The Life Aquatic left much to be desired. Mainly the time I wasted watching it. Stepping into this movie was like entering a crowded of your friends whom are laughing at an inside joke you were never apart of. You sit there thinking, "Am I missing something." I enjoy feeling immersed into movies. But with this I was distant and well aware I was just on a couch watching a screen. The whole time I couldn't tell whether the movie was taking itself seriously or not. If it was than its not backing itself up. If not than the irony isn't prevalent enough for me tag along in the whimsy. So many moments in the movie I couldn't tell whether I was watching exposition of just pointless film time. Regardless nothing brought me close to the characters. None of which were relatable; I couldn't find anything to get behind.
The movies slow pace had me checking the clock frequently, with the "high points" being few and far between. Even calling itself a comedy was a bit offensive. Sure I chuckled a few times but each laugh was followed by a good twenty to thirty minutes of boredom before the next joke. At each moment I was thinking about how relieved I would be when it's over, but at a few times I believed I'd fell into quick sand and I'd be watching this movie forever. Luckily the end came leaving me wondering, "What was I suppose to get out of that?" The movie can mainly be summed up as uneventful and (with hopes) forgettable. I'm starting to feel that the person who had me watch it (my brother) was trying to get back at me for something. Even he fell asleep 15 minutes in.
I'll admit that I appreciate the attempt at artistic liberties taken in many scenes and concepts of the movie. In that I appreciate the effort. Even the cast was stunning and at times a bit moving. Regardless, no matter how many salts and spices you add to rotten meat, it's still rotten meat.