An own-goal shambles of bland characterization, comic shtick, exes-still-in-love clichés and lazy implausibilities, Playing For Keeps plays down to the ugliest American stereotype of soccer-dull to the point of brain-death.
Did Gerard really leave the UK and a guaranteed pundit spot on Match of the Day for an automatous son and callous wife? Playing for Keeps asks difficult questions like these but provides no satisfying answers.
Hitting our screens on New Year's Day, let's cross our fingers and hope that Playing for Keeps isn't an indication as to how the rest of 2013 will be for cinema. Best to get it out of the way early, I suppose!
Dennis Quaid hammers away at a nothing role as Thurman's husband, an adulterous alpha dog; it's nearly identical to the one he played earlier this year in What to Expect When You're Expecting, but who's counting?