Parker Reviews

To get away clean, you have to play dirty.

Very good movie! "Parker" is a thriller made for the thrilling action movies fans and specially, for Jason Statham's fans. It is an enjoyable thriller full of action and violence. The acting was good, the sequences well made and the plot delivery surrounding the robbery was very believable unlike what we see in many similar films. The director Taylor Hackford has done a very good job because the movie amused movie during its entire length. Although the end is quite predictable, the movie contains some interesting twists. The cast is focused on both Jason and JLo. The other actors simply did a fine job. In conclusion, this is a very recommendable movie, specially when you just feel like action, entertainment, a nice city to watch and attractive people like Jason Statham and JLo. Do not expect anything very profound!

Parker is a thief who has an unusual code. He doesn't steal from the poor and hurt innocent people. He is asked to join 4 other guys one of whom is related to a known mobster. They pull off the job flawlessly and Parker wants to part ways with them. But because he refused to join them for another job they try to kill him. They dispose of his body but someone finds him and he is still alive and takes him to the hospital. After recovering he sets out to get back at the ones who tried to kill him, another one of his codes. He learns where they are and poses as a wealthy Texan looking to buy a house. So he hires a Realtor, Leslie Rogers to show him around. He is actually trying to find out where they're holed up. And when he finds it, he sets out on his plan to get them. But when they learn he is alive, they contact the mobster to take care of him. So he sends a killer to take care of him.

Wholly crap another novel adaptation! I was surprised to discover this character was actually the guy Mel Gibson portrayed in 'Payback', that did then ring a bell seeing as the characters in both films are the same, anti heroes. Back then the rights to the character name 'Parker' weren't there apparently.

So the plots to this adaptation and 'Payback/The Hunter' are virtually the same! 'Parker' is betrayed by a gang, shot and left for dead. He then proceeds to spend the entire film going after those who betrayed him. The problem here is the whole film is spread out with absolutely nothing of interest merely to see 'Parker' get revenge at the end. The film only had to be about 30min long and that would sufficed.

The cast is a terrible mistake, every one. Statham is not the guy you want for a supposedly dark noir crime thriller (according to the original source), his presence merely lowers this films intelligence levels and gives everyone the wrong impression before seeing it. You know most people will be expecting a martial arts filled 'Expendables' type flick.

The bad guys don't seem very bad at all, I mean they are not nice but they're hardly hardened criminals. Chiklis as the leader isn't threatening ever, I dunno why but he just looks like he's gonna burst out into slapstick. Another guy looks like a young Jon Cryer which isn't too good and Clifton Collins Jr. who is normally good for a violent nutter is very quiet.

Then we have the car crash that is Lopez, dear lord how does this woman find work in Hollywood?!. She can't act, she's no good in a thriller like this and constantly ruins scenes, she looks like your typical wrinkled, bony, middle aged rich LA residing female with heaps of makeup and hairspray plastered on and all she does in this film is whine. It amuses me when these mega rich stars portray working class characters that are down on their luck, because they have no idea what its like to be in that situation.

Its all very slick and glitzy with the glamorous Florida locations, fancy cars and huge mansions set against a sunkissed sky, you'd think it was a Bond flick. But none of this really seems to fit together well, it all feels bog standard and tired, amazingly generic, even the films poster is drab and uninspiring.

A very mundane below par action film bottom line, no different from many other Statham efforts that have gone directly to DVD, did not pass go and did not collect $200. The whole thing is so utterly pointless, unoriginal and unexciting because apart from the very start and the very end there is nothing happening. 'Parker' simply wonders around breaking in here and there and stealing cars whilst all the while looking highly obvious while he does it.

It`s a total blast of an action film. A crackling, riveting and endlessly enjoyable crime-thriller that pulsates with energy, style and stars. It`s razor-sharp and undeniably cool, the story rounds up some great characters and suspenseful moments that fill in for a great two hours of hard-boiled fun. A hard-hitting and adrenaline-pumping action-packed thrill-ride that never lets up for a minute. It`s a wickedly entertaining and surprisingly smart and delivers plenty of heavy duty fights and shoot outs to satisfy any action fan. A satisfying adaptation to Author, Donald Westlake`s novel. A great movie that`s cool, funny and action-packed and also has great character moments that add depth. Director, Taylor Hackford crafts a fine and explosive crime-thriller, that`s new territory for the veteran director and he delivers in it perfectly. Jason Statham is right on the money, he has all the right moves, charm and wit to make this character work, crafting his and most enjoyable performance yet. Jennifer Lopez is terrific, one of her better performances in the last few years. Michael Chiklis is excellent.

And the verdict is: Michael Chiklis still hasn't given a performance worth watching since he starred in "The Shield". Directed by Taylor Hackford, who actually directed "Ray" (oh, how the mighty have fallen) and starring Jason Statham as the same character he plays in every movie, and Jennifer Lopez playing a sort of love interest character, who reeks of desperation (art imitating life perhaps?) "Parker" is neither a bad nor a good action film, but more so a forgettable one.

OK, so I won't bother with a synopsis here, or a critique of this pretty flimsy storyline, or discuss how Statham and Lopez have absolutely no chemistry, or even touch on Statham's horrid Texas accent, because in all actuality, nobody reading this cares; when a majority of audiences (men primarily) probably paid top box office prices for the sole purpose of catching the shot of Lopez's butt, which had been teased in the trailer. In fact, in the theater where I saw "Parker", soon after the scene in question (which occurs about an hour in) and this is no joke, there was a mass exodus consisting of male audience members, who undoubtedly saw what they came to see and were satisfied enough to go home without any interest in watching Statham do one of his Statham-esque, shoot everybody in the room more times than necessary, endings. So let's talk about that for a second: the rather gratuitous butt scene only lasts for all of a second, in a long shot no less (meaning, from pretty far away). So while you do see her butt in some polka dot underwear, the consensus has to be that if you were one of those who paid 10+ dollars to see this scene in particular, you may come out of "Parker" feeling more than a little cheated...and probably ashamed.

Final Thought: If this is the type of movie that Jennifer Lopez is reduced to starring in, then it is no surprise that when recently confronted by Latin periodicals as to her level of interest in playing Jenni Rivera in the sure to be forthcoming biopic, her answer was resoundingly positive. I'm sorry to break this to all of the J Lo fans out there, but the simple truth is, at this juncture of her life, it would seem that she simply can't afford to turn down ANY ROLE presented to her.

Written by Markus Robinson, Edited by Nicole I. Ashland

Follow me on Twitter @moviesmarkus

Parker is honestly better than I thought it would be, but it's ultimately forgettable. It's no Payback. It's not even Jack Reacher. It has a nice fight sequence and feels far less ridiculous than Statham's normal nonsense, but it just never goes to any kind of unique or entertaining levels to set itself apart.

On the advice of his girlfriend's father, Parker (Statham) reluctantly agrees to lead an unfamiliar crew of five on a heist at the Ohio State Fair. During the job, one of the men makes an error which results in a fair-goers death. While driving away, Melander (Chiklis) tries to convince Parker to take part in a $50 million Palm Beach diamond heist. When Parker refuses, he is shot and left for dead but a passing family discover him and take him to a hospital. As the cops arrive, Parker escapes from the hospital and sets out to find the men who double-crossed him. In Palm Beach, he reluctantly enlists the aid of local estate agent Leslie (Lopez).
In spite of his pun-friendly surname, Taylor Hackford is a respected film-maker, so much so that he's the current president of the Director's Guild of America. I think we were all shocked upon learning that Statham would be working with the man who gave us such award-friendly fare as 'Ray' and 'An Officer & a Gentleman'. Could the action star be entering a new, more serious, stage in his career? After all, the title of his latest film features two syllables; that's one more than most of his movies. Usually he appears in films with mono-syllabic names like 'Crank', 'Safe', and 'Blitz'. 'Thump', 'Crush', and 'Stomp' can only be around the corner.

Hackford starts things off nicely with a well constructed fairground heist. It all goes to hell as soon as Lopez turns up though. The marketing for the film seems to push some imaginary sexual tension between the two leads which never actually materializes in the film itself. Early on we learn that Statham is totally committed to his girlfriend so this ruins any chance of a romantic sub-plot. (Come to think of it, if my girlfriend was Nick Nolte's daughter I wouldn't mess her around either). Lopez' arrival brings a comic element which fits awkwardly with the gritty tone of the film's opening act. The movie starts off like a tough seventies style thriller and ends up resembling something Eddie Murphy might have appeared in during the eighties. Most of the comedy is unintentional though, with the biggest laugh being Lopez' discovery that Statham is English (nobody else was fooled by his terrible Texan accent).
I'll end this review with a quick tip for car thieves: get to Ohio! If this film is to be believed, nobody there ever locks their cars.

Aiming Point Blank at Payback, Jason Statham's clunky latest just can?t manage to take the excitement factor out of park. Squint. Kick. Repeat. In knuckle-dragging blunt-force actioners like Transporter, Crank, and the ensemble Expendables, this has proven to be the Stath's formula for success. Here, however, he's working from a script based on a book by the late great Donald E. Westlake, who's hard-charging literary creation Parker - though a nefarious underworld figure like the actor's other parts - demands a more high-minded, well, kick. The character and source novel Flashfire kinda sorta gets this treatment with Parker, but the adaptation's unfortunately kept firmly in Statham's wheelhouse. Well, at least his formula?s now: Think. Squint. Kick. Repeat.

In this R-rated crime-thriller, a thief with a unique code of ethics (Statham) gets left for dead by a crew, so he assumes a new identity and forms an unlikely alliance with an insider (Lopez) to hijack the double-crossers? latest heist.

The flick's not a dumbing down of Westlake so much as a dressing down of Statham's lunk-headed on-screen persona. Still, whatever happened to the more capable actor who handled grit, spot, and wit so well in Guy Ritchie's Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch? Squint. Kick. Repeat. That's what. Granted, Burt Reynolds managed the same career with a stock of chewing gum and a muscle car but at least he gave off sparks with his co-stars. Jennifer Lopez still holds some Out of Sight-style potential but the chemistry barely sizzles even under Taylor Hackford?s very capable direction.

Bottom line: The blank job.

Gotta say I've seen better from Statham. As always though, Statham comes through with a top-notch performance with his delivery, but there is some weak acting outside of his performance. Jennifer Lopez, though stunning, is too comically written and the heist compatriots are given such little to say, their actions speak louder than their words, which is boring. It's up and down with the action. It's too spaced out with filler storyline that pauses the important plot moves too long. Hopefully the next action movie Statham puts out is a better effort from the whole crew.

Not a very good movie. Statham never goes really crazy here, so there's lots of wasted potential. The only reason why I'm giving this 1 and a half stars is because it's partially filmed in New Orleans, and there's a scene set in One Eyed Jacks in which Statham beats up a bouncer and shoots another guy, all while some crappy metal band plays. I just thought that was cool. Not enough to save this from being utterly mediocre for the rest of its runtime, but that one scene was cool.

Action packed from beginning to end and even though I expected the action, I still jumped and gasped when some of the attacks happened. Loved the little bit of humor injected into it that ot some chuckles. I would see this again and probably will when it comes home on Pay Per View. It was good to see him play a faithful man to Claire too.

This movie was awesome, ignore the critics rating. Hope they make a 2nd one where Jason Statham and Jennifer Lopez get together.

"I don't drink coffee after seven" - Parker

Fairly entertaining, a cross between Kill Bill with a little Robin Hood tossed in.

Fairly entertaining, but not a must see - Easily can wait till it is out on NetFlix!

A solid crime film expertly anchored by the unlikely pairing of Jason Statham and Jennifer Lopez. A classic Donald Westlake revenge movie, the film is the first to be allowed to use the character's real name from the novels. Parker, a high-end heist expert, is hired to plan and execute a $1 million robbery from the Ohio State Fair. He has two simple standards: stand by your word and do not harm innocent civilians. One of the four thieves Parker is working with violates the second rule by setting a fire in the wrong place that kills a fair goer and all of the thieves violate the first when Parker refuses to donate his share to carry out an even larger score later on. Although he nearly foils the assault, they shoot him and leave him for dead . . . a very bad idea. The rest of the movie is Parker's revenge on the double crossers. He is joined in Palm Beach by a real estate agent (Jennifer Lopez) who becomes a part of his plan. Well-directed by Taylor Hackford and well written by John McLaughlin. Underrated by the critics.

Wow, I am at a loss for words!
I think J. Statham is great action star and J. Lo still has the booty (that stock price is falling fast though), but this STINKY THING was a waste of TWO HOURS! BTW, Taylor, this is not Tom Clancy material, you could have wrapped this stupid thing in under 79 minutes for sure. I don't know Taylor Hackford, but the direction was clunky and unpolished, much like the script and every frame of this stupid, stupid, stupid, boring movie.
I wish I would have painted my neighbors fence for free instead of watching this #%$%@........SO FREAKIN DUMB and BORING !

Has about 45 minutes to an hour of a very good crime/heist flick with Statham performing surprisingly decently as the titular character, made iconic by Lee Marvin in the masterpiece Point Blank and memorable (in some circles) by Mel Gibson in Payback. The story is still kinda familiar if one has seen the other major Parker movies - Parker does a job, gets screwed over by his partners in crime, and now wants payback. But instead of being an adaptation of 'The Hunter' as those other films, this claims to be an adaptation of... I forget the title right now, yet it still retains that feel of being the usual Parker flavor in the first half. Which, actually, is okay since Hackford direct these scenes and this set-up with some excitement and some dark humor, and Statham can be compelling even when he's just, like, speaking (as opposed to his usual beating up people like a superhero). But when it gets to the Jennifer Lopez plotline about halfway through, she's a) miscast, and b) just not that important to the story, until maybe later on in the tale. This could have been cut down and given to a younger actress and it might have worked much better. As it is, I just couldn't really take Lopez seriously (for the most part, some scenes she's okay), and it detracted from the rest of the heist in Palm Springs and the revenge unfolding. It's sometimes better than it has any right to be, and disappointing in how it could have been better - probably not 'great' at any time, and with some shots Hackford just seemed to want to take in Palm Beach locales as opposed to the actors. I wish it just weren't so darn 'cute' for much of the second half, where it turns into a wacky buddy-comedy when its not still a super-violent spectacle. I'm still waiting on the day when a filmmaker can rise to the challenge of artistically getting up to what Boorman did with the first Parker flick. This time around as the first "official" film (author Donald Westlake didn't allow the name to be used officially, and now he's dead so whatever), Hackford via the Hollywood machine keeps some of the grit intact, but also is diluted by Lopez and a tonal shift that's too jarring.

A really quite entertaining action/crime capers movie which almost becomes a pretty good character piece, too.

A typical Jason Statham action movie...boy he takes a beat-down in this one. Not a completely predictable storyline. Jo Lo's character is low-key. The door is open for....I won't write it, lol. In theatres Fri. 1/25.

the film was a little slow but it picked up quick...i think a diff. co-star for him would have made all the difference.shes no good as a victim or a action movie! don't hate mail me! i love her but in love stories and the wedding planner,thats the element.