This is totally not my kind of film.
PORKY?S (Bob Clark, 1982) is about a bunch of wild ?50?s High Schoolers and their misadventures. The title of this movie refers to a? I don?t know, strip club? Since I?m not from the ?50?s, I?m not sure what it?s supposed to be, but it?s this place run by this fat ass nicknamed
Porky (Chuck Mitchell), and the horny kids all want to go there because they get to see naked chicks. Like many teens, particularly in the ?50?s, all these kids think about are naked chicks, especially Pee Wee (Dan Monahan), the little guy who?s a virgin. They do all kinds of crazy shit for no discernible rhyme or reason (I guess it?s supposed to make us laugh), then they get revenge on Porky for having dissed them somewhere in the second act, and then Pee Wee gets laid (did I give that away? Oops.) And that?s pretty much it.
Okay, here?s why I am the absolute worst person to review this movie: This movie is a prime example of what you call ?redneck humor? ? the culture that Larry Flynt came from (not that I have anything against Larry Flynt in particular, I?m just trying to give you a frame of reference). If you want to know the opposite of Aslum Khan, it?s redneck. Indeed, a lot of the things I called ?white? during my Malcolm X phase were actually redneck. Affluent whites don?t act this way. Educated whites rarely find this amusing, or if they do, they?re usually laughing at, not with. This is, for me, the nadir of American culture, the only part of the United States I truly despise. This is the Caucasian equivalent of n words, as defined by Chris Rock. It?s earthy, it?s lowbrow, it?s Southern (or occasionally Canadian),
Okay, so all that said, how does it work as a film? Terribly. If you thought FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH (Amy Heckerling, 1982) lacked structure, try this movie. Really, the only thing I can give it points for is the acting, which was naturalistic, and thus gave a reality to it (it had almost no music, so I think that helped). I would not be surprised if a lot of this was autobiographical, outside of the schtick. People, I?m sure, will ask me if I found any value in its slight commentaries on Anti-Semitism. No. Why not? Because ?50?s racism was the stupidest racism of it all, based on absolutely nothing. The fact that white people could find a way to be racist against other white people boggles the mind. Rich white people, no less. And finally, there?s the much vaunted ?second best shower scene,? as it?s known (Alfred Hitchcock must have rolled over in his grave when he first heard that one). It wasn?t sexy, it wasn?t funny, it was just juvenile and unpleasant. Real sixth grade humor here.
And that?s the irony to all of this: the only reason I wanted to see this film is because when I was growing up, it was the ultimate taboo, the movie that every kid wanted to see. I remember my cousin saying that if you saw it you?d get an erection so big it would break through your pants. Again, maybe a thirteen year old who had only had a few dozen erections in his lifetime to that point (many of them to African bush women in National Geographic) would react that way. I can?t see how any adult would find this sexy at all (unless s/he was a redneck ? write your own Jeff Foxworthy joke).
So yeah, PORKY?S is garbage. Glad I got it out of my system; not much else.
January 4, 2010
