Critic Review - ColeSmithey.com

Violent, harrowing, and horrific; you bet. This is not a movie to take your children to see, or even a date. And it's definitely not worth seeing alone. How the ratings board gave this movie an "R" rating is a mystery. Well, maybe not.

April 14, 2009 Full Review Source: ColeSmithey.com | Comments (116)
ColeSmithey.com

Comments

Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabidu

Larry David

"Saving Private Ryan is way beyond revisionist history; it%u2019s absolutely implausible. No group of soldiers were ever sent to search after one guy because his brothers were killed and some Sergeant wanted to assuage the mom back home."

It's called the Sole Survivor Policy, YOU F-CKING MORON!!! Do some f-cking research before you spout bullsh-t from your mouth!!!

This has got to be the most IGNORANT "review" I've ever had the pleasure to read. It's not even a f-cking review!! All he does is go on and on about the violence and that it was only rated "R".

RT actually counts this bullsh-t??

Jan 13 - 06:24 PM

Jenna B.

Jenna Blackwell

I'm in complete agreement. War isn't pretty. And this guy's an ignoramus.

Jan 17 - 04:21 PM

Taylors Creepers

Taylor LeVine

Um dude... when WWII had started, people did rescue people like in the movie. And The movie was no where near NC-17 dude. It's a war movie. If it is an R rated one (like most are) then it will be graphic. Its not like in call of duty, or socom when people keep there body parts on even when hit by a grenade launcher blast.

I am starting to think you are not, the smartest critic in the world.

Jan 25 - 05:55 PM

Pontius P.

Pontius P

"...the two day battle called "D-Day" was a huge mistake. The military sent out a lot of U.S. soldiers to absorb German ammunition resulting in the highest number of causalities [sic?] for any battle in history..."

Why would you state something so blatantly wrong as a fact? There are easily a dozen historic battles throughout world history that have eclipsed D-Day's volume of casualties (causalities?). And if you were referring to only those that Americans participated in, the Battle of Gettysburg (even the Battle of Antietam) would like a word with you.

That single sentence tells us that the review -as a whole- achieves levels of fail that were previously thought unattainable.

Feb 9 - 04:53 PM

Gabriel C.

Gabriel Conley

Mr. Smithey, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard, and at not one point in you rambling, incoherent response did you come close to achieving anything that could be considered rational thought. Everyone here is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and my God have mercy on your soul.

Mar 6 - 11:02 AM

The Reaper

Iron Will

You are a vagina, Mr. Reviewer.

Mar 11 - 07:24 AM

Sri

Anand Prasad

You really shouldn't insult the wonderfulness that are vaginas. Cole Smithey is more accurately the lowest form of shit on Earth, he is diarrhea personified.

Sep 4 - 08:09 PM

Stephen P.

Stephen Pagnucco

It seems to me that he is more worried about the rating and not the actual film, panning it before he ever watched it

Mar 11 - 09:54 PM

Lord Naseby

Lord Naseby

I generally don't try to insult the intelligence of the reviewer. But OMG. you are a pompous F@#$%^. I mean, the complete lunacy of your review was shocking. you weren't even intelligent about it. you give speilberg his motives for him. you don't care what they actually might have been you just gave him his motives to him. The best Reviewer in the World? give me a break! the Best reviewer in the world doensn't assume why a director makes a movie and he definintley doesn't callously brush off WWII. Show me a military strategist who said that D-Day was a bad choice. It was the turning point in the war. I could go on and on with how bad your review is. if it was at least intelligent I could maybe agree to disagree with you. but your review has roughly the intelligence level of a 6th grade drop out.

Mar 19 - 01:42 PM

Jacob R.

Jacob Ryker

Apparently you are uneducated. That makes you stupid. You say there are military strategists who say D-Day was a mistake, and was basically "US soldiers absorbing German fire resulting in the highest number of casualties for any battle in history.."...I'm sorry, but you're wrong. Stalingrad was bloodier. So was Somme in WWI. And of course this isn't a childrens movie or a date movie. To be perfectly truthful, this is a documentary with actors. You, my friend, have no logic to back a F***in word you're saying. Perhaps next time you should use facts to back up your logic next time instead of flimsy assumptions. You won't offend nearly as many people. "Damn it all to hell.." I'd say the same goes for you.

Mar 19 - 05:19 PM

Jacob R.

Jacob Ryker

By the way, how do you plan to get your 'amphibious airplane filled with troops' into Berlin? It wouldn't matter if you brought an army of planes. You'd get your @$$ shot down.

Mar 19 - 05:25 PM

UKnowImRight

Daniel Miranda

Why the **** someone would like to se this movie with children/dates? we all know that women dont like good movies.ĻAnd its definitely not worth seeing aloneĻ:for u maybe,cocksucker ***.

Apr 15 - 03:20 PM

nathan p.

nathan phouthavong

you don't deserve to be the smartest movie critic to think this is for kids

Apr 18 - 11:37 PM

dodgerblue

Bruce Wayne

I'm not going to be like the other commenters here Smithey. If by some complete act of self-conciousness on your end you find this comment, I want you to know.
The last paragraph of your review was the most utterly idiotic thing I have ever seen someone who calls themself a film "critic" write. I hope to God you don't call yourself a journalist, because you would be spitting on the title. Journalists do this thing called "fact checking", and your statement saying "d-day had the most casualities in history" is the most soul-crushingly stupid thing I have ever seen. That single sentence thoroughly killed what was left of my faith in humanity. Not only do you not cite the "military strategists" which you clearly made up in your tiny, tiny brain, but you are 100% false in the fact.
Who says that? Who purposely makes a statement so obviously false like that? There are 3 battles in the CIVIL WAR with more casualties than D-Day. Go check.

Apr 26 - 06:47 PM

dustinxrx

dustin renwand

Your review doesn't make sense. Well, maybe not.

May 16 - 05:39 PM

dustinxrx

dustin renwand

What the ****? Did you really just say tom hanks is whoppi goldbergs evil twin?

May 16 - 05:45 PM

dustinxrx

dustin renwand

What the ****? Did you really just say tom hanks is whoppi goldbergs evil twin?

May 16 - 05:46 PM

dustinxrx

dustin renwand

What the ****? No context for the venomous behavior?!!!! It's war!!! It's kill or be killed!

May 16 - 05:49 PM

dustinxrx

dustin renwand

What the ****? No context for the venomous behavior?!!!! It's war!!! It's kill or be killed!

May 16 - 05:50 PM

Richard W.

Richard Woodward

I would like to point out that this guy liked the new Nightmare On Elm Street and hated Kick-Ass. Go figure.

May 20 - 06:56 PM

Justin L.

Justin Lindstrom

First off I want to ask if you are British because ur teeth are as bad as your review. typical bias critic, good job on your failed review of an awesome movie. Epic fail Mr.Fugly

Jul 10 - 05:59 PM

Justin L.

Justin Lindstrom

First off I want to ask if you are British because ur teeth are as bad as your review. typical bias critic, good job on your failed review of an awesome movie. Epic fail Mr.Fugly

Jul 10 - 06:00 PM

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