Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest Reviews

All of it evidently based on another notion, that great length equals great importance.

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This is strictly popcorn fare, only this time around the popcorn has grown a little stale.

Full Review | Original Score: 2.5/4

If I have to watch one more pirate shriek in horror at a giant yet imaginary tentacle waving in his face, I'll drive a fork into my wooden leg.

| Original Score: C

The kind of sensory bombardment that replicates less a Disney theme-park ride than an extended stay at a Guantánamo base cell

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Even for a sequel, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest takes the practice of double-dipping to extreme depths.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/4

That's how these movies make me feel: a little dazzled and amused, but not in any kind of special or memorable way.

Full Review | Original Score: C+

Slapstick pirates. What happened to gay Jack Sparrow? Depp sells out his most famous character.

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The problem with the Pirates films, and with this one more than the first, is that there's not a genuine moment in them -- no point of human contact...they're baldly concocted, confected, engineered.

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It gives the audience what it wants, but this time the attitude feels deflated, and the end product lacks a good sense of rum-drunk playfulness.

Full Review | Original Score: C+

It's a pretty joyless ride, even with all the CGI wizardry a quarter of a billion bucks can buy.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5

Cries of 'Yo ho yo ho' could be replaced with calls for someone to walk the plank after the experience of sitting through this mind-numbing sequel.

Full Review | Original Score: C+

This chest is overfilled with exposition and physical comedy, without a doubloon's worth of the scary suspense that made the laughs in the first one such brilliant comic relief.

| Original Score: 2.5/4

Overblown to the point of monotony, the second installment in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" franchise is a prime example of too much money and not enough story.

Full Review | Original Score: C

Even more cartoonish than the original film from 2003 -- a difficult feat to achieve -- this second installment in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, often feels like a live-action version of a Road Runner-Wile E. Coyote extravaganza.

I was worn down by the excess.

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We get far too little of Depp and far too much of the sober, stagnant Orlando Bloom.

Full Review | Original Score: 2.5/4

As you'd expect from a sequel, everything that made the original interesting is amplified to within an inch of its life.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/4

This movie is the very definition of water torture.

Full Review | Original Score: 4/10

Two hours into this 150-minute behemoth, the worst fears of most moviegoers are confirmed. It's essentially a teaser for the next Pirates flick.

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Yo Ho Hum

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