"Wow, what a letdown..."
I don't know what's with Colin and why he picks all these terrible movies but I'm getting frustrated as hell... He does one decent film and after that he completely chooses the most boring and crappy script ever.
London Boulevard starts boring as hell. In the first five minutes I said "this is another bad movie with great cast" and yes it is. Besides Farrell you have the lovely Keira Knightley and the young Ophelia Lovibond (a name probably unknown for many but a face pretty recognizable) and the two british actors Ray Winstone, David Thewlis and Stephen Graham. With all that, the movie departs itself completely from reality and enters into a world of boredom and mindless savageness. I would have been more interested in a film where Colin bangs all these hot actresses attached to this messy project than to see a "whatever" type of movie.
The story mainly is about this guy Mitchell (Colin Farrell) who just out of prison gets hired by this beautiful actress Charlotte (Keira Knightley) to protect her from the paparazzi and other interferences in her life. Now, the director got it all wrong with these journalism thing. Since when 5-6 publications put the same picture of the same actress on their magazines? You could have thought about other methods to show how popular this Charlotte was but don't do such amateurish mistakes like this because it really takes away the realism. There's no such thing as 2 big tabloids having the same picture on the front page because that would be BAD BUSINESS you dumbass. Back to the topic, this guy Mitchell, even with a proper job, he still gets in parallel problems. Why? Honestly, there is no logical reason. I mean god damn... you got a nice job man, get over it. But no, he has this friend who died in ugly circ*mstances, being killed by two bastards. He goes on a personal vendetta, a pointless revenge to say the truth. With all that he goes on a criminal journey for a "big shot" jumping out in a clicheic form out of a black Rolls Royce Phantom. Laughing my ass off. ON TOP OF THAT, Mitchell and Charlotte, of course, end up together. So you got a "love story", a "revenge story", a "crime story" and a "family story" considering Mitchell's relationship with his sister (forgot to talk about that). But the film doesn't offer nothing satisfying for neither these issues. All hail the paparazzi though, at least they know what they were after because obviously the director didn't. I was surprised at times that had some funny moments which are specific for any british film. You need to have that english humor impregnated in the story otherwise the film will loose it's brit approval stamp. I enjoyed those moments but other than that there's nothing interesting left.
The acting was barely mediocre. Keira was not in her good days, Farrel did his old bored to hell character and the rest were simply "usual". Nothing to talk about so I'll go directly to the execution. First of all, the music is terrible in the movie. It has nothing to do with what's on the screen and I think it was chosen just because it sounded cool. Well, it didn't. It's one of the worst choices for a film I heard. The music was too quick for the film's slow pacing. It's like a wrong contrast between brown and purple. The camera work was average. The editing was average. Everything was under my expectations.
I honestly don't know why this movie was made. It's pointless, it has tons of bad lines, awful dialogue, mediocre acting, average execution, messy storyline... Wow, what a letdown...
Art Direction: 5/10.