| Original Score: 1/5
| Original Score: C+
| Original Score: 1/4
The Black Friday setting suggests that this was meant to be a holiday release, but it's not hard to see why the studio dumped this suckfest in January.
| Original Score: 1/6
Once you've seen about the first 20 minutes of the movie, you've got a sense of what all of the jokes were going to be.
James gives it everything he's got, totally committing to the character and delivering clean comedy which often times is often more difficult than creating just a raunch-fest.
The last name Blart may be the funniest thing in the movie, so that's a hint as to just how bad this shopping-center saga can be.
| Original Score: 1.5/4
It's surprisingly okay, in a January kind of way.
| Original Score: 2.5/4
As cheapo larks go, it's a winningly unassuming one: no stars, no big action set pieces. Just a fat guy, a near-empty mall, and a lot of really ridiculous ideas.
It's just not particularly funny. That Segway, alas, only goes so far.
| Original Score: 2/4
I suppose the food equivalent would be that nacho cheese that comes in a can with little chunks of jalapeño mixed in.
Directed by Steve Carr, a man who knows how to put a camera in front of things, if little else, and written, sort of, by Nick Bakay and Mr. James.
It's a juvenile motion picture designed primarily for a juvenile audience. But there's a little more here than one might reasonably expect.
Laughs occasionally ensue.
Perfectly inoffensive and almost entirely unfunny.
| Original Score: 2/5
[The film] oo often settles for easy, lazy jokes, most of which revolve around either food or running into stuff.
James, at his best when he lets loose, plays his character a little too straight and so loses some of the movie's comic potential.
Sensationally stupid, haphazardly made and qualifying as unmitigated trash by any standards, Paul Blart: Mall Cop also manages to be consistently hilarious, thanks to star Kevin James.
| Original Score: B
To call this Kevin James comedy fatuous might be misinterpreted as an attack on the star's girth -- so how about inane, tepid, lazy, puerile, phony, and unfunny?
It's unlikely that even WALL-E could bring himself to scoop up this movie and leave it on his post-apocalyptic junk heap.
| Original Score: 0.5/4
A senseless Hollywood comedy.
[Has] such obviously humble intentions that busting on it is a bit like harassing the junior high school outcast who just wants to eat his tater tots in peace.
The film is completely forgettable, frequently funny and weirdly satisfying in a Jersey Loser Gets Respect kind of way.
Paul Blart: Mall Cop is a slapstick comedy with a hero who is a nice guy. I thought that wasn't allowed anymore.
| Original Score: 3/4
Give this to Paul Blart: Mall Cop: It delivers on everything it promises. Which is to say, nearly nothing.
Somewhere beneath its mediocre comedic trappings, there's a decent action movie trying to fight its way free.
[James] plays yet another misfit, but one who's so two-dimensional, needy (and frankly annoying) that it's difficult to root for him.
Like the movie's sad-sack hero, this comedy never comes close to achieving its real potential.
The thin comic appeal of Kevin James is laid on a bit thicker in Paul Blart: Mall Cop, his first solo star vehicle for the big screen.
An almost shockingly amateurish one-note-joke comedy on which the star also shares writing and producing credit.
[Kevin James] proves to be a warm leading man who grounds the movie as it morphs into a loopy heist thriller after a promising start as something entirely different: a gentle comedy of suburban underachievement.