Randomly in the future you'll come upon it late one night on Starz, watch twenty minutes or so, then change the channel.
| Original Score: C
Hackford approaches his task as if he's seen one of the duffer Elmore Leonard movie adaptations of recent years, or at least had one described to him.
| Original Score: 2/5
"Parker" quickly settles into a lurching routine of explosive, predictable set pieces.
| Original Score: **
Parker turns out to be a big letdown as it brings nothing new to the crime thriller genre, and it is not likely to stay with you long after the credits have finished.
| Original Score: 5/10
Oh Jason Statham, will you ever stop making the same movie over and over again?
| Original Score: 2/4
Isn't as fun as we've come to expect from a typical Jason Statham movie, and isn't as classy as we've come to expect from an atypical one.
The performances aren't to blame here, but unfortunately everything else is: bad story, worse script, and useless subplots make "Parker" an action ride for which you won't want a ticket.
Statham is ever-reliable as a leading tough guy, but he gets saddled with the unwinnable task of teaming up with a silly, unnecessary sidekick played by Jennifer Lopez.
As an especial embarrassment, here Jason Statham's superficial manipulability is put in service of corny capering and costuming.
| Original Score: 1.5/4
We like you, Jason. You're perfectly acceptable in near-silent, pseudo-Asian action nonsense. But you, sir, are no Lee Marvin.
| Original Score: 1/5
They make Statham talk too much. And Lopez? Thanks for stripping.
The movie seems to suffer from a misguided attempt to chase the female demo.
| Original Score: 4/10
If Statham harbours ambitions of making a career-defining action thriller, Parker has to be seen as another opportunity lost.
Even adding Jennifer Lopez to the mix in time for her to strip and show off her infamous rear doesn't add much in the way of silver screen sizzle.
The action scenes are crisply directed, brutal, and invigorating. There are several of them and, in the aftermath of two, Parker is left a bloody mess.
| Original Score: 2.5/4
If you've ever wanted to see the camel that's the result of that proverbial horse-building committee, check out Parker -- and the hump, you'll pardon the expression, is the character played by Jennifer Lopez.
The most distinctive thing about "Parker" is its title.
Things get off to a flying start, but you just know your luck isn't going to hold.
Though Parker starts off fairly strong, the action gets more predictable as it meanders toward its conclusion.
| Original Score: C+
This is classic grindhouse material pretending to be something it's not.