Critic Review - ColeSmithey.com

[VIDEO ESSAY] Sloppy in its construction, "Marvel's The Avengers" has one thing going for it - humor.

April 30, 2012 Full Review Source: ColeSmithey.com | Comments (159)
ColeSmithey.com

Comments

Matt Alex S.

Matias Sabaj

fanboy culture is dead?
fanboys are taking over the world,you dumbass.

Apr 30 - 01:21 PM

Jason McKinney

Jason McKinney

You just had to be "that guy", didn't you.

Apr 30 - 01:23 PM

Ryan Womack

Ryan Womack

Amen.

Apr 30 - 05:11 PM

Dictator Fred

Dictator Fred

How did I know you were going to do this, Cole? Oh, I know! You're the idiot who hated great movies like Toy Story 3, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1, Kick-Ass, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, The Hunger Games, Memento, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, 300, Corpse Bride, TRON: Legacy, 9, Revenge of the Sith and Cowboys & Aliens (although I'm the only person who actually likes Cowboys & Aliens), and liked awful movies like 127 Hours, Precious, Hereafter, The Human Centipede, Clash of the Titans and the Artist (although I'm the only person who didn't like the Artist). So, basically, he's another great big troll who calls himself "the smartest movie critic in the world" when he's in fact the dumbest.

Apr 30 - 01:28 PM

Daniel Brooks

Daniel Brooks

Dude, Tron was only OK. It felt like I was was watching action figures with lights the whole time. Although, Daft Punk was good in it.

Apr 30 - 02:18 PM

Michael Miller

Michael Miller

this guy is an idiot. Doesn't understand summer blockbuster movies.

Apr 30 - 01:42 PM

Corey Bowman

Corey Bowman

Is it possible for critics to be voted off of Rotten Tomatoes?

Just wondering....

Apr 30 - 01:43 PM

Trent Bowles

Trent Bowles

These comments are always good for a laugh. Is the fact that people say the same things to attack critics some inside joke I'm not privy to?

Apr 30 - 01:43 PM

Chris Oblon

Chris Oblon

Congratulations your review has just won the award for worst review on rotten tomatoes

Apr 30 - 01:46 PM

Burning Refuse

Burning Refuse

Guys it's just Cole Smithey again, remember, the self proclaimed greatest critic in the world?

He gave all the other popular well-received films rottens just so that he could prove to people that he could. And now he does the same to Avengers.

Just another troll. End of story.

Apr 30 - 01:50 PM

Chandler Windham

Chandler Windham

What a worthless donut-hole! If you want to wash the taste of this crap out of your mouth, check out my Avengers blog at --www.thepeoplesmic.blogspot.com - I promise you an entertaining and intelligent read. Also, please fill out the one question Avengers poll located on the top right and follow me on Twitter.

"AVENGERS ASSEMBLE"

Apr 30 - 01:58 PM

Travis Richards

Travis Richards

The mad rambling of a strange , sad little man

Review by Cole Smithey

How SpongeBob Promotes Pedophilia,
Not Homosexuality
The derogatory argot in French for a homosexual male is pédé (pronounced Pay Day). It's a term that also means pedophile. The religious right in America has posited a similar equivalence between "gay" and "pedophile" in their assertions that SpongeBob is a reprehensible influence of the youth of America because he is (they say) gay. They're missing the point. SpongeBob's character may or may not be gay, but that's not what makes his influence so pernicious. For all that's been made of the alleged homosexual subtext in "The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie" and consequently the television program, it's confounding that no one has pointed out how blatant the pedophile references written directly into its text far outweigh its "gay" overtones. This presents a problematic backlash for liberals who defend SpongeBob in the name of "diversity" because they too are witlessly confusing pedophilia with homosexuality and thus falling into another rhetoric trap set by the right.
Influential Christian conservative talking head James Dobson spearheaded the current SpongeBob controversy by publicly attacking the "We Are Family Foundation" for their allegedly "pro-homosexual video," featuring many different cartoon characters including SpongeBob, which was to be sent out to "61,000 public and private elementary schools." However Dobson has not cited specific aspects of the character that he believes prove that SpongeBob is gay. Instead he is concerned with smearing the "We Are Family Foundation" and their allies the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), the National Gay and Lesbian Taskforce, and Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). I have not been able to obtain a copy of that educational video, but am in any event, interested only in the content of the SpongeBob movie as it relates to the social discourse of the film and claims that it promotes a pro-pedophile versus a pro-homosexual motif.   
University of California at Davis Professor of Psychology Gregory M. Herek writes, "Sexual orientation is normally thought of in terms of an adult's sexual attraction to other adults, whether to members of the same gender, opposite gender or both genders." Herek cites a case study of 175 male adults convicted in Massachusetts of child sexual assault that found that none of them were homosexuals. Yet all of them would fit the description of a fixated child molester. Gay, in other words, does not equal pedophile.
One insidious aspect of SpongeBob's actions in "The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie" is that the child character is shown as an instigator in intimacy with adult male characters. What troubles me as a critic is that the script seems expertly tailored as a tool for John Doe pedophile to convince his child neighbor that there are acceptable situations in which a grown man and a little boy may be in various states of undress together.
When I attended a screening of "The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie" on a Saturday morning with a crowd of preteen children in Manhattan I was completely unfamiliar with SpongeBob. In my freshly caffeinated state I expected to settle in for some standard kiddie humor along the lines of the Bugs Bunny variety that I grew up with. But after the false start opening of the film I found myself taking more notes for this children's cartoon than I did for "The House Of Flying Daggers." In scene after scene I noted a relentless stream of phallic references scored by a plotline, character arc, and dialogue that was unmistakably rife with pedophile text. We're not talking "subtext" here, but rather an explicit line of thinking in the dialogue and character interaction that describes an intermingling of adult males with a boy whose only wish is to be treated as an adult.   
As a "PG" movie, the MPAA ratings board prefaces the film with a blurb that reads "Some Material May Not Be Suitable For Children." "Some Mild Crude Humor" falls under the tacit disclaimer as a brief warning that a few fart jokes may be in the offing, but parents are accustomed to enduring that sort of offense in 90 percent of the movies currently produced for preteens. It's unclear how the references to nudity in the film avoided a mention in the MPAA warning.
So what happens in the movie? SpongeBob is a big-eyed (read naive) yellow adolescent sponge with athletic socks and a private school uniform who lives at the bottom of the ocean with an array of phallic shaped fish characters. SpongeBob has no sponge peers that he resembles; he's "special" and alienated. SpongeBob is introduced in his first scene as an adult restaurant manager who calms an upset penis-like patron (note the Caucasian pink flesh color) named Phil by placing a slice of cheese on Phil's hamburger while the two sit a

Apr 30 - 02:01 PM

Jeffrey Martinez

Jeffrey Martinez

You can definitely not like the plot or genre, but there's no denying this is an amazingly entertaining movie. Can't wait to see it again.

Apr 30 - 02:03 PM

Daniel Brooks

Daniel Brooks

Wait. He gives it a C+ and it's negative??? That's like a 3.5 out of 5! It's positive, RT! POSITIVE!

Apr 30 - 02:11 PM

Marquis de Carabas

Sanity Claus

He sets the freshness rating himself. All reviewers do.

The fact that he gave it (essentially) a 3.5 and called it "Rotten", tells me that he is either a nerd-baiter or a complete idiot.

Apr 30 - 02:59 PM

James Heywood

James Heywood

Ah yes, the contrarian is back.

Apr 30 - 02:31 PM

Tammy Buerger

Tammy Buerger

So minus the douchebags it looks like TA Stands at 100%

Apr 30 - 02:38 PM

John Wynn

John Wynn

http://www.pajiba.com/seriously_random_lists/the-most-deplorable-comments-on-the-only-negative-review-so-far-for-the-avengers.php

"Accusations of ?troll!11!!? run rampant on RT, and more often than not, these accusations are hurled at the critics themselves. This is especially true when the review-in-question is the first to come down negatively, or rotten, on a film preconceived to be the greatest thing in the history of ever. Occasionally, mostly when talking about Armond White, these buttholes have good reason to take a shit, but more often than not they go beyond the pale with non-critical, ad hominem attacks that anyone with a sense of decency would never even consider. And anyone with an ounce of shame would delete before ever hitting ?post comment.?

I think Cole Smithey is wrong in his review but the man has the right to an opinion. The above article hits it right on the head about our community here.

Apr 30 - 02:52 PM

shoutsma

Schuyler Houtsma

"Self-professed 'World's Smartest Critic' once again does something foolish."

Apr 30 - 03:28 PM

Alec Low

Alec Low

His opinion can't be that far off from other critics. He agrees with the tomatometer 78% of the time, more than Richard Roeper.

Apr 30 - 03:41 PM

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