment (#2292147)
I'll drink to that... the Megan Fox being hotter than Jolie. And in a crappy video game movie, being hot is all that matters. Acting, HA!

(Reply to this)
isotonic
isotonic writes:
on Jan 30 2009 09:51 PM

"pretending to care about independent filmmaking"... "imagine all that, but with maybe cyborgs or zombies or something".

lol great stuff!

It just occurred to me that He-Man ("By the Power of Grayskull!") is really just a big rip-off of Shazam!/Captain Marvel.

Megan Fox is younger - I guess that equals hotter.


(Reply to this)
jokerboy1991
jokerboy1991 writes:
on Jan 30 2009 10:22 PM

In reply to this comment (#2292302)
LOL I disagree. I would totally choose Jolie over Fox. The fact that Jolie is older even turns me on (sorry to those be disgusted), I mean I am younger and the idea of getting with an older woman is awesome. Also whats the big deal with Megan Fox, she is only big because she is hot. Like she has been in Transformers, thats it. Do we even know she is a good actor, she just had to play hot in Transformers which comes easy to her. I would totally choose Jolie, she is a classic beauty babe.

(Reply to this)
jokerboy1991
jokerboy1991 writes:
on Jan 30 2009 10:26 PM

In reply to this comment (#2292302)
Also I think Rose Byrne would be an awesome Lara Croft, she is hot and can act!

(Reply to this)
Mike_Nelson82
Mike_Nelson82 writes:
on Jan 30 2009 11:13 PM

They should just combine all these stories into one movie. I would love to see Samson on the A-team. Maybe the A-Team could fight Ghost Rider, and destroy the pain that he is.

(Reply to this)
Trufire
Trufire writes:
on Jan 30 2009 11:25 PM

A Tomb Raider sequel holds promise. I could see it doing well with the right type of script and acting.

He-Man....Oh man what to say. The toys were all well and good and heck, even a kids show in the 80's is alright! But if you are going to try to make it into a serious flick, you simple can't have the name "He-Man" and be taken seriously. The first movie was complete fodder for Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and it pains me to see that it never got the riff it deserved! (Mike, if you read this, PLEASE riff it so that I may get it on rifftrax.com!) Nuff said about that movie that will be laughable at best.

A Ghost Rider 2? Eh. I don't think it could get any worse than the first one (which while by no means good) wasn't terrible. I enjoyed it for the time that I watched it but I wouldn't buy it. Just another popcorn flick to pass the time. I'd see it, but only if I can for free. :)


(Reply to this)
greg_dean_schmitz
greg_dean_schmitz writes:
on Jan 31 2009 01:07 AM

In reply to this comment (#2292302)
Ah, yes, and Warner Bros is also the studio that recently shuttled off the Shazam/Captain Marvel movie project. I was actually thinking of mentioning that in my piece, but... I forgot. : )

Glad you enjoy my zingers !


(Reply to this)
Kai Sacco---panicatthekai
Kai Sacco---panicatthekai writes:
on Jan 31 2009 06:01 AM

Rebooting 'Tomb Raider', which isn't even 7 years old yet, is a bad idea.

If they are actually going to do it, I suggest casting Kate Beckinsale as Lara Croft.


(Reply to this)
Matanuki
Matanuki writes:
on Jan 31 2009 06:53 AM

You guys need to stop hitting the sauce, man. There's one perfect casting choice for Lara Croft and that is Rhona Mitra. Nuff said.

(Reply to this)
collex
collex writes:
on Jan 31 2009 08:30 AM

I don't know who I want for Lara Croft, but I know who I DON'T want: Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox. Both are not that hot. And Lara Croft is the ultimate male fantasy. So get me somebody really really hot, dammit! (Megan Fox? Sure, she is sexy, for the first 15 minutes. After that? Another plain face with a hot body)

For Tintin, I higly doubt Red Rackam's Treasure will be the next movie. I think instead that the first movie will be the Secret of the Unicorn/Red Rackam Treasure story arc (I don't think you have enough for 90-120 minute movie in Secret of the Unicorn alone). Peter Jackson's movie? I'm betting the Aztec storyline (don,t know the books' names n English, sorry) or even the "Island" one, with the big gorilla. Or maybe one with Rastapopoulos (Tintin arch-nemesis, voiced by Robert DeNiro please!!!)


(Reply to this)
Whipwrek
Whipwrek writes:
on Jan 31 2009 08:55 AM

Megan Fox is sex on legs. Dude, seriously?

(Reply to this)
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