Scary Movie 5 Reviews
Very weak comedy movie! The worst of the Scary Movie franchise. The era of spoof and parody is dead. Let me start off by saying that I knew this film was going to be horrible from the start. I had read reviews and knew it was bad, but being so infatuated with film and theater, I actually wanted to see the movie to diagnose exactly what made it so horrible. Admittedly, there were some very rare parts of the movie that had a somewhat witty humor to it, but it was only once or twice, and weak at that. The rest of the stupid slapstick humor was just so lame and dragging. Overall, there was almost no sophisticated or witty humor, horrid acting, and it was all just plain bad. So yes, the reviews are correct, it was horrible. Don't waste your time!
Happily-married couple Dan and Jody begin to notice some bizarre activity once they bring their newborn baby Aiden home from the hospital. But when the chaos expands into Jody's job as a ballet dancer and Dan's career as an Ape researcher, they realize their family is being stalked by a nefarious demon. Together, with the advice of certified experts and the aid of numerous cameras, they must figure out how to get rid of it before it's too late.
We could have rented "Epic" or "Pain & Gain" (I definitely would have picked Epic), but since the majority of the kids picked this it's what we had to watch (also, my little brother liked this movie, that's all you need to know seeing that he's the guy who also likes Epic Movie & Grown Ups).
I sat through every agonizing minute of this film, & I asked myself "WHY?!" with every random "gag" that was thrown at us (which was every 15-25 seconds) & not once did I even show the slightest hint of a smirk. It was painful to sit through. How painful? Epic Movie painful!
I can't even properly think how I can write down what I went through sitting through this crap! It's just BAD. BAD! I seriously didn't think that a Scary Movie movie could have stooped down to the level of a Seltzer & Friedberg movie.
There are numerous pacing problems, terrible acting (even for what it was going for), jokes that are nothing more than pop culture gags that were clearly done in reference from Seltzer & Friedberg films, tons of inconsistencies, lack of logic or even brains, & some of the most awful casting choices I have ever seen (Ashley Tisdale? Seriously?)
Also, RT, ask your editors to check the damn page here, the cast listed has actors that were never present throughout any of the movie.
The story follows a group of people who believe that they are being haunted, and the following events just keep getting crazier and crazier.
The plot doesn't really exist, and as you can see from the story description above it was very difficult explaining what the story even came close attempting. I am not sure if the writers were trying to revive the series, but I haven't seen such a waste of time at the movies in a while. There have been movies I have disliked, but this film just seems like it took a few hours to make and they didn't attempt at all to make it funny. It just proves that if you slap a franchise name like "Scary Movie" on a poster people will pay to see it, even if they know it will be bad. I won't bother talking about the characters, and I don't mind this because it's just a group of the most boring, bland, stupid characters I have seen in a film for quite some time. I think this is a film aimed for Middle School students who still believe that "The Benchwarmers" is pure comedic genius and brilliant filmmaking, and I still think even they will find this film atrocious. I don't wish to go on further with talking about this plot; it will make me angrier that I paid to see this trash.
The cast brings back a lot of actors that I wished to never see on film again, and man they just love to screw with their own careers. Ashley Tisdale lives up to her expectations, and her expectations were so low that it can't even been describes. She is just Ashley Tisdale, which is the only way to describe her. Simon Rex is the only one that even attempts to bring some laughs, but thanks to this God awful script he can't be recognized. Erica Ash returns to the series, and as it can tell she has really hit a low in her career if this is the only job she can get. You have cameos from Charlie Sheen, Bow Wow, Snoop Dog, Mike Tyson, Mac Miller, Big Ang, and many actors that just seem to want nothing more than to look like fools. I am sorry but they just act like any other actors in a David Zucker film, dumb.
Scary Movie 5 makes every attempt to be as bad as possible, and I just couldn't learn to love the stupidity like so many others could. I still remember when I watched "Meet the Spartans" a few years ago, as I believed it would be a stupid brand of comedy which I enjoy (if done correctly) so I watched it. I could not believe what I was seeing; this trash was actually filmed and put into theaters. This is the point in my life when I realized that I actually have my limits when it comes to watching crap movies. The point of this story is to show that films like Scary Movie 5 are the reason that I review movies in the first place, because I want to voice my opinion on how bad some movies can be and how some people are ignorant enough to consider it great. If you really enjoyed this film, that is your own opinion and you are entitled to it, but I must please ask to reconsider and realize this to be the crap it truly is. This film has no laughs, no happiness, and finds every possible chance it can get to throw in a spoof and try and ruin a great film. I am not a fan of the Scary Movie series, and I will pray that this is the last I have to hear about them.
Later, we walked out of the theater. My brother didn't like it, but coming across as a movie-buff guy, I kind of liked it. Ok, it does have some problems that I would point out in a moment, but while it's not as funny as the original film, it's a lot better than Scary Movie 4. So, here are the flaws.
The story did focus on a few horror films and such, but it came across as nonsensical with a pointless 10 minute opening sequence and it has several scenes that are completely dragged throughout the movie. The pacing is a tad uneven and the characters are beyond dull.
There are some redeeming qualities, however. The acting isn't anything special, but I think that despite Anna Faris and Regina Hall from the previous films not returning, I think Ashley Tidsdale and several actors including cameos from Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan handled the material really well. The scenery and the sets are pretty cool too, but the best part would have to go to the gags and while they're not as funny as the original's gags, most of them got me laughing.
I understand that this movie is getting panned by critics, but being a guy who likes comedy films, I think this is a guilty pleasure for me. I'm sure fans of the Scary Movie franchise might hate it, but I think there might be some other people who might like it depending on their own tastes.
Most of the jokes seem like they were the first thought that came to the writers. I'll improvise a Scary Movie 5 scene right now off the top of my head: "A guy tries to open a kitchen drawer but it's stuck, so the guy braces his leg against the counter and finally the drawer comes out and hits the guy in the nuts really hard. The guy lays on the floor in agony and finally sits up, only to hit his head on the drawer." This is what a typical scene in Scary Movie 5 is like. It's a bunch of jokes that haven't been thought out.
It does have it's moments, but for the most part Scary Movie 5 comes off as just a half-hearted attempt at humor. If they concentrate more on poking fun at the movies they are parodying and less on the lowest of low brow jokes, they might actually be able to keep this franchise popular. They also need to stick to parodies of movies they've actually SEEN and not just saw the trailer [which is what they did for The Evil Dead remake]. I've seen much worse parody films, but this one still isn't very good.