The Octagon Reviews
I mean this film is basically worth watching for yucks only. There are some incredible unintentional laughs (ie Chucks inner monologue (that appears an absurd amount) posseses an echoey whisper to it that just kills me). I never realised how gentle souled Chuck seems either. Plus, in 2008, the presence of ninjas in a film is just ridiculous.
This sucker was a hoot, but I know I didn't miss much with the lack of Norris in my childhood.
P.S. The joke that Chuck has no chin, that under his beard is just another fist, is sadly debunked in this film as he only has a creepy mustache.
"They wern't terrorists, they were ninja."-Scott James (Chuck Norris)
Ninjas are cool, I some day wish to become a master ninja, but I dislike ninjas who can be taken down it two moves or be shot.
Pass, unless you have buddies to poke fun at it with, or you are more of a fan than I appear to be.
Scott James has experienced an array of tragic events in his history that have left him disconnected from society and a bit eccentric. Scott is an expert martial artist and protects a female from a group of terrorist ninjas that are hell bent on spreading across the globe. When Scott discovers the ninjas are lead by two individuals that helped ruin his life, he will stop at nothing to bring them down.
"I'd like to believe you."
Eric Karson, director of Opposing Force, Black Eagle, and Angel Town, delivers The Octagon. The storyline for this picture is awful as the hero seems to be a schizophrenic, former military, former martial artists, and current terrorist expert. I'm not sure what direction this film was heading. The script was atrocious and so was the acting. The cast includes Chuck Norris, Lee Van Cleef, Karen Carlson, Art Hindle, and Richard Norton.
"Are you less than inspirational?"
The Octagon was a film I came across while looking for Lee Van Cleef movies. I couldn't believe he starred in a picture with Chuck Norris so I had to see it. After watching this; actually, I didn't need to see this. The inner monologue was hilarious at first but a bit tedious as the picture dragged on. The plot was painful and the acting was dreadful; however, the action scenes were better than average and worthwhile. Overall, skip this picture unless you are a huge Chuck Norris fan...and even then I still might recommend skipping this.
"Have you hugged your rifle today?"
I would like to discuss the plot, but in this movie the premise is so all over the place that it's really hard to notice that there is even a plot at all. At one moment I'm looking at a Ninja training camp, and the next scene is some guy taking a machine gun out of a baby stroller, shooting up a car. It's really annoying, and really confusing to even pretend that you know what's going on in this film, half the time. But for a plot, I guess Chuck Norris has to kill his brother. That's basically it. Everything else is just stupid.
There are a lot of little things in this movie that really piss me off. But one of the worst and most stupid things that happens in this movie, is when Chuck Norris is reading a newspaper, and there is an add to be a mercenary soldier. I mean come on, are you serious?!?!?! First of all, I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard, but at the same time, I was upset by how stupid it was. It's just one of the little things that makes this movie dumb.
Chuck Norris really doesn't do anything in this movie. He says a couple of lines, and then he beats the crap out of some people. But I guess that's how it always is, so it's not like I was expecting anything different.
Maybe I wouldn't complain as much if the film was kind of ridiculous and the fighting was alright, considering it's a Chuck Norris movie, but the fight scenes in this movie are so poorly coordinated, that they aren't even fun to watch. I'm just staring aimlessly at the screen while Norris beats some guys up in really stupid ways. That kind of pissed me off too.
"The Octagon" was one of the most ridiculous movies I have ever seen. The whole idea of it was stupid, the acting was atrocious, the fighting was atrocious, and the all around existence of this movie as a whole is completely unnecessary. A VERY bad movie.
If you're not a fan of B-movies, then I'm sure that you'll hate this piece of crap and should only pay attention to my RT rating.
Norris swears revenge and must soon confront his brother, Sakura, who he knew was behind it all along, thanks to innumerable self-posessed whispery narrations by Norris himself.
It's a beauty, to be sure. And, with Lee Van Cleef in the bunch, it's guaranteed bad acting all around. Wait, no. I take that back. The black guy from the Ghostbusters films makes a small cameo. He was fine. What's his name again?
Anyhow, it's fabulous. Second only to Death Promise.