ROTTEN TOMATOES: Weekly Ketchup: My Three Schwarzenegger Remakes Comments

Weekly Ketchup: My Three Schwarzenegger Remakes

by Greg Dean Schmitz | June 05, 2009

Summary

This week's Ketchup sees Hollywood continuing its love affair with remakes, sequels, and movies based upon old toys and comic strip orange cats, as well as yet another Hamlet movie. #1 THE GOVERNATOR'S MOVIES CONTINUE ON (MOSTLY) WITHOUT HIM: TOTAL RECALL, PREDATORS AND... COMMANDO Arnold Schwarzenegger might not be making movies anymore, but his filmography is quickly becoming one of the most mined resources for remakes and sequels. First up, there is the news that Columbia has chosen Total Recall remake writer: Kurt Wimmer, writer/director behind Equilibrium and Ultraviolet, and scripter behind in-production projects Salt (starring Angelina Jolie) and Law Abiding Citizen (Jamie Foxx and Gerard Butler). Next up is a Moviehole report of Robert Rodriguez supposed interest for Schwarzenegger reprising his Dutch Schaefer role for Predators cameo. (That's the Predator sequel Rodriguez is producing, scheduled for a July 2010 release.) And finally, there's a rumor from JoBlo that 1985's Commando is being eyed for the remake treatment. Back to Article

(1-23 of 23 posts) | Reply

arendr writes:
on Jun 05 2009 06:54 PM

That Heathcliff headline is awesomely bad.

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ledawg1138 writes:
on Jun 05 2009 08:12 PM

Where are my comments? C'MON! Anyway, this week, garbage, but I like Halle Berry's photo.

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tomwaitsjr writes:
on Jun 05 2009 09:28 PM

I thought there was some talk of re-doing Conan?

Glad if it's not true. . .

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Runtun writes:
on Jun 06 2009 04:05 AM

"Total Recall" is actually a film that could do with remake To be more precise it's the source material, Philip K. Dick's "We Can Remember It for You Wholesale", that deserves to be given another crack since "Total Recall" did not even come close to doing the ideas in it justice.

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Don't Tase Me Bro writes:
on Jun 06 2009 12:32 PM

Egads!

Retraction: disregard previous post RT dudes; seems earlier there was a SNAFU for a bit with the forum comments, but it seems fixed now. Cheers.

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Bob S. writes:
on Jun 06 2009 04:31 PM

What's the deal with the comments being messed up? I know there were going to be changes to the community, but didn't think they would affect the comments on stories.

Also, are all the comments deleted from previous stories? There was an engaging discussion of Kevin Smith's films going on in one of them. All gone now? Or are they going to be restored?

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u1sart writes:
on Jun 06 2009 04:43 PM

I would love if they did a serious reboot to The Punisher, Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter, seriously both MK and SF should use directors directly from an asian community, I was watching this movie recently Ong Bak 2, and as i was looking at the fight choreography and picture tone.. it fits perfectly for street fighter and for Mortal kombat but in a more darker atmosphere, And as for The Punisher, I would love to see a version by Guy Richie.... what do you guys think.

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Bob S. writes:
on Jun 06 2009 07:20 PM

In reply to this comment (#2511280)
@u1start:
They sort of tried a Punisher reboot (PUNISHER: WAR ZONE with Ray Stevenson) that did not work, and was in my estimation worse than either of the previous incarnations (Dolph Lundgren's at least had some campy appeal to it; Thomas Jane's portrayal had its moments as well). STREET FIGHTER was recently rebooted (ignoring the circa 1994 Jean Claude van Damme travesty) with STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND OF CHUN LI, which was definitely worse.

I'm definitely for directors (especially fight choreographers) from an Asian background, but if they want to do these video games as movies, I'd rather they approach it from the angle of how to craft a genuinely appealing story that translates from one medium to the other. That's where the real challenge lies, not so much in how cool the fights look.

As for Guy Ritchie? I think his career peaked early, and I haven't really liked any movies he's done since SNATCH. Some, like REVOLVER, I would classify as awful. Hoping that he'll turn it around with SHERLOCK HOLMES, but I really don't think Ritchie is a very good director at all.

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Nekromania writes:
on Jun 06 2009 07:43 PM

Nice joke abt bryan singer- '...but the director is still fondly remembered for the two X-Men movies he directed, which were very, very good'
The movies were decent...very very far from very good.

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dEdGrimley writes:
on Jun 07 2009 08:58 AM

Since pretty much all of that is horrible, horrible, terrible, bad, depressing, uninspiring, damning, and horrible news for the movie industry, I just wanna point out that that's a particularly good picture of Halle Barry. The Surrogate doesn't look like it'll quite be up my alley, but at least it's somewhat original, unlike.... pretty much every other movie listed in this article and coming out in general.

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jaysix writes:
on Jun 07 2009 02:01 PM

Yeah, remake everything dumb sh*ts. Predator is a perfect movie. Invent your own damn stuff losers !

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gm1200 writes:
on Jun 07 2009 02:22 PM

Heathcliff? Tom Swift? Anything with Arnold?

How can you say it was a terrible week? Maybe not an amazing week, but not bad either...

Plus how can the Barbarella news be the Rotten Idea? Sure the movie sucked and so will the remake, but any time we see news that both Rodriguez and McGowan (shiver) are out of work we should be thankful...shame it won't be permanent. By the way...it might be politically correct, but I take issue with your calling McGowan his girlfriend...regardless of what transvestites want to be called, they still aren't women...

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Jason U. writes:
on Jun 07 2009 02:26 PM

The announcements in this article were mostly depressing.

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De4ective Detectiv3 writes:
on Jun 07 2009 03:50 PM

Pretty much all those announcements were awful, but that Tom Swift film looks like it could be promising.

And the fact that Robert Rodrigeuz dropped out of the Barbarella remake pleases me. Now that guy is a talentless hack. He should go back to making soulless kiddie films.

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Tyrant writes:
on Jun 07 2009 04:48 PM

A stretch armstrong movie? Really? Is this a joke?...

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Santos L. Halper writes:
on Jun 08 2009 07:21 AM

well at least the predator movie sounds like it is going to be sequal instead of a remake

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TombstoneLawDog writes:
on Jun 08 2009 07:21 AM

Didn't they already finish shoving the 'Exorcist' franchise up someone's @ss a couple of years ago? They made that unspeakably bad 'Beginning' movie back in '04 directed by Renny "I've sucked ever since Cliffhanger" Harlin.

Leave the undead alone, dammit!

Re: the Arnie remakes-
Here's the thing that Schwarzenegger proved: Muscles do not a blockbuster make. The hero has to have charisma (like he did). These movies probably CAN be remade, but you need a decent script, a decent-if-not-actually-good director, and a lead who doesn't simply look like a roidfreak with a prop-gun.

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CFM writes:
on Jun 08 2009 09:02 AM

Quote from above:

Based upon the obscure 1970s toy that let kids pull on a barechested man's rubber arms and legs, Stretch Armstrong is being produced by Brian Grazer, who commented that Stretch is "a character I have wanted to see onscreen for a long time."

That's a TOY not a character you weirdo!

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AetasMutuo writes:
on Jun 08 2009 10:27 AM

Remake/reboot... There should be some legislation to slow the Hollywood rush to remake or reboot every successful franchise/movie/TV Show/Video Game from the last 30 years.

Some have actually been very good. But I am sure in the rush to scoop up every dollar first; quality will suffer considerably.

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whitey_mcwhite writes:
on Jun 08 2009 12:07 PM

In reply to this comment (#2511279)
Bob S.: Are they gone?! I was about to go back to that thread and see if there's been any response to my last conversation about Kevin Smith! I hope they're there when I get there!

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Dave J. writes:
on Jun 08 2009 12:14 PM

In reply to this comment (#2511225)
The remake notion is going to be the film "Total Recall" and not the Philip K Dick's source material "We Can Remember It For You Wholesale". I don't recall the story "We Can ..." even being mentioned to be remade.

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Bob S. writes:
on Jun 08 2009 04:10 PM

In reply to this comment (#2511607)
@whitey_mcwhite:
It looks like it. I tried visiting that page from my history, from the link on the RT news page and so on, but I can't see any comments at all. I'm not sure if it's a problem with my browser (tried it in both Google Chrome and Internet Explorer 8). I was hoping that conversation was going to continue.

I wanted to say in response to your comment that I definitely sat up in my seat when Ollie told his daughter that he hated her and she'd ruined his life. I thought that was definitely an interesting direction to take it, but for me, that moment was subsequently ruined when we get Affleck's cliched arrival in the nick of time, a moment that's telegraphed well in advance. I think that if he'd missed her performance, and she sees him afterwards, hating him even more and expecting to move, only to be told that Ollie turned down the job, it would have made for a more compelling story. Instead, I think JERSEY GIRL wasted some of its potential by falling into the traditional tropes of its genre. It's a shame, because that movie definitely had the potential to rise above its genre instead of falling into the typical gags of the rom-com genre. By walking the line, I think it sort of alienated both camps - my then-girlfriend despised it, wanting a generally more upbeat film, and I wanted something more cynical with genuine humor (romantic comedy writers seem to think that the height of humor is having the female protagonist fall down - repeatedly). Alas, this is probably not the proper venue to conduct a discussion on Kevin Smith's films :(.

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dragotch writes:
on Jun 15 2009 10:48 PM

Here is a funny video I found today about the horrors of remakes... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F68U0v1UNCc

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