The Muppet Christmas Carol Quotes

The top The Muppet Christmas Carol quotes selected by the Rotten Tomatoes community. Login to submit a quote!

    1. Fozzie Bear: My speech! Here's my Christmas speech. Ahem. 'Thank you all, and Merry Christmas.'
    2. Jacob Marley: That was the speech?
    3. Robert Marley: It was dumb!
    4. Jacob Marley: It was obvious!
    5. Robert Marley: It was pointless!
    6. Jacob Marley: It was... short! [turns to Robert]
    7. Jacob Marley: I loved it! [simultaneously]
    8. Robert Marley: I loved it! [simultaneously]
    – Submitted by Nick S (18 months ago)
    1. Rizzo the Rat: I fell down the chimney and landed on a flaming hot goose!
    2. Great Gonzo: You have all the fun!
    – Submitted by MarieBella C (23 months ago)
    1. Great Gonzo: He was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scr...[notices the smudged window of Scrooge's office] Boy, this really *is* a dirty city!
    2. Rizzo the Rat: Heh you're telling me!
    3. Rizzo the Rat: [Gonzo grabs Rizzo and uses him to wipe off the window pane] Thank you for makin' me a part of this!
    4. Great Gonzo: [dropping Rizzo] He was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge: a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, clutching, covetous old sinner!
    – Submitted by MarieBella C (23 months ago)
    1. Kermit the Frog: If you please Mr. Scrooge, it's gotten colder, and the bookkeeping staff would like an extra shovel full of coal for the fire?
    2. Additional Muppet Performer: We can't do the bookkeeping, all our pens have turned to inkcicles!
    3. Additional Muppet Performer: Our assets are frozen!
    4. Ebenezer Scrooge: How would the bookkeeping staff like to be suddenly... UNEMPLOYED?
    5. Additional Muppet Performer: [singing] HEAT WAVE. This is my island in the sun.
    – Submitted by MarieBella C (23 months ago)
    1. Rizzo the Rat: Oh, Gonzo, speak to me! I mean, Mr. Dickens. Charlie! Are ya hurt?
    2. Great Gonzo: [sits up] To say that Scrooge became startled would be untrue. Still the moment had passed, and the world was as it should be.
    3. Rizzo the Rat: He ain't hurt, didn't even break his concentration.
    4. Great Gonzo: Huh?
    5. Rizzo the Rat: Nothing!
    – Submitted by MarieBella C (23 months ago)
    1. Rizzo the Rat: How do you know what Scrooge is doin'? We're down here and he's up there!
    2. Great Gonzo: I told you, storytellers are omniscient; I know everything!
    3. Rizzo the Rat: Hoity-toity, Mr. Godlike Smarty-Pants!
    4. Great Gonzo: To conduct a proper search, Scrooge was forced to light the lamps. [the lamps come on]
    5. Rizzo the Rat: How DOES he do that?
    – Submitted by MarieBella C (23 months ago)
    1. Great Gonzo: Once again, I must ask you to remember that the Marleys were dead, and decaying in their graves.
    2. Rizzo the Rat: Yuck!
    3. Great Gonzo: [whispering] That one thing you must remember, or nothing that follows will seem wondrous.
    4. Rizzo the Rat: Why are you whispering?
    5. Great Gonzo: It's for dramatic emphasis.
    – Submitted by MarieBella C (23 months ago)
    1. Rizzo the Rat: Boy, that's scary stuff! Should we be worried about the kids in the audience?
    2. Great Gonzo: Nah, it's all right. This is culture!
    – Submitted by MarieBella C (23 months ago)
    1. Rizzo the Rat: There are two things in this life I hate: heights, and jumping from them.
    2. Great Gonzo: Too late now. Come on, I'll catch you.
    3. Rizzo the Rat: God save my little broken body!
    4. Great Gonzo: Missed.
    5. Rizzo the Rat: Oh wait a second... I forgot my jellybeans. Um... [Slides through the bars to retrieve them, and joins Gonzo back on the other side. Gonzo stares at him] What?
    6. Great Gonzo: You can fit through those bars?
    7. Rizzo the Rat: Yeah.
    8. Great Gonzo: You are such an idiot.
    9. Rizzo the Rat: What, come on what!
    – Submitted by MarieBella C (23 months ago)
    1. Rizzo the Rat: Rats don't understand these things.
    2. Great Gonzo: You were never a lonely child?
    3. Rizzo the Rat: I had twelve hundred and seventy four brothers and sisters.
    4. Great Gonzo: Boy Rats don't understand these things!
    – Submitted by MarieBella C (23 months ago)
    1. Ebenezer Scrooge: There's more of gravy than of grave about you!
    – Submitted by T R (2 years ago)
    1. Sam Eagle: It's the American way!
    2. Great Gonzo: Sam, *whispers in Sam's ear*
    3. Sam Eagle: Ahem! It's the BRITISH way!
    – Submitted by T R (2 years ago)
    1. Kermit the Frog: It's the annual penguin skating party!
    – Submitted by T R (2 years ago)
    1. Rizzo the Rat: Thank you for making me a part of this.
    – Submitted by T R (2 years ago)

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