Movies Like One Million Years B.C.

Opening

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43% This Is Where I Leave You Sep 19
82% Tracks Sep 19
93% The Guest Sep 17

Top Box Office

11% No Good Deed $24.3M
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19% Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles $4.9M
20% Let's Be Cops $4.4M
88% The Drop $4.1M
37% If I Stay $3.9M
35% The November Man $2.8M
35% The Giver $2.6M
67% The Hundred-Foot Journey $2.4M

Coming Soon

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New Episodes Tonight

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89% Manhattan: Season 1
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78% Ray Donovan: Season 2
87% The Strain: Season 1
—— Witches of East End: Season 2

Discuss Last Night's Shows

91% Doctor Who: Season 8
—— Hell on Wheels: Season 4
40% Intruders: Season 1
90% Outlander: Season 1

One Million Years B.C. Reviews

Page 1 of 13
Phil H

Super Reviewer

June 6, 2013
That film with that poster, of course you know what I mean. Actually a remake of a film with the same name from 1940 and keeping many sequences the same. In turn this film does also seem to be the influence behind big Roland Emmerich flop '10,000 BC'.

This was my first time seeing this Hammer classic and I must say I was completely surprised. The film starts out kinda like the sci-fi classic '2001' accept we don't have ape men but cavemen. A tribe of cavemen running around fighting, squabbling and hunting mammals, there is no dialog accept for grunts and basic gestures. I did actually think this was just the opening of the film showing a flashback/setting the plot or something, at no point did I think the entire film was gonna be like this haha colour me shocked!.

So yeah straight away I must give kudos to the creative team behind the film for the hugely bold and brave move of making an entire film in 'native caveman' grunts. Just the occasional caveman name is all you get here folks, followed by lots of 'ug's'.

The plot is as simple as the grunts you constantly hear. Basically its about two tribes, one being a very aggressive, dirty, scruffy, dark haired bunch and the other being a much fairer, cleaner looking, advanced, civilised blonde bunch. Almost as if one tribe was from the UK and the other was from Scandinavia heh. One caveman is rejected from the dark haired tribe and goes walkabout, avoiding many dangers he ends up finding the blonde tribe and falling for the ultimate cavewoman Raquel Welch. Again this rough caveman is rejected from the tribe (for being too aggressive I think) and again he goes walkabout but with Welch in tow, more dangers follow.

This film NEVER pretended to be realistic, not in the slightest, its a complete fantasy from start to finish with maybe the odd spot of realism touched upon (locations seem quite realistic). There are many issues of course that are completely stupid but is there really any point in me referring to them?. It did amuse me how almost every cavewoman is hot, not just Welch (And since when do cavewomen wear fur bikin...never mind). Most of the young ones are firm, fit, slim, clean looking, big bosomed with long flowing hair. Where as the men are all ugly, overly hairy, a bit porky and rather dirty looking, god knows what the women see in them.

Dark haired tribe are bad/primitive, blonde haired tribe are good/civilised, typical fantasy stuff really, black being bad, white being good...colour of costumes normally I mean. You could almost say the dark haired tribe were like trolls and the blonde haired tribe like elves.

The big draw in this film (apart from Welch's perfect tanned body) is of course the Harryhausen Dino effects. Easily some of the best enjoyable action we've seen from Harryhausen, the highlight for me being the excellent battle between a Ceratosaurus and a Triceratops. Not only does it look fantastic but the movement of the creatures does seem really very realistic, clearly a lot of study went into how they could of actually moved. The other fun stop motion moment for me was the giant turtle simply because it looked awesome and kinda friendly.

Strange how the film incorporates two sequences of real creatures superimposed onto the live action. Didn't like that idea (looking at you Ray) as it mixes two types of fantasy flick concepts. Usually these films are either one direction or the other for their creature effects, real or stop motion. To use the two makes the film seem a bit messy to me, as if there was indecision, plus the two methods simply don't look right together. A small gripe but not too much of an issue...accept for the giant tarantula, eh?.

This could of been quite a smart sensible realistic epic had they taken the more accurate approach. Instead they opt for the outlandish fantasy element which is cool don't get me wrong, but at the time this film was made this genre was pretty heavily flooded with similar films. The plot can be hard to follow in places due to the fact there is no spoken English and it does feel as though some ideas weren't fully developed (the hairy ape men sequences spring to mind).

Not without its flaws that's for sure but still a unique film, I think without Harryhausen's skills the film would have been incredibly dull. Pure overblown comicbook fluff that has gone down in modern pop culture much like other fantasy films 'Flash Gordon' and 'Barbarella'. I don't think we'll ever see another film where a cavewoman has as much makeup and hair products on as the gorgeous Welch. Utterly ludicrous of course, but holy Stegosaurus turd Batman!...she was damn cute back then.
Lucas M

Super Reviewer

August 24, 2012
Dispite several flaws and become an unintended comedy, One Million Years B.C. it's one of the most remarkables and likable 'caveman era' that I ever saw. Without forget the classic special effects.
Apeneck F

Super Reviewer

August 7, 2012
While perhaps historically inaccurate here is still a rousing imaginative adventure take on what really old school may have been like Edgar R. Burroughs style. Harryhausen animation does nice background work as usual and the young buxom Ms. Welch's loincloth bikini does the rest in this fantasy about the savage beginnings of social networking pre- Facebook. Fun.
Stephen M

Super Reviewer

November 11, 2007
Christ, this is boring! Unfortunately for us, it was such a success upon first release that Hammer 'treated' us to two more pictures in the same vein, "When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth", which I've not yet been unlucky enough to catch, and "Creatures the World Forgot", which is even worse than this! "One Million Years B.C." is virtually plotless; Raquel and her boyfriend just seem to drift backwards and forwards from his tribe to hers (and back again), fending off the occasional dinosaur when our attention threatens to flag. The effects work isn't too shabby but it hasn't aged well.
jjnxn
jjnxn

Super Reviewer

August 6, 2007
Utterly ridiculous but entertaining if you're in the mood and Raquel IS breathtaking.
garyX
garyX

Super Reviewer

April 12, 2007
Raquel Welch in an animal skin bikini gets menaced by anachronistic stop motion monsters. Absolute rubbish. But RAQUEL WELCH IN AN ANIMAL SKIN BIKINI!! (As you can imagine, only one section of the demographic population is catered for here...)
deano
deano

Super Reviewer

March 28, 2007
Good remake of 1939 prehistoric adventure with sexy Raquel Welch with her fur-bikini that makes her look hot.
Byron B

Super Reviewer

March 11, 2008
Of course I've seen pictures of Raquel Welch in her leather bikini. I decided to watch this since Harryhausen passed away recently. But I had no idea this is a remake! How many people have heard of One Million B.C. from 1940 with Victor Mature, Carole Landis, and Lon Chaney Jr. in the three main roles? From the poster it looks like Tumak also fought a giant iguana. This is One Million Years B.C.. Chaffey, who directed Jason and the Argonauts three years earlier, and Hammer Films make this adaptation characterless and unimaginative. Despite a good portion of the budget probably going to visual effects it still looks excessively cheap. Harryhausen's creatures do not interact with the live action humans as well as the skeletons fought Jason. The rock people and shell people grunt for what barely passes as a language. The plot involves Tumak (Richardson) being thrown out of his brunette-haired angry tribe, stumbling upon Loana's (Welch) blond-haired "surfer" tribe, stumbling back home with her, and just as the two tribes are about to go to war natural disasters strike. It's all laughably bad. Since I've read part of The Clan of the Cave Bear series, I wish cave dwellers weren't always portrayed as empty headed like this.
themoviewaffler.com
themoviewaffler.com

Super Reviewer

July 17, 2012
If you've never seen the movie I'm sure you've seen the poster. The image of Welch in her fur bikini is one of the most iconic in all pop culture, even playing a part in the plot twist of "The Shawshank Redemption". Apart from her pneumatic figure and Harryhausen's stop-motion creations there's little else to hold your attention though.Those Harryhausen creatures are fantastic however. After the groundbreaking "Jason & the Argonauts", also helmed by Chaffey, this is probably his most impressive work. The foot tall models blend almost seamlessly with the live action with caveman spears bouncing realistically off dinosaur hides. For some reason the producers decided to implement footage of live lizards and turtles alongside the stop-motion beasts. Those scenes look ridiculous in comparison to the ones Harryhausen worked on. Obviously the movie is historically ridiculous but giant turtles living alongside T-Rexes?

While it's no classic, this movie did have some important implications. It's completely dialogue free save for a few caveman grunts. There's also a psychedelic representation of the big bang. Both these elements were no doubt significant in enabling Kubrick to get "2001: A Space Odyssey" made. Had this not been the box-office smash it was I doubt studios would allow a 30 minute opening featuring neanderthals or an LSD style rebirth of man sequence.
If you enjoy cleavage and stop-motion dinosaurs (and what man doesn't love at least one of the two?) then this is definitely worth a look but unfortunately all the meat is on Welch and not the story.
May 13, 2007
This movie was a remake of a 1940's movie. The whole movie is a fantasy where humans and dinosaurs living at the same time. There is no dialog, the actors just grunt at each other. Raquel Welch became famous after being in this movie due to the poster of her in a fur bikini. It started the fad of sexy actress posters that lasted until the 1980's. Ray Harryhausen did the stop motion animation of the dinosaurs. They also had iguanas film in close up to make them look 10 feet tall. All the cave women had perfect figures and clean hair with modern hairdos. The cavemen wore shoes too. When they made the silent film in the 1920's the public didn't know much about dinosaurs and didn't know that they didn't live at the same time as dinosaurs. By the 1960's everybody knew that dinosaurs lived millions of years before humans walked the earth. The movie would have flopped if it hadn't had Raquel Welch in it. Compared to Jurassic Park this movie's special effects are crude. It's not that much more advanced than King Kong. It was still the best they could do in the 1960's.
anthonyzigos
November 28, 2011
This is a great Sixties version of the caveman movie with the beautiful Raquel Welch playing the heroine.
Harryhausen also added some great special effects of dinosaurs and other giant creatures. Of course, the paleontology and anthropology are all mixed up scientifically, since humanoids evolved hundreds of millions of years after the dinosaurs ruled the earth, though with Rachel in the film it doesn't seem to matter that much really. This film must have been great fun in the summer at the drive-in theatre, and it somewhat exceeds its role of being a mere pre-historic fantasy adventure.
January 5, 2011
there were some attractive women living a million years ago, weren't there? the one positive thing I can legitimately say about this movie (aside from Raquel Welch) is for a film with no intelligible dialogue whatsoever, the actors do a pretty decent job telling a story through facial expressions and physical movement. I always had a good idea what was happening. of course, what was happening was always either unbearably dull or saturated in horribly cheesy and dated effects--respect to Harryhausen, but seriously, ouch. this film isn't overly entertaining, and it doesn't really have any kind of discernible point, but there's still something about it I kind of like.
April 16, 2008
This is one of my dad's favorite films just because he thought Rachel Welch was hot running around in a skimpy fur costume.
July 11, 2007
Raquel Welch looks really hot and the claymation dinosaurs are amusing, but otherwise this movie is pretty dull with hardly any discernible dialogue. Also, the film doesn't offer much in the way of a plot. The studio was obviously counting on Raquel's assets to sell this film.
MovieGuruDude72
July 14, 2007
Movie-wise this isn't all that great a movie. But it did produce one of the most iconic sex poses in cinematic history with Raquel Welch in her fuzzy bikini. Second only to Marilyn Monroe's blown up skirt in terms of memorable hotness.
tk7and7is
June 25, 2006
Ray Harryhausen dinosaurs and Raquel Welch in a fur bikini. Consider all adolescent pleasure nodes officially scratched.
May 24, 2014
Come on people it's Raquel Welch wearing practically nothing and dinosaurs! Sure, it's really dumb but the dinosaurs are awesome and, I must repeat, there is Raquel Welch wearing practically nothing. What's not to like?
Sgt. Cockstrain
December 1, 2013
(63%)
One of Hammer's biggest productions (400,000+), and one of their biggest hits and I can see why it made so much money because it fits the big screen so well with fantastic direction and fun effects. Every science fiction fan should watch this as it is one of the finest examples of the pre-historic fantasy sub-genre ever made, and it is also so damn fun to watch.
August 30, 2013
Inaccurate and a bit silly looking, but amazing stop-motion effects and epic caveman story telling. I have no idea why they cheated the first dinosaur out with a giant lizard, but the rest were spectacular. The story is hard to follow, being told through basically non-understandable dialog, it still manages to hold thrills and chills. Raquel Welch may have been the selling point of this film, it's still remarkably fun and quite memorable.
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