The Royal Tenenbaums Quotes

The top The Royal Tenenbaums quotes selected by the Rotten Tomatoes community. Login to submit a quote!

• 1. Chas Tenenbaum: Why did you try to kill yourself?
  2. Etheline Tenenbaum: Don't press him right now.
  3. Richie Tenenbaum: I wrote a suicide note.
  4. Chas Tenenbaum: You did?
  5. Richie Tenenbaum: Yeah. Right after I regained consciousness.
  – Submitted by Chrysa C (4 months ago)
• 1. Royal Tenenbaum: [to Pagoda] That's the last time you put a knife in me!
  – Submitted by tony b (5 months ago)
• 1. Eli Cash: Let me ask you something. Why would a reviewer make the point of saying someone is especially *not* a genius? Do you think I'm especially *not* a genius?... You didn't even have to think about it did you?
  – Submitted by Chloe E (11 months ago)
• 1. Royal Tenenbaum: This is my adopted daughter, Margot Tenenbaum.
  – Submitted by Chloe E (11 months ago)
• 1. Richie Tenenbaum: I am going to kill myself tomorrow.
  – Submitted by Kase V (14 months ago)
• 1. Royal Tenenbaum: You can't raise boys to be scared of life. You got to brew some recklessness into them.
  2. Etheline Tenenbaum: I think that's terrible advice.
  – Submitted by Chad E (17 months ago)
• 1. Royal Tenenbaum: Pagoda's in possession of a parcel containing my will and some instructions for the funeral including my epitaph, for when the time comes. Proofread it for me before they carve it on the headstone, okay?
  – Submitted by Chad E (17 months ago)
• 1. Royal Tenenbaum: Henry Sherman, do you know him?
  2. Richie Tenenbaum: Yeah.
  3. Royal Tenenbaum: Is he worth a damn?
  4. Richie Tenenbaum: [emphatically] I believe so.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Margot Tenenbaum: You probably don't even know my middle name.
  2. Royal Tenenbaum: That's a trick question. You don't have one.
  3. Margot Tenenbaum: Helen.
  4. Royal Tenenbaum: That was my mother's name.
  5. Margot Tenenbaum: I know it was.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Raleigh St. Clair: [after learning from a private investigator that Margot had been previously married and has had several affairs with both men and women] So, she smokes.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Royal Tenenbaum: I didn't think so much of him at first. But now I get it, he's everything that I'm not.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Richie Tenenbaum: I wrote a suicide note.
  2. Chas Tenenbaum: You did?
  3. Richie Tenenbaum: Yeah, right after I regained conciousness.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Margot Tenenbaum: I'll have a butterscotch sundae I guess.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Royal Tenenbaum: [after he faked a terminal illness, took residence in the house under false pretenses, tried to instigate a fight with his estranged wife's fiancee, generally lied to his family and was then found out] I know I'm going to be the bad guy here.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Chas Tenenbaum: Are you okay?
  2. Royal Tenenbaum: Fuck do you care?
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Henry Sherman: [Telling everybody that Royal doesn't have cancer] I know what stomach cancer looks like. I've seen it, and you don't eat three cheeseburgers a day with french fries when you got it.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Royal Tenenbaum: Hell of a damn grave. Wish it were mine.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Chas Tenenbaum: I've had a rough year, dad.
  2. Royal Tenenbaum: I know you have, Chassie.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Narrator: Royal Tenenbaum bought the house on Archer Avenue in the winter of his 35th year. Over the next decade, he and his wife had three children, and then they separated.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Narrator: Among the few possessions he left to his heirs was a set of Encyclopedia Britannica in storage at the Lindbergh Palace Hotel under the names Ari and Uzi Tenenbaum. No-one spoke at the funeral, and Father Petersen's leg had not yet mended, but it was agreed among them that Royal would have found the event to be most satisfactory.
  2. Ari Tenenbaum: Fire! [Ari and Uzi fire their rifles into the air]
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Henry Sherman: I just wanted to apologize for the other day, when I proposed to you.
  2. Etheline Tenenbaum: Why? I thought it was very sweet.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Margot Tenenbaum: This is the sleeping bag we took to the museum, isn't it?
  2. Richie Tenenbaum: Mm-hmm.
  3. Margot Tenenbaum: Why'd you do it? Because of me?
  4. Richie Tenenbaum: Yeah, but it's not your fault.
  5. Margot Tenenbaum: You're not going to do it again, are you?
  6. Eli Cash: I doubt it.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Richie Tenenbaum: Go Mordecai!
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Royal Tenenbaum: I got a pretty bad case of cancer.
  2. Chas Tenenbaum: [yawns] How long you gonna last?
  3. Royal Tenenbaum: Not long.
  4. Chas Tenenbaum: A month? A year?
  5. Royal Tenenbaum: About six weeks. Let me get to the point, the three of you and your mother are all I've got and I love you more than anything. [Chas scoffs and mock laughs]
  6. Royal Tenenbaum: Chas, let me finish here. I've got six weeks to set things right with you and I aim to do it. Will you give me a chance?
  7. Chas Tenenbaum: No?
  8. Royal Tenenbaum: Do you speak for everyone?
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Pagoda: He has the cancer.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Royal Tenenbaum: Let's shag ass.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Eli Cash: I wish you'd've done this for me when I was a kid.
  2. Richie Tenenbaum: But you didn't have a drug problem then.
  3. Eli Cash: Yeah, but it still would've meant a lot to me.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Royal Tenenbaum: Everyone's against me.
  2. Pagoda: It's your fault, man.
  3. Royal Tenenbaum: I know but dammit, I want this family to love me. How much money you got?
  4. Pagoda: I don't have.
  5. Royal Tenenbaum: What? You're broke? You gotta be kidding me! How are we gonna pay for this room?
  6. Royal Tenenbaum: All right, I'll think of something. Ow.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Etheline Tenenbaum: How long have you been a smoker?
  2. Margot Tenenbaum: 22 years.
  3. Etheline Tenenbaum: Well I think you should quit.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Eli Cash: I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum.
  2. Royal Tenenbaum: Me too, me too.
  – Submitted by Asif K (24 months ago)
• 1. Pagoda: He has the cancer.
  – Submitted by rob g (2 years ago)
• 1. Royal Tenenbaum: Let's shag ass.
  – Submitted by rob g (2 years ago)