Scary Movie 5 Reviews

Page 1 of 157
Super Reviewer
August 22, 2013
Scary Movie 5 - This may be one of the worst spoof movies I have ever seen! It takes everything that was ever good or just decent about the other "Scary Movie" films and breaks the back of the franchise. It is dead dead dead. Hardly a laugh comes from this film at all. I will say that it is more clever than the hideous "30 Nights of Paranormal Activity with the Devil Inside the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" that came out earlier this year and attempted to make you laugh. I've seen worse films, but this is one of the worst this year by far. It's unfunny, crude, rude, and completely ridiculous. "Scary Movie 5" is not quite as bad as I think the second film is, but there is nothing good about this film besides a few gags here and there that made me chuckle and save me from killing myself out of boredom. This is a terrible film!
Super Reviewer
½ February 7, 2010
Evil is coming. Bring protection.

Very weak comedy movie! The worst of the Scary Movie franchise. The era of spoof and parody is dead. Let me start off by saying that I knew this film was going to be horrible from the start. I had read reviews and knew it was bad, but being so infatuated with film and theater, I actually wanted to see the movie to diagnose exactly what made it so horrible. Admittedly, there were some very rare parts of the movie that had a somewhat witty humor to it, but it was only once or twice, and weak at that. The rest of the stupid slapstick humor was just so lame and dragging. Overall, there was almost no sophisticated or witty humor, horrid acting, and it was all just plain bad. So yes, the reviews are correct, it was horrible. Don't waste your time!

Happily-married couple Dan and Jody begin to notice some bizarre activity once they bring their newborn baby Aiden home from the hospital. But when the chaos expands into Jody's job as a ballet dancer and Dan's career as an Ape researcher, they realize their family is being stalked by a nefarious demon. Together, with the advice of certified experts and the aid of numerous cameras, they must figure out how to get rid of it before it's too late.
Super Reviewer
September 2, 2013
Do you really wanna know how bad this movie is? "A Haunted Mansion" is comedy gold when compared to this (and that's saying something, because A Haunted Mansion was awful as well). I kid you not; this movie was really that bad. A Haunted Mansion managed to get a handful of laughs out of me (which I still feel guilty for); this movie didn't even crack a smirk on me. Do you really need to know more?

We could have rented "Epic" or "Pain & Gain" (I definitely would have picked Epic), but since the majority of the kids picked this it's what we had to watch (also, my little brother liked this movie, that's all you need to know seeing that he's the guy who also likes Epic Movie & Grown Ups).

I sat through every agonizing minute of this film, & I asked myself "WHY?!" with every random "gag" that was thrown at us (which was every 15-25 seconds) & not once did I even show the slightest hint of a smirk. It was painful to sit through. How painful? Epic Movie painful!

I can't even properly think how I can write down what I went through sitting through this crap! It's just BAD. BAD! I seriously didn't think that a Scary Movie movie could have stooped down to the level of a Seltzer & Friedberg movie.

There are numerous pacing problems, terrible acting (even for what it was going for), jokes that are nothing more than pop culture gags that were clearly done in reference from Seltzer & Friedberg films, tons of inconsistencies, lack of logic or even brains, & some of the most awful casting choices I have ever seen (Ashley Tisdale? Seriously?)

Also, RT, ask your editors to check the damn page here, the cast listed has actors that were never present throughout any of the movie.
Super Reviewer
August 22, 2013
Unbearably awful, Scary Movie V is a steaming pile of shit. Primarily the film parodies Mama and Paranormal Activity, but there are also parodies of Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Inception, Black Swan, and Evil Dead. However, none of the parodies are done very well and the production value is atrociously bad. And the acting (if it can be called that) is terrible at best. Scary Movie V isn't so much a movie as a bunch of garbage thrown onto a screen.
Super Reviewer
½ December 2, 2011
Scary Movie 5 is the definition of what can go wrong with a movie, and my goodness does a lot of things goes wrong in this movie. First of all the film insists on continuing a franchise of spoof film by putting in a few cameos, giving us some disturbing jokes, and never once even attempting to be a decent comedy like the original film was. I must admit that I have never been a fan of the Scary Movie series, besides the first one I found them all to be too ridiculous and pathetic to be considered real entertainment. The writers seem to only want to offend and annoy people which are what they surely succeed once again with this entry. The first film had originality, used silliness to its advantage, and mixed in a good level of horror movie spoof without going off the rails. This film mixes in spoofs from not just horror movies, but films like "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" to "Inception" and it just never made me laugh, only cringe. I think most people know the routine of these films by know, but to make matters worse they switch out Anna Faris with Ashley Tisdale in the starring role, and I respect Faris for this because she must have saw the script and said "No, this is too bad, even for me." The trailer makes it seem as if Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan are the stars of the film, but really they are in the first few minutes of the film and have had their quick cameo. There were just so many things that go wrong in this film, whether it was the story, cast, jokes, or directing, that I cannot willingly tell anyone to see this movie unless you love seeing your money flushed down the toilet.

The story follows a group of people who believe that they are being haunted, and the following events just keep getting crazier and crazier.

The plot doesn't really exist, and as you can see from the story description above it was very difficult explaining what the story even came close attempting. I am not sure if the writers were trying to revive the series, but I haven't seen such a waste of time at the movies in a while. There have been movies I have disliked, but this film just seems like it took a few hours to make and they didn't attempt at all to make it funny. It just proves that if you slap a franchise name like "Scary Movie" on a poster people will pay to see it, even if they know it will be bad. I won't bother talking about the characters, and I don't mind this because it's just a group of the most boring, bland, stupid characters I have seen in a film for quite some time. I think this is a film aimed for Middle School students who still believe that "The Benchwarmers" is pure comedic genius and brilliant filmmaking, and I still think even they will find this film atrocious. I don't wish to go on further with talking about this plot; it will make me angrier that I paid to see this trash.

The cast brings back a lot of actors that I wished to never see on film again, and man they just love to screw with their own careers. Ashley Tisdale lives up to her expectations, and her expectations were so low that it can't even been describes. She is just Ashley Tisdale, which is the only way to describe her. Simon Rex is the only one that even attempts to bring some laughs, but thanks to this God awful script he can't be recognized. Erica Ash returns to the series, and as it can tell she has really hit a low in her career if this is the only job she can get. You have cameos from Charlie Sheen, Bow Wow, Snoop Dog, Mike Tyson, Mac Miller, Big Ang, and many actors that just seem to want nothing more than to look like fools. I am sorry but they just act like any other actors in a David Zucker film, dumb.

Scary Movie 5 makes every attempt to be as bad as possible, and I just couldn't learn to love the stupidity like so many others could. I still remember when I watched "Meet the Spartans" a few years ago, as I believed it would be a stupid brand of comedy which I enjoy (if done correctly) so I watched it. I could not believe what I was seeing; this trash was actually filmed and put into theaters. This is the point in my life when I realized that I actually have my limits when it comes to watching crap movies. The point of this story is to show that films like Scary Movie 5 are the reason that I review movies in the first place, because I want to voice my opinion on how bad some movies can be and how some people are ignorant enough to consider it great. If you really enjoyed this film, that is your own opinion and you are entitled to it, but I must please ask to reconsider and realize this to be the crap it truly is. This film has no laughs, no happiness, and finds every possible chance it can get to throw in a spoof and try and ruin a great film. I am not a fan of the Scary Movie series, and I will pray that this is the last I have to hear about them.
Super Reviewer
½ April 16, 2013
These movies consistently face two problems: 1. the pop culture references they choose to parody are stale and clichéd by the time the movie comes out, and 2. even if they were more timely, the jokes just aren't that funny. Really, there's no chance of success here.
Super Reviewer
December 29, 2012
How has Scary Movie gone all PG rating? really made for children.. still funny, but really average.
Super Reviewer
July 25, 2014
Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan steal the film. If only they starred in it, rather than just be in it for 2 or 3 scenes, then the film might have been better. Scary Movie franchise isn't as good as the Naked Gun or Hot Shot comedy franchises. I kind of missed Anna Farris here. Ashley Tisdale is no Anna Farris. The film did have a few funny moments, but not a lot.
Super Reviewer
½ September 6, 2013
It's like every other Scary Movie before, completely dumb and full of nonsense. Charlie Sheen and Snoop Dogg were the two people that stood out for me in this film and its a shame they weren't in it a lot longer as I may have given it more stars. Definitely should be the last one, they've run out of ideas.
½ March 30, 2013
Truth be told, I wasn't exactly a fan of the Scary Movie franchise, but I became extremely fond of it and I've watched all four of them. The first one wasn't excellent, but it was pretty funny and while I had problems with the second and third films, they were pretty good. Scary Movie 4, however, was lackluster despite a few decent gags here and there. So, when the makers of the franchise decided to make another Scary Movie, I became interested and went to see it today with my brother.

Later, we walked out of the theater. My brother didn't like it, but coming across as a movie-buff guy, I kind of liked it. Ok, it does have some problems that I would point out in a moment, but while it's not as funny as the original film, it's a lot better than Scary Movie 4. So, here are the flaws.

The story did focus on a few horror films and such, but it came across as nonsensical with a pointless 10 minute opening sequence and it has several scenes that are completely dragged throughout the movie. The pacing is a tad uneven and the characters are beyond dull.

There are some redeeming qualities, however. The acting isn't anything special, but I think that despite Anna Faris and Regina Hall from the previous films not returning, I think Ashley Tidsdale and several actors including cameos from Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan handled the material really well. The scenery and the sets are pretty cool too, but the best part would have to go to the gags and while they're not as funny as the original's gags, most of them got me laughing.

I understand that this movie is getting panned by critics, but being a guy who likes comedy films, I think this is a guilty pleasure for me. I'm sure fans of the Scary Movie franchise might hate it, but I think there might be some other people who might like it depending on their own tastes.
Super Reviewer
January 6, 2013
It's garbage.
April 17, 2013
I wasn't expecting much from this film to begin with. However, there were a few good laughs. Crude humor and sexual references pretty much sums it up. So, it really depends on what kind of movie you're in the mood for.
September 4, 2012
Ms. Sindelar Liked This Movie And It Made Her Laugh, One Of My Friends Brandon Chaples Saw This Movie Twice.
July 22, 2011
I really didn't like this movie . I stopped liking them when the Wayans brothers stopped making them but Anna and Regina are what made be keep on with the franchise . This movie just killed my life .
½ May 14, 2014
A mess of slapped together parodies. They tried to shoehorn too many film references and it just doesn't quite work. If they had just stuck with the Paranormal Activity and Mama story lines, they might have been able to pull off a decent movie. The Black Swan, The Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, and Fifty Shades Of Grey scenes just didn't flow with the rest of the parodies. I know it's supposed to be dumb, but it can still have a coherent narrative. Instead, this movie gives you a bunch of random parodies and crude jokes duct-taped together to make a crappy comedy.

Most of the jokes seem like they were the first thought that came to the writers. I'll improvise a Scary Movie 5 scene right now off the top of my head: "A guy tries to open a kitchen drawer but it's stuck, so the guy braces his leg against the counter and finally the drawer comes out and hits the guy in the nuts really hard. The guy lays on the floor in agony and finally sits up, only to hit his head on the drawer." This is what a typical scene in Scary Movie 5 is like. It's a bunch of jokes that haven't been thought out.

It does have it's moments, but for the most part Scary Movie 5 comes off as just a half-hearted attempt at humor. If they concentrate more on poking fun at the movies they are parodying and less on the lowest of low brow jokes, they might actually be able to keep this franchise popular. They also need to stick to parodies of movies they've actually SEEN and not just saw the trailer [which is what they did for The Evil Dead remake]. I've seen much worse parody films, but this one still isn't very good.
½ May 10, 2014
The scary movie franchise returns with Scary Movie V. What does not how return however is, Anna Faris due to pregnancy, and the Wayans Brothers writers of the first 4 movies. As a result we have by far the worst film in the series. The movie continues the tradition of spoofing movies, but was simply not funny at all.
November 10, 2013
This is by far the weakest entry into this series yet. There were very few parts in the movies where I had an actual laugh. But it wasn't all that much funny with all the mixed movies of cabin in the woods, black swan, and whatever.
April 19, 2013
A very funny film. The plot followed the plot of "Paranormal Activity" & also spoofed "Cabin In The Woods" & "Evil Dead" to name a few. I liked that the movie flowed better than Scary Movie 3 & 4. I also thought it was a lot funnier than those. This was one of the best spoofs I have ever seen. I was really impressed with the performance of Ashley Tisdale. The humor was a lot more intelligent than some of the other spoofs I have seen. You know going in what you are going to get in the way of humor. These are not going to be award winners. On the whole I thought it was not quite as good as the classics Scary Movie 1 & 2 but close in quality to those films. If you want to laugh do not miss this one. I thought it was better than I had expected. I laughed hard through most of the film. I will admit they over did it with some of the potty humor & alcoholic jokes but it is still very good.
January 17, 2013
I found it mildly entertaining. I can see why the critics hated it but I felt like it was a fun way to kill some time.
Page 1 of 157