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Alvin: Don't get your bra in a twist, fat boy. This has nothing to do with you, so keep out of my way.
Neil: Or what?
Alvin: Or, uh, I'll punch you in boobs.
Neil: I don't have boobs. These are pectorals.
Neil: Ow! My boobs!
Mr. Prenderghast: Tell me you'll do this.
Norman Babcock: I. I.
Mr. Prenderghast: Swear!
Norman Babcock: You mean the F word?
Mr. Prenderghast: I mean, promise!
Sandra Babcock: Y'know, sometimes people say things that seem mean, but they do it because they're afraid.
Norman Babcock: He's my dad. He shouldn't be afraid of me.
Sandra Babcock: He's not afraid OF you, he's afraid FOR you.
Neil: So what do we do now?
Norman Babcock: I... uh... I-I really don't know.
Courtney: Yes you do, Norman. You've got to get to that witch's grave!
Norman Babcock: But-
Courtney: But nothing, you listen to me, buster! We didn't turn away when Daleridge High was slaughtering our volleyball team, did we?
Norman Babcock: I thought we did.
Courtney: No we didn't! I've cheered the uncheerable, Norman, and I'm NOT letting you give up now!
Norman Babcock: Mr. Prenderghast appeared to me in the bathroom.
Neil: Ew.
Norman Babcock: No, his spirit. His says the witch's curse is real and I have to go up to the old graveyard and stop it before the sun sets tonight.
Neil: So... you wanna come play a bit later?
Norman Babcock: Didn't you hear what I just said?
Neil: Yeah, but I thought my idea was the less likely to get us eaten.
Mitch: [after Norman randomly shouted 'The dead are coming!' during the school play] Did he just say the 'dead' are coming?
Perry Babcock: No, no, no, no...
Norman Babcock: Yes! The tree told me! [everyone looks at Neil, who's dressed as a tree]
Sheriff Hooper: It would've been a quiet night too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids!
Aggie: But then, those horrible men came and took me away! [eyes glow] And I never saw her again! [notices a butterfly went into dust, and begins to shed tears and runs toward the tree]
Norman Babcock: Sometimes when people get scared, they say and do terrible things. I think you got so scared that, you forgot who you are, but I don't think you're a witch. Not really.
Aggie: You don't?
Norman Babcock: I just think you're a little kid with a really special gift, who only ever wanted people to understand her.
Norman Babcock: Does anyone know how to pick a lock? [everyone turns and looks at Alvin]
Alvin: Sure. Pickin' locks is my thing.
[breaks door]
Aggie: What about the people who hurt you? Don't you want them to suffer?
Norman Babcock: I thought about that once, but what good would it do?
Neil: You can't stop bullying - it's part of human nature. If you were bigger and more stupid, you'd probably be a bully too. It's called 'survival of the thickest'.
Mr. Prenderghast: Not yet... [laughing] Not yet!
Norman Babcock: Mom...your are embarrassing me.
Sandra Babcock: That's my job.
Sandra Babcock: Not believing in the living dead is like not believing in astronomy...
Neil: So, you wanna play some hockey?
Norman Babcock: Did you not hear what I just said?
Neil: Yeah, but I think my idea is less likly to get us eaten.
Sheriff Hooper: What do you think you're doing firing at civilians? That is for the police to do!
Norman Babcock: This is so unfair. I wish everyone could see what I see. I didn't ask to be born this way...
Perry Babcock: Huh, funny. Neither did we.
Norman Babcock: Everyone in the real world thinks I'm a freak! But you know, maybe they're right! Maybe I am a freak, but I never ask for your help! Just go!
Mitch: Sure. My boyfriend loves chick flicks.
Neil: Hey Norman, Wait Up!
Norman Babcock: I would like to be alone.
Neil: So do I. Lets do it together!
Courtney: So... is he dead, or what?
Perry Babcock: Can't you be like other kids your age?
Norman Babcock: I thought you said kids my age were too busy shoplifting and joyriding.
Courtney: I just knew something like this was going to happen tonight.
Mitch: You did? Wow, cause that zombie bit really threw me.
Norman Babcock: [to a lady that is dead from being hung] How's it hanging?
Neil: You could be a bully too if you were bigger and dumber.
Mitch: [about Norman] You don't need to be hanging around with weird people, okay? That's a tip.
Neil: Don't blow this for me, Mitch. This one's not weird. He talks to dead people.
Neil: So is it true? Can you see ghosts, like, everywhere all the time?
Norman Babcock: Uhh... yeah.
Neil: Awesome! Oh, do you think you can see my dog, Bub? He was ran over by an animal rescue van. Tragic and ironic.
Neil: That statute just pissed at us.
Mitch: That is the sound of not awesome things.
Alvin: Are they going to try to eat our brains?
Norman Babcock: I think you'll be safe.
Neil: You can see ghosts all the time? Awesome!
Grandma: There's nothing wrong with being scared, Norman, as long as it doesn't change who you are.
Mitch: You're gonna love my boyfriend. He's like a total chick-flick nut!
Mr. Prenderghast: Swear!
Norman Babcock: You mean like the F-word?
Neil: You wanna play some hockey?
Courtney: I knew something like this was going to happen!
Mitch: You did? Wow. Because that zombie bit really threw me.
Neil: Don't make me throw this hummus: It's spicy!
Mr. Prenderghast: I was askin' him!
Perry Babcock: Can't you be like other kids your age?