Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid Reviews
First of all, the movie's special effects are terrible. Now, that isn't anything that's really surprising, this is after all, a made-for-tv monster movie. And judging a movie on its special effects can be harsh sometimes. Even some great films can appear dated after a while because they were made when the technology to create sets, creatures and other effects were limited. Look at black-and-white films for example, or even silent films. You wouldn't give negative points to a movie made before 1930 because it was both silent and black and white. What differentiates this movie from other films with bad special effects is that no one cared while making the movie and it shows. There are so many stupid mistake made with the effects. There is a scene for example where a giant python is killed with dynamite, but in the chunks seen floating in the water afterwards you can clearly see the head of a giant alligator too. There's just no excuse for a mistake that bad. How about another scene where Debbie Gibson's character "Dr. Nikki Miley" falls in the water and comes up again, with the incredibly fake-looking scratch marks on her arm melting off because they were using cheap makeup that wasn't waterproof to draw them? It's incredibly clear too that the actors were given very little direction while the movie was shot because there are constant moments where characters don't see enormous reptiles to their sides or sneaking up on them and characters shoot wildly in every direction trying to fend off the creatures. In countless scenes if something is off-screen it simply ceases to exist, despite the fact that these are 50-foot creatures we are dealing with.
The poor effects make the bad acting seem even worse. There is only one decent performance in the movie and it's Kathryn Joosten, who is also the only likeable character. Everyone else is sleepwalking through the terrible dialogue but it almost becomes hard to blame the players here because it's clear that the director also didn't care at all what she was tying her name to. The story is utter non-sense. It doesn't take a biologist to realize that not only do steroids not affect genetic material (so big muscular gators that have consumed steroids do not, in fact give birth to even bigger, more muscular gators), but it is ridiculous to assume that even if these creatures could grow about 50 times their normal size within a few generations and six month's time, there is no way that they would go un-noticed, much less no go around bothering people. Are we really supposed to believe as well that there wouldn't be some sort of army presence within a few minutes of these creatures showing up in a big city and destroying numerous buildings? oh wait, the people making the film didn't care enough to address that.
What else do you need to read to turn you away from this movie? The story, editing, acting, special effects and dialogue are all completely worthless and sure, you'll get a couple of laughs at the movie's expense, but you have to sit through and hour and a half of this so they get really boring after a while. If some "so bad it's good" laughs is all you want, just watch the trailer for this movie or watch any number of 60's monster movies that actually had people cast because the crew though they might be good instead of their "celebrity status". You might actually get some decent gore, one-liners and nudity to boot too. You have no idea how frustrating watching this movie is. After a while you keep lowering your expectations and demands thinking "ok, if this character one annoying character dies and we get at least one decent monster fight towards the end, it'll be worth it" but no amount of continuously lowering standards will make the movie worth your time. If you start watching the movie and you're a 14-year old kid that thinks to himself "maybe I'll see that busty sherif take off her top, that will make my day!" remember, this was made for TV so you won't get any of that and no over-the-top violence or gore either. "Mega Python vs. Gatoroid" is terrible, so terrible that you'll be adding it to your list of "worst movies I've ever seen" and "Things I regret in my lifetime" after you're done watching it. (Dvd, APril 2, 2013)
Luckily, Mega Python vs Gatoroid (gators on steroids, get it?) does have a few decent kill moments and the gore level is higher than you might expect from such a lame film otherwise.
Unfortunately, there isn't enough of it, it isn't very good and the rest of the aspects of the movie just plain suck.
This film will more likely give you lead poisoning than enjoyment but if you are adventurous, don't say I didn't warn you first.
This is a ridiculous movie, but lines like that let you know they know this is a ridiculous movie, and consequently I'll be damned if I wasn't entertained. Gonzo environmentalist Deborah Gibson has been liberating pythons kept as pets back into Florida's everglades, and now that the habitat has reached critical mass, park ranger Tiffany decides to rescue the dwindling alligator population by increasing their size by feeding them experimental steroids. Two days later, both species have overrun Miami! Some hilariously bad B-movie acting and the absolute worst CGI you will find in the 21st century would normally doom this kind of creature feature (like with Gibson's earlier Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus) but this time we experience the So Bad It's Good Effect. A group of hillbillies seemingly transplanted from Alabama shoot everything in sight, one of them has a dog named Bubba, Mickey Dolenz of the Monkees appears as a guest speaker and gets eaten, at a fundraiser a local reptile expert warns "If you have a weapon, get it out now!" upon which everyone demonstrates they were packing, and after her fiancee is devoured by a python Tiffany wails, "Those snakes are ruining everything!" I even got some kicks during the credit crawl, when an actor named A Martinez was introduced I was waiting for the appearance of Another Martinez.
Music history lesson: Deborah (then 'Debbie') Gibson and Tiffany were the Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears circa 1999 of the late-'80s, two teenagers bursting onto the pop scene at the top of the charts. Gibson fans hated Tiffany, and Tiffany fans hated Gibson, but I doubt either singer harbored resentment towards the other. But for those fans, if they still exist, this is your dream movie, pitting the pair on opposite sides of the law and having the ultimate throwdown - this movie certainly gives people what they want! An epic catfight ensues, complete with theme music, name-calling, rolling on top of each other, food fighting, and getting soaked in a lake.
Gibson is more the looker these days and markedly better actress (and much skinnier than I remember her from Mega Shark), while Tiffany is undisputed queen of the Tit Parade - she runs around a lot and probably should have worn a chin guard. Gibson calls Tiffany a bitch at least eight times, and with every heated encounter between them you know the stacks will blow at some point, so you gotta hand it to them by delivering on that promise. Both go all out and seem to have fun with the rivalry perception by agreeing to this project's stunt casting, with the capper having them trade spoken lines which were lyrics from Tiffany's massive hit 'I Think We're Alone Now.' Maybe they're two has-beens now in their early 40's desperate enough to be part of any project remotely affiliated with the entertainment industry by smearing pie cream across each other's chest, but I prefer to think the former explanation holds more truth.
Overall, it was all about Tiffany and Debbie. Take that away, and it's crap. Well, it's already crap, but it would be crappier crap.