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Piranha 3DD Reviews

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boxman
boxman

Super Reviewer

October 29, 2012
Wow, I was not expecting the follow-up to the so-bad-it's-excellent Piranha 3D to pretty much just inhabit the "so bad" spectrum, though I ignored warning signs at my own risk. I found the 2010 Piranha to be a sheer blast of campy entertainment, with some world-class gore effects and a game cast. I was actually terribly excited about a sequel; I'm ashamed to admit it now. Where did things go so horribly wrong? Much like Expendables 2, the movie's tone shifts from tongue-in-cheek 80s throwback to meta self-awareness. The movie becomes more of a lousy comedy with some absurd violence rather than a horror movie with a nasty sense of humor. The entire premise is so labored, that a water park would become piranha-infested, and the characters are so unlikable; to dub them one-dimensional is to be too kind. The acting is abysmal even by bottom-of-the-barrel B-movie standards. The celebrity cameos feel wasted, with David Hasselhoff soaking up every second of desperation. The tension is next to nil and the gore effects are pretty cheesy, trading gallons of blood for ingenuity (many character deaths occur off screen, like Gary Busey's). Then once the piranhas strike, the movie just completely abandons any sense of reality and becomes a gonzo comedy of the absurd, with characters behaving like idiots from another dimension. There's even one character that gets decapitated by a simple string of flags. It's at this point that Piranha 3DD drops any slapped-together sense of purpose. And yet this ghoulish mess can only barely make it to a scant 70 minutes (good luck getting through the abominably unfunny end credits outtakes). Reportedly, 3DD had almost the same budget of 3D. Where the hell did that money go? Piranha 3DD completely misfires on every level, failing as a horror movie, a horror-comedy, a comedy, a gore movie, hell, as a suitable movie. Whatever the metric, this movie blows. If you're hard-pressed for gratuitous nudity soaked in blood, watch the superior 2010 Piranha film instead. I'm going to start drinking heavily and forget I ever looked forward to this monstrosity on taste.

Nate's Grade: D
Dean !

Super Reviewer

May 26, 2011
Really bad and I don't know where the 82min run time is as the credits come up after just 68mins!! The first was quite a good tongue in cheeky, B-movie horror comedy that had some thought put into it. This is a quick cash in, not funny, gory or even sexy considering the title. Avoid it.
Josh L

Super Reviewer

September 7, 2012
I actually thought this was about as entertaining as the first one, albeit just a rehash of all the elements that made the original so much fun. That's the reason for the point drop, but I'd still recommend it to anyone who liked the original and waited for the sequel like I did. It's just hilarious and a ton of fun!
LorenzoVonMatterhorn
LorenzoVonMatterhorn

Super Reviewer

August 1, 2012
"Double D's get in for free!"

After the events at Lake Victoria, the pre-historic school of blood-thirsty piranhas make their way into a newly opened waterpark.

REVIEW
Piranha 3DD starts with a short recap of the disastrous happenings of Piranha 3D before plunging us into the toothsome little devils' latest escapade - mayhem in a water park. There is some backstory, but it really doesn't matter - all that matters are the sporadic chompings of individuals leading up to the wholesale slaughter which comprises the final section. For those who saw the first movie, there is little to surprise them here - a moderate amount of nudity, a huge amount of gore, a cast of unknowns, and a scattering of cameos (Christopher Lloyd and Ving Rhames made return visits). There is an attempt to recapture the gleeful sleazy trashiness of its predecessor, although I felt it tried a bit too hard, and lost some of the innocent sense of fun to be had among the severed penis sequences (and, yes, I am quite aware of how ludicrous that sentence sounds). Making up for everything, though, is a wonderfully funny and self-deprecating performance from David Hasselhoff - the Hoff lampoons his own perceived pomposity mercilessly and with pinpoint accuracy. There are some highly entertaining outtakes scattered through the closing credits.
TheDudeLebowski65
TheDudeLebowski65

Super Reviewer

June 1, 2012
John Gulager's sequel to Piranha 3D is an awful mess from beginning to end. Considering that he helmed the Feast franchise, which was a great horror comedy franchise, this is a dreadful film with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. If you're looking for excessive amounts of nudity with no story, then this is your film. As for me, I'm actually getting tired of these films because there's no real pay off. What this one delivers is a poorly written film with no good plot or acting. This was just made to make money, and the filmmakers clearly didn't care about making a thrilling, consistent film that was loads of fun. If this was supposed to be fun, I wasn't having any. John Gulager should stick to directing his original ideas for films; he succeeded in delivering the goods with the Feast series, which was one of the most original horror trilogies to come out in the genre in quite some time. However, with this, he delivers one of the worst horror films since Shark Night. This film was just awful, and to say that the 2010 remake was better, even though it was a bad film makes you question how bad this film really is. If you're looking for a great nature gone wild film, or a good sequel for that matter; you won't find it here. This is simply put horror at its worst. Don't waste your time on this film, as you'll likely be disappointed. Considering that John Gulager directed this, you'd expect some mindless fun, but it certainly didn't deliver in that department, and I hope that Gulager's next project will redeem himself of this train wreck.
Everett J

Super Reviewer

June 16, 2012
Sequel to the 2010 horror/Comedy, "Pirahna 3D" that takes this to a whole new level with Double D's. Story is the same, just in a water park. Prehistoric piranhas attack a community killing everyone in the water, especially teenagers who like to have sex. Christopher Lloyd and Ving Rhames both return, along with new members David Hasselhoff and Gary Busey. It's absolute bloody, gory, good fun(with lots of boobies). The type of flick you can't take seriously even if you tried. But, it's great for a laugh and to get lost for a couple hours. Also, has a scene that will make you never skinny dip again, I promise. If blood ain't your thing, then stay away.
Phil H

Super Reviewer

June 12, 2012
On one front this film does exactly what it says on the tin, its a creature feature boasting no more than soft porn and mindless killing via nasty sharp toothed fish. If you enjoy this type of film then you will possibly enjoy this 'comedy' horror, there is nothing to explain as its entirely obvious all the way through.

On the other front you could also look at this as yet another completely pointless waste of money and time which offers absolutely zilch originality in any department.

Personally I enjoy creature features but this is pretty much bottom of the barrel stuff that wasn't needed and drags down the genre's good image. Its completely a rehash/rerun of the first film (almost identical for gods sake) that offers terrible effects both real and cgi coupled with lame vanilla 'porn' which only teenagers would find sexy.

Comedy horror? no, not at tall, not even remotely amusing. Although it does amuse me how the makers couldn't decide what they wanted it to be. It does start off as a reasonably sensible creature horror but totally deteriorates into a spoof towards the end, I half expected Leslie Nielsen to pop up, quite bizarre frankly.

Yes it delivers more pointless flesh eating goldfish which some may want but ultimately the film is so badly made, so trashy with dreadful...everything! Quite simply if you wanna see tits n ass just watch some porn, why bother watching this nonsense?
The only half decent thing was Hasselhoff enjoying a laugh at his own expense. The 'Baywatch' spoofing could easily be a fun film on its own, just drop the shitty piranha plot and you could have a winner.
Luke B

Super Reviewer

June 9, 2012
I expected worse and that's what I got. Luckily for my wonderful self, I had recently watched the likes of 2 Headed-Shark Attack. After that film, this was bound to seem like a classic, so forgive me if I gush. A year after the events of the last film the Piranhas have found there way into underground waterways. This leads them to gradually descend upon a recently opened adult swimming pool. The film does try too hard at points. It really attempts to make itself a pastiche rather than just a bit silly. Rhames comes back with metal gun legs, just so he can start shooting. Hasselhoff plays himself, and is actually the runaway star, but what should have been an extended cameo becomes a major role. Piranha 3DD also sets up lengthy jokes, that are kind of funny but not entirely worth the effort. For example a Piranha swims up a girls vagina, and later has sex with her boyfriend, and you can imagine the rest. But this joke is spread out over 20 minutes. Still, I was never bored, I laughed at the absurdity, and it was all harmless fun. Especially at 82 minutes.
KJ P

Super Reviewer

September 24, 2011
Um, this has got to be one of the worst films to be directed in years. This film tries way too hard to do what "Piranha 3D" did so well, which is create a fun story, while still poking fun at the fact that it is a horror/comedy. I had so much fun with the previous instalment, because the movie knew what it was trying to do and did it in such an awesome way. This film takes all the fun out of everything, creating one pointless setup after another. Most of the movie makes absolutely no sense, the dialogue is dreadful, the camerawork is awkward, and the editing/score is so badly done that it becomes annoying. There are very few things to take from this film, so few that I will not even mention them. Stay as far away from this film as you can. This is THE worst film of the year so far and probably one of the worst films that I have ever seen. There are much worse films out there, but quite honestly, there is no way that they could have made this film any worse than it is. "Piranha 3DD" is so bad that you can have a nice giggle at it, that is fun, I guess?
Tyler R

Super Reviewer

June 2, 2012
This movie isn't even worth a decent lengthen review. The only pattern the movie follows is this: Piranhas, boring dialogue scenes, gratuitous nudity, boring dialogue, more piranhas and then repeat for a whole hour and a half. It's absurdly cheesy, horribly acted (not even Christopher Lloyd was good enough) repetitive, full of poor CGI, and it's just a downright terrible spoof of the first Piranha movie. (I know it's suppose to be a sequel but it came off as a Wayans Brothers spoof.)
Tyler C

Super Reviewer

June 1, 2012
A sequel so bad, that I couldn't even accept the insanely over-the-top camp that it contains. At least in Piranha 3D it was fully self-aware of what it was trying to do, but this direct-to-DVD executed trainwreck functions as a braindead, MadTV parody with absolutely no life to it. Only reason I don't rate this a zero is b/c of Ving Rhames and Gary Busey.
Shawn M

Super Reviewer

May 9, 2012
I FAIL to see what was SO WRONG with this movie, I enjoyed it. Lloyd and The Hoff stole the show!! Great to see them in todays day in a dope old school type flick. Typical plot but hey, they done it well enough to keep me watching and applauding. was lacking something, but i still liked it a lot.
themoviewaffler.com
themoviewaffler.com

Super Reviewer

May 12, 2012
Gorehounds have the "Saw" films, found footage freaks have the "Paranormal Activity" series but what about us fans of monster movies? When a sequel to Alexandre Aja's fantastically fun "Piranha 3D" was announced it seemed we just might have our own franchise. After all if they stick to the winning formula set down by the Frenchman how could it not succeed? Sadly it's first (and I suspect last) sequel simply Doesn't Deliver. It usually takes the fifth movie (Halloween 5, A Nightmare On Elm Street 5) for a horror series to hit the sort of lows presented here.
Aja declined helming the sequel but come on, how hard can it be to keep this going? Quite hard as evidenced by the creative team behind the "Feast" series who now take the reigns. This bears no resemblance to Aja's film whatsoever, in fact it's basically a Wayans brothers style spoof of it's predecessor. Horror fans will be disgusted. I suspect this movie is what film snobs imagine every horror film to be. Gulager can't direct to save his life, I suspect if he wasn't the son of cult actor John Gulager he wouldn't have a career at all. The script is horrible, full of crude toilet humour and sex jokes. While it's prequel raised smiles for anyone who grew up renting schlock videos in the eighties, this seems aimed squarely at the "Jackass" generation.
The budget would appear significantly reduced, the final set piece is really just set around a swimming pool. Don't expect any of the "Final Destination" meets "Saving Private Ryan" Grand Guignol Aja so delightfully gave us, this just consists of actors running around in the background while nothing actually happens. While watching the first film my jaw was agape at just how well Aja understood his material. My jaw was agape throughout this film for all the wrong reasons.
I've spoken before about how much I hate that recent trend, the celebrity cameo. Particularly annoying were Mike Tyson in "The Hangover" and Bill Murray in "Zombieland". The casting of Hasselhoff here is the lowest of the low. The scary thing is he's actually the best thing in the damn film.
If you loved "Piranha 3D" as much as I did you'll of course be tempted to check this out. DDon't!
Christopher H

Super Reviewer

September 3, 2011
"Piranha 3DD" basically abandons any real attempt at any genre by completely dropping any glimpse of what made the first film even somewhat tolerable. I mentioned how the first remake, "Piranha 3D" was borderline pornography (which should have simply gone full-fledged), but instead, the sequel drops even that concept, as well as the interesting, yet questionable casting of Adam Scott and Elizabeth Shue, for tongue-in-cheek actors like Gary Busey and David Hasselhoff. Never could I have imagined that a film could get any worse than "Piranha 3D", but consider me corrected.
Sylvester K

Super Reviewer

August 26, 2013
So much worse than the first film, but somewhat better than the sequel of the original. Filled with good looking actors but there is not a single brain being spotted. The amount of disgusting sex and nudity is ridiculous too, I had to basically fast-forward half of the film. I really didn't enjoy this sequel, what a waste of money.
Maymay A

Super Reviewer

February 8, 2013
Worst thing I've seen on the big screen. Total sucker. The whole movie was its own blooper.
Francisco  G.
Francisco G.

Super Reviewer

September 3, 2012
After the goofy and fun Piranha 3D I was expecting something way crazier than this. It's just a really boring and uninspired movie that leaves the best for last and even that doesn't top the last set piece of the 2010 remake, despite having The Hoff in it. Complete retarded characters that aren't funny or likeable, unispired gory moments run ammock, heck even repetitions of piranhas on penises show up again (with underwhelming effects...). It has it's moments but they're too little to save this mess. Even the scale of the whole thing feels way smaller than the original, go figure.
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