SERENITY
By
Victoria Alexander
FilmsInReview.com

My new column, THE DEVIL’S HAMMER, appears every Monday on fromthebalcony.com. The Sept. 26th column features: The Phenomenal Tao Nightclub at Venetian, Vegas Magazine Party at The Palms, George Clooney Infests Invests in Las Vegas, McCormick and Schmidt Seafood Restaurant Renovation, The Da Vinci Code, The Psychic Macaw, A Movie Star’s “Fraud” Marriage, Madonna’s Gay Husband?, and more

This is what happens when you have TV power. Joss Whedon’s TV series “Firefly” had fans (most of them were in the audience at the promotional screening I attended last night) but not enough for the series to continue after only eleven episodes. Nevertheless, Whedon has “juice” (“Buffy, the Vampire Slayer” and its spin-off, “Angel”) and Universal Pictures gave him money to patch together a movie of his maligned baby.

[A comment by my husband applies here: We signed up for a friend’s weeklong biofeedback program. We left after two days. My husband told the director: “How do you tell someone their baby is ugly?”]

SERENITY takes place 500 years in the future. Other solar system planets have been inhabited and the whole shebang is ambitiously controlled by the monolithic Alliance. Science now can program everyone’s thoughts and lives (For those interested, I’d like to recommend Jose M. R. Delgrado’s notorious “Physical Control of the Mind: Toward a Psychocivilized Society.”). All, except rebel Capt. Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds (Nathan Fillion) and the crew of his ship, Serenity.

The ship’s doctor, Simon (Sean Maher), needs help freeing his creepy, catatonic, but powerfully psychic, 17-year-old sister River Tam (Summer Glau), from the Alliance’s grip. Shoeless and dopey, River is the latest model of war-craft: a 90-pound killing machine with extraordinary psychic powers. River is controlled with MK-ULTRA-like commands. It is a very easy rescue but Alliance forces, led by a mysterious gent known as Operative (Chiwetel Ejiofor), pursue Serenity across planetary systems. Operative will not die.

If you are not a “cult” fan, the story is simple enough to follow. Fillion, an obvious alterego for Whedon, is given all the sexy close-ups. I liked the personality of the crew, especially the guy who kept – realistically – complaining about the mission to rescue the monosyllabic River. Well, you will be pleased to know that when spooky River is programmed to kill, she finds a pair of SS regulation boots!

The physical laws of strength do not apply here. River is one of those spacey chicks that soon gets annoying. River, for all her importance to the Alliance, is a waif-burden. What I liked about SERENITY? Saying exactly what I liked is a spoiler.

SPOILER ALERT!

The deaths and the hip dialogue. Fillion does not believe in taking prisoners or letting diplomacy mar his agenda. His ex-girlfriend should be dropped off at the nearest planet. The special effects are horrible and Whedon, for all his proclaimed love for his baby, has not realized his universe with the cruel intelligence of, let’s say, BLADE RUNNER.

Victoria Alexander answers your emails and she’s emotionally prepared for the wrath of Firefly/Serenity fans. She can be reached by visiting FilmsInReview.com or, directly, at masauu@aol.com.