• R, 1 hr. 32 min.
  • Comedy
  • Directed By:
    John Hughes
    In Theaters:
    Nov 25, 1987 Wide
    On DVD:
    Nov 21, 2000
  • Paramount Pictures

Planes, Trains and Automobiles Quotes

The top Planes, Trains and Automobiles quotes selected by the Rotten Tomatoes community. Login to submit a quote!

    1. Del Griffith: Well Marie, once again my dear, you where as right as rain. I am, with out a doubt, the biggest pain in the butt that ever came down the pike. I meet someone who's company I really enjoy, and what do I do? I go overboard. I smother the poor soul. I cause him more trouble than he has a right to. God, I got a big mouth. When am I ever gonna wake up? I wish you were here with me right now. But... I guess that's not gonna happen. Not now, anyway.
    – Submitted by David E (9 months ago)
    1. Del Griffith: I know you don't I? I'm usually very good with names, but I'll be damned if I haven't forgotten yours.
    2. Neal Page: You stole my cab.
    3. Del Griffith: I never stole anything in my life.
    4. Neal Page: I hailed a cab on Park Avenue this afternoon and, before I could get in it, you stole it.
    5. Del Griffith: You're the guy who tried to get my cab. I knew I knew you! You scared the bejesus out of me. Come to think of it - it was easy to get a cab during rush hour.
    – Submitted by David E (9 months ago)
    1. Del Griffith: Six bucks and my right nut says we're not landing in Chicago.
    – Submitted by David E (9 months ago)
    1. Neal Page: Del, what are you still doing here? Why aren't you going home?
    2. Del Griffith: I... I don't have a home. Marie's been dead for eight years.
    – Submitted by David E (9 months ago)
    1. Screaming Driver: Holy shit! Look at that guy on the other side of the road; he's gonna kill somebody!
    – Submitted by David E (9 months ago)
    1. Screaming Driver: Put your window down!
    2. Neal Page: He wants something.
    3. Del Griffith: Ah, he's probably drunk.
    4. Screaming Driver: You're going the wrong way!
    5. Neal Page: What?!
    6. Screaming Driver: You're going the wrong way!
    – Submitted by David E (9 months ago)
    1. Del Griffith: We were robbed!
    2. Neal Page: Do you think so?
    – Submitted by David E (9 months ago)
    1. Neal Page: You're messing with the wrong guy!
    – Submitted by David E (9 months ago)
    1. Car Rental Agent: How may I help you?
    2. Neal Page: You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can get me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick, four fucking wheels and a seat!
    3. Car Rental Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
    4. Neal Page: And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car...right...fucking...now.
    – Submitted by Cody H (21 months ago)
    1. Del Griffith: You play with your balls a lot.
    2. Neal Page: I do NOT play with my balls.
    3. Del Griffith: Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!
    4. Neal Page: Are you trying to start a fight?
    5. Del Griffith: No. I'm simply stating a fact. That's all. You fidget with your nuts a lot.
    – Submitted by Jamie D (22 months ago)
    1. Del Griffith: I knew I knew ya!
    – Submitted by Nik M (2 years ago)
    1. Del Griffith: Oh, man. Oh yeah. My dogs are barking.
    – Submitted by Moe J (2 years ago)
    1. Neal Page: ...Del? Why did you kiss my ear?
    2. Del Griffith: ...Why are you holding my hand?
    3. Neal Page: ...Where's your OTHER hand?
    4. Del Griffith: ...Between two pillows...
    5. Neal Page: ...Those aren't pillows!
    6. Del Griffith: Aaaaaahhh!
    – Submitted by Sam C (2 years ago)
    1. Neal Page: [riding in back of pickup truck in freezing cold] What do you think the temperature is?
    2. Taxi racer: One.
    – Submitted by Rob M (2 years ago)
    1. Del Griffith: You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right. I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me. I'm not changing. I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.
    – Submitted by Rocky F (2 years ago)
    1. Del Griffith: I haven't been home in years.
    – Submitted by Lavinia H (3 years ago)
    1. Del Griffith: You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right. I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me. I'm not changing. I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.
    – Submitted by Christian S (3 years ago)
    1. Neal Page: He says we're going the wrong way.
    2. Del Griffith: Oh, he's drunk. How would he know where we're going?
    – Submitted by Anthony W (3 years ago)
    1. Neal Page: Where's your other hand?
    2. Del Griffith: Between two pillows.
    3. Neal Page: Those aren't pillows!
    – Submitted by Juan C (3 years ago)

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