Paul Quotes

The top Paul quotes selected by the Rotten Tomatoes community. Login to submit a quote!

  • Graeme Willy:
    How can I understand you; are you using some sort of neuro-language router?
    Paul:
    Or, maybe I'm speaking English, you fucking idiot!
    ‐ Submitted by Diego T (2 years ago)

  • Graeme Willy:
    Why would Jesus want to shoot Charles Darwin?
    ‐ Submitted by Tom D (2 years ago)

  • Moses Buggs:
    The Good Lord is the only doctor she'll ever need.
    Agent Zoil:
    Copy that!
    ‐ Submitted by Tom D (2 years ago)

  • Graeme Willy:
    No, no he's not evil, he's just a bit rude.
    ‐ Submitted by Tom D (2 years ago)

  • Gus:
    You guys should of givin her four tits
    Graeme Willy:
    That's just sick!
    ‐ Submitted by Connor N (2 years ago)

  • Adam Shadowchild Fan:
    Can you sign my book?
    Adam Shadowchild:
    Did you write it?
    Adam Shadowchild Fan:
    No.
    Adam Shadowchild:
    Then fuck off.
    ‐ Submitted by Connor N (2 years ago)

  • Paul:
    You'll know it when you see it.
    ‐ Submitted by open 7 (2 years ago)

  • Paul:
    Clive likes boning space bears!
    ‐ Submitted by Max K (2 years ago)

  • Graeme Willy:
    Are you an alien?
    Paul:
    To you I am, yes.
    Graeme Willy:
    Are you gonna probe us
    Paul:
    Why does everyone always assume that, what am I doing? Am a harvesting farts?
    ‐ Submitted by Miles F (2 years ago)

  • Paul:
    Yo fuck nuts, its probing time.
    ‐ Submitted by Melissa D (3 years ago)

  • Agent Zoil:
    Three tits, that's awesome!
    ‐ Submitted by Dave M (3 years ago)

  • Paul:
    What's new, fatty?
    Clive Gollings:
    It's not fat, Paul, it's power. So rude!
    ‐ Submitted by Dave M (3 years ago)

  • Agent Zoil:
    Call me Lorenzo.
    Clive Gollings:
    Lorenzo Zoil?
    ‐ Submitted by Lorenzo V (3 years ago)

  • Clive Gollings:
    There's a Alien in the back making bagels and coffee!
    Graeme Willy:
    Why you want tea?
    ‐ Submitted by Caitlin B (3 years ago)

  • Paul:
    It's pretty strong shit, I got it from the military, actually. This is the stuff that killed Dylan.
    Graeme Willy:
    Bob Dylan's not dead.
    Paul:
    Isn't he?
    ‐ Submitted by Alejandro O (3 years ago)

  • Paul:
    I'm not gonna eat a DEAD bird, am I?
    ‐ Submitted by Diego T (3 years ago)

  • Clive Gollings:
    What if we wake up and find him inserting a probe into our ANUS?
    Graeme Willy:
    Apparently they don't do that.
    ‐ Submitted by Diego T (3 years ago)

  • Paul:
    Oh yeah! Then how do you explain me? [coming out of the bathroom and making Ruth faint]
    ‐ Submitted by Baurushan J (3 years ago)

  • Paul:
    Hello, I'm Paul. [Clive faints]
    ‐ Submitted by Baurushan J (3 years ago)

  • Paul:
    This is America; kidnapping a Christian? That's worse than harboring a fugitive!
    ‐ Submitted by Nicholas L (3 years ago)

  • Paul:
    Well it's safe to say we've all learned something from this, be yourself, speak from your heart, some shit like that...
    ‐ Submitted by Carly W (3 years ago)

  • Paul:
    This spaceship takes off really slowly. It's a little awkward.
    ‐ Submitted by Carly W (3 years ago)

  • Agent Zoil:
    Nerds, huh?
    O'Reilly:
    Yes, they wen to Comic-Con. They met Adam Shadowchild.
    Agent Zoil:
    Who the hell's Adam Shadowchild?
    ‐ Submitted by Dave M (3 years ago)

  • Clive Gollings:
    I'm starving.
    Paul:
    What's new, fatty?
    Clive Gollings:
    It's not fat, Paul. It's power. You're so rude.
    ‐ Submitted by Dave M (3 years ago)

  • Paul:
    Stoke the fire!
    ‐ Submitted by Reed H (3 years ago)

  • Clive Gollings:
    They are going to rape us and break our arms!
    Graeme Willy:
    I don't want my arms broke!
    ‐ Submitted by Tim H (3 years ago)

  • Clive Gollings:
    Get your own alien.
    ‐ Submitted by Buchi C (3 years ago)

  • Paul:
    [sings] Clive likes boning space bears!
    ‐ Submitted by Carly W (3 years ago)

  • Paul:
    [after getting frisked inappropriately by O'Reilly] Get your goddamn hands off my motherfuckin' junk!
    ‐ Submitted by Carly W (3 years ago)

  • Paul:
    I'm not gonna eat a dead bird, am I?
    ‐ Submitted by Alejandro O (3 years ago)

  • Graeme Willy:
    Are you gonna probe us?
    Paul:
    Why does everyone always assume that?! What am I doing? harvesting farts?! How much can I learn from an ass?!
    ‐ Submitted by Rory R (4 years ago)

  • Paul:
    Why are we holding hands?
    Graeme Willy:
    So we look like a family. Just a couple of regular guys, walking down the street, with a small cowboy.
    ‐ Submitted by Ruben V (4 years ago)

  • Robbed Woman:
    My weed!
    ‐ Submitted by Philip H (4 years ago)

  • Paul:
    Yo Fuck nuts! It's Probing time!
    ‐ Submitted by Cailum R (4 years ago)

  • Paul:
    It's not like I set my phaser to faint!
    ‐ Submitted by Jake L (4 years ago)

  • Paul:
    Get your hand of my space junk.
    ‐ Submitted by Lee L (4 years ago)

  • Graeme Willy:
    But your talking to us! Are you using some alien power to translate our languages so we can understand each other!?
    Paul:
    NO! IM SPEAKING FUCKING ENGLISH!!
    ‐ Submitted by James S (4 years ago)

  • Adam Shadowchild:
    Three tits? Awesome!
    ‐ Submitted by Adri P (4 years ago)

  • Ruth Buggs:
    Thank's Dick Milk
    ‐ Submitted by Cosmic R (4 years ago)

  • Graeme Willy:
    You are an alien!
    Paul:
    To you I am, yes.
    Graeme Willy:
    Are you gonna probe us?
    Paul:
    Why does everyone always assume that? What am I doing? Harvesting farts? How much can I learn from an ass?
    ‐ Submitted by Kayla D (4 years ago)

  • Paul:
    [to two rednecks] Hey fucknuts! Probing time.
    ‐ Submitted by rob g (4 years ago)

  • Paul:
    [Paul is posing on the couch as Graeme prepares to draw him] Are you gonna draw me like your French girls, Jack? [blows a kiss]
    ‐ Submitted by rob g (4 years ago)

  • Paul:
    It's probing time, fucknuts.
    ‐ Submitted by Facebook U (4 years ago)

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