Once upon a time, on a dairy farm in a faraway land of fertile green valleys, there lived two lovers—Lucinda (Danielle Cormack) and Rob (Karl Urban). Along with their one hundred and seventeen cows, they led a charmed life full of love and warmth. Enveloped in the lush countryside, he milks, she provides the honey.
After Rob proposes to her, however, Lucinda starts to worry that the sparkle may be fading from their love. She drives in her pickup truck to seek the council of her best friend, Drosophilia (Willa O’Neill), a quirky Foodmart clerk. On the way, she mows over a mysterious old Maori woman. Shocked, she rushes over to help, but the woman scurries off, calling back a cryptic warning: "Keep Warm!"
Shaken, Lucinda continues into town where she explains her concerns about her relationship to Drosophilia. She assures Lucinda that her romance is like a storybook and Lucinda returns home, somewhat appeased. But that night, while Lucinda and Rob are sleeping, their quilt is mysteriously stolen.
Distraught over her bedspread and unsettled about her future with Rob, Lucinda returns to see Drosophilia. She suggests Lucinda put Rob’s love through a series of tests to prove how devoted he is to her. Convinced this is the only way to tell if their love is forever, Lucinda returns home and the games begin.
At first, her efforts seem to rekindle that magical aura of love: when she swims in a vat of Rob’s precious milk, a flash of anger melts into unbridled passion. But this serenity fades fast. Lucinda is obsessed with her quilt and its whereabouts. In the middle of the night, she tracks down its thief—the same old Maori woman and her nephews. Demanding that her quilt be returned, she single mindedly barters for the blanket, consenting to trade her most valuable possession. When Rob wakes the next day, he finds that all of his cows have disappeared.
From there on, Rob and Lucinda’s lives come undone. Shocked at his fiancé's carelessness, Rob swallows his own voice and is trapped in indecipherable hoarseness. After he fails to recover his livestock and his livelihood, he stomps Lucinda’s beloved quilt into the mud. With no place to live, and refusing to see Lucinda, he moves into his friend Bernie’s cold garage. At the same time, Lucinda realizes that, silly games aside, Rob is the man for her but she can’t communicate with him. Things only get worse when Drosophilia, more conniving than loyal, runs off with Rob.
Trapped in a whirlwind nightmare, Lucinda finds she must get Rob’s cows back before she loses her one true love forever. Ultimately, she must learn the price of milk before it’s too late.
12/31/07
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