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No Such Thing

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No Such Thing (2002)

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Reviews Counted:42

Fresh:12

Rotten:30

Average Rating:5/10

Rated: R [See Full Rating] for language and brief violence

Runtime: 1 hr 43 mins

Genre: Dramas

Theatrical Release:Mar 29, 2002 Limited

Synopsis: Everyone says there's no such thing as a monster. What if they were wrong? Renowned director Hal Hartley poses that question in United Artists Films / American Zoetrope's production of No Such... Everyone says there's no such thing as a monster. What if they were wrong? Renowned director Hal Hartley poses that question in United Artists Films / American Zoetrope's production of No Such Thing, a modern fairy tale about a kind, sensitive beauty and her horrific, tortured beast. In the frigid, mountainous, northernmost edge of the world lives a Monster (Robert John Burke). Hard-drinking, foul-mouthed and extremely bad tempered, he doesn't know exactly when he came into existence, but it was long before the dawn of man, whom he holds in great contempt. The ceaseless noise of humanity and the ever-increasing barrage of media signals fill his head as though he were a satellite dish, causing unbearable agony that only booze and occasional slaughter can relieve. Unfortunately, as far as he can tell, he'll live in misery forever - nothing can kill him. Far away in New York City where crime, terrorism and senseless violence abound lives Beatrice (Sarah Polley). A young, sensible girl, Beatrice works in a low level job at a sensationalist TV news show where the world's catastrophes mean high ratings and bad news is good news. The "Boss" (Helen Mirren) constantly rails at her staff to find - or create - even worse news. Civilization's chaos reigns supreme. When Beatrice's boyfriend and his crew goes missing while on assignment to find the fabled Monster for a news story, Beatrice goes to look for him and comes face to face with the Monster herself. He's murdered her boyfriend and his crew, and will most likely do the same to her, but instead of setting her on fire or tearing her in two, she and the monster forge a tentative, cautious friendship. When the Monster confesses that there's only one chance for an end to his constant torment, Beatrice and he return to civilization to seek out modern-day mad scientist Dr. Artaud, the only man with the secret to ending the Monster's life. As the pair weathers the storm of publicity created by the Monster's arrival in New York, the media frenzy and ensuing fame threatens to throw Beatrice off course, leaving the Monster stranded and persecuted by government testing and endless talk show conjecture and questioning. When Beatrice comes to her senses and struggles to do what she set out to do, she's then forced to answer the hardest question of all: What if there were no monsters to believe in? From acclaimed writer/director Hal Hartley (The Unbelievable Truth), United Artists Films presents an American Zoetrope production (in association with The Icelandic Film Corporation and True Fiction Pictures) of NO SUCH THING, the offbeat, moving story of a cranky monster and the good-hearted girl who changes his life. Starring Sarah Polley (Go, The Sweet Hereafter), Robert John Burke (From the Earth to the Moon), Helen Mirren (Prime Suspect, The Madness of King George), and Julie Christie (Afterglow, Shampoo), the film was produced by Fridrik Thór Fridriksson, Hartley, and Cecilia Kate Roque, with executive producers Francis Ford Coppola, Linda Reisman and Willi Baer. The esteemed production team includes director of photography Michael Spiller (The House of Yes), production designer Árni Páll Jóhannsson (Children of Nature), editor Steve Hamilton (Trance), the music of Hal Hartley, and costume designer Helga I. Stefánsdóttir. -- © 2001 MGM/UA [More]

Starring: Robert John Burke, Sarah Polley, Helen Mirren, Julie Christie

Starring: Robert John Burke, Sarah Polley, Helen Mirren, Julie Christie, Erica Gimpel, Baltasar Kormákur

Director: Hal Hartley

Director: Hal Hartley
Screenwriter: Hal Hartley
Producer: Fridrik Thor Fridriksson, Hal Hartley, Cecilia Kate Roque
Composer: Hal Hartley
Studio: MGM/UA

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Release:

Jul 9, 2002

No Details Exist
 
 

Reviews for No Such Thing

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21 - 40 (sorted by date)
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The Christ allegory doesn't work because there is no foundation for it

Full Review Source: Reeling Reviews | comment Comment
03/30/02
Laura Clifford
Laura Clifford
Reeling Reviews
N/R

Click to read the article

Full Review Source: Boston Phoenix | comment Comment
03/30/02
Boston Phoenix

On a cutting room floor somewhere lies...footage that might have made No Such Thing a trenchant, ironic cultural satire instead of a frustrating misfire.

Full Review Source: SPLICEDWire | comment Comment
03/30/02
Rob Blackwelder
Rob Blackwelder
SPLICEDWire

It's a film with an idea buried somewhere inside its fabric, but never clearly seen or felt.

Full Review Source: Combustible Celluloid | comment Comment
03/29/02
Jeffrey M. Anderson
Jeffrey M. Anderson
Combustible Celluloid

Everything's serious, poetic, earnest and -- sadly -- dull.

Full Review Source: Washington Post | comment Comment
03/29/02
Desson Thomson
Desson Thomson
Washington Post
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

By the end of No Such Thing the audience, like Beatrice, has a watchful affection for the monster.

Full Review Source: Washington Post | comment Comment
03/29/02
Ann Hornaday
Ann Hornaday
Washington Post

Little more than a stylish exercise in revisionism whose point ... is no doubt true, but serves as a rather thin moral to such a knowing fable.

Full Review Source: TV Guide's Movie Guide | comment Comment
03/29/02
Ken Fox
Ken Fox
TV Guide's Movie Guide

An off-beat and fanciful film about the human need for monsters to blame for all that is amiss in the world.

Full Review Source: Spirituality and Practice | comment Comment
03/29/02
Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat
Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat
Spirituality and Practice

The way in which Hartley has conceived and then executed the story will leave most viewers feeling nothing but confusion, boredom and anger for wasting their time on cinematic drivel such as this.

Full Review Source: Screen It! | comment Comment
03/29/02
Jim Judy
Jim Judy
Screen It!

Hartley never gets a firm grasp on this material.

Full Review Source: San Francisco Chronicle | comment Comment
03/29/02
Edward Guthmann
Edward Guthmann
San Francisco Chronicle
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

Constantly slips from the grasp of its maker.

Full Review Source: Reel.com | comment Comment
03/29/02
Rod Armstrong
Rod Armstrong
Reel.com

What [Hartley] wants, and gets, is a fablish mood.

Full Review Source: Newsday | comment Comment
03/29/02
John Anderson
John Anderson
Newsday
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

No Such Thing is sort of a minimalist Beauty and the Beast, but in this case the Beast should definitely get top billing. Robert John Burke as The Monster horns in and steals the show.

Full Review Source: Fantastica Daily | comment Comment
03/29/02
Staci Layne Wilson
Staci Layne Wilson
Fantastica Daily

Only the most dyed-in-the-wool Hartley fans will find this monster a ball.

Full Review Source: E! Online | comment Comment
03/29/02
E! Online

It's the kind of pigeonhole-resisting romp that Hollywood too rarely provides.

Full Review Source: Christian Science Monitor | comment Comment
03/29/02
David Sterritt
David Sterritt
Christian Science Monitor

Tender yet lacerating and darkly funny fable.

Full Review Source: Los Angeles Times | comment Comment
03/29/02
Kevin Thomas
Kevin Thomas
Los Angeles Times
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

Laggard drama wending its way to an uninspired philosophical epiphany.

Full Review Source: New York Post | comment Comment
03/29/02
Megan Turner
Megan Turner
New York Post

Much as I value independence in art, it's possible for a filmmaker to crawl so far onto his own wavelength that he loses touch with everything else.

Full Review Source: Entertainment Weekly | comment Comment
03/29/02
Owen Gleiberman
Owen Gleiberman
Entertainment Weekly
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

Inexplicable, shapeless, dull.

Full Review Source: Chicago Sun-Times | comment Comment
03/29/02
Roger Ebert
Roger Ebert
Chicago Sun-Times
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

The script kicks in, and Mr. Hartley's distended pace and foot-dragging rhythms follow.

Full Review Source: New York Times | comment Comment
03/28/02
Elvis Mitchell
Elvis Mitchell
New York Times
Top Critic Icon Top Critic
 
 
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