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Shark Night 3D Reviews

Page 1 of 84
TheDudeLebowski65
TheDudeLebowski65

Super Reviewer

June 15, 2012
Shark Night 3D is a horrible film that is one of the most unoriginal pieces of crap I've seen in quite some time. David R. Ellis who made a previous nature gone wild theme horror film with Snakes on a Plane misses the mark entirely with this one. The films plot is nothing new, in fact it's predictable. We all know what happens with this one. The story is bad, the film rides on all the usual clichés, not to mention that the cast is awful and can't act. Ellis made a good film with Snakes on a Plane; it was a fine tribute to B movie comedy horror in my book. However with this one, it simply doesn't deliver the goods. After all those dreadful; Jaws sequels, you'd think they would stop with making bad shark films. Well, I guess they didn't learn their lesson. This film is just poorly made, with no heart and it's not even one of those films that are worth watching for a mindless night of dumb fun. As a horror film, it fails, this is stupid, pointless and overall a train wreck of a film. This so poorly crafted, so lazily made that you don't care for any character, in fact the only thing you care about is the end credits because at least now the horror of sitting through this film is over. This film never should have been made, and is not a good nature gone wild film. Watch the original Jaws for real shark terror and Joe Dante's Piranha for real fun. This simply doesn't deliver. Well it delivers on the mediocrity and it's something it has plenty of. This film might have succeeded if more care went into writing a consistent script, which is something that is clearly absent from this film. This is a film that is not worth your time, and there are far better films in the genre to watch. One of David R. Ellis' worst films, Shark Night is a cliché fest from start to finish simply designed to make a quick buck.
Jason C

Super Reviewer

February 3, 2012
Hmm. Sometimes you know a movie is going to be bad before you even watch it. This is especially true in the Horror genre. Even though the movie is crap, sometimes a few brutal kills and some good laughs will at least, make things entertaining. Then there's dog shit like "Shark Night". There is no redeemable quality to "Shark Night" at all. While watching the atrocity, I was constantly reminded that I was wasting my time. The movie was castrated from the get go. The asinine PG-13 rating extracted all of the adult content necessary to make a movie like this successful. The story is, of course. ludicrous and the effects are embarrassing. 3-D movies from the 80's would point and laugh relentlessly at what is offered here. Which is really insulting, considering they smear '3D' in the title. You might want to avoid "Shark Night".
blkbomb
blkbomb

Super Reviewer

May 19, 2012
Blake: What are all these sharks doing here? 

"Terror runs deep."

Shark Night wants to be a movie like Piranha. It wants to be a fun, exciting, and humorous blood feast, but it makes a huge mistake in going PG-13. Movies like this have to be rated R. Piranha was a success because it had tons of gore and tons of boobs. That's what the genre is made of. This went light on everything. The gore was lackluster and the boobs weren't there at all. So now in order to be a decent movie it has to actually be inventive and original in a way that this genre just can't be anymore; and it wasn't. The movie was stupid in ways you'd expect and in other ways that are surprising. It isn't humorous, you'll laugh at it, not with it. All in all, it is one of the worst movies you'll see in the killer fish genre. 

Obviously movies like this aren't trying to be the next Jaws because it just isn't possible. They need to be fun in different ways in order to succeed and Shark Night just wasn't able to do that. It was lifeless and at times just plain boring. The kills were terrible and the sharks looked just as bad. The filmmakers also went to great lengths to have stuff jump at you because everything has to be in 3D. There was a lot of fast motion scenes. We can see what they were going for; a fast paced, blood soaked extravaganza. Too bad what we were given was 80 minutes of boredom and cliches. 

Killer fish movies need to look at Piranha and see what it did. The makers of that knew they weren't making a great movie, but they also knew how to make it appeal to fans of the genre. Here they lost sight of that and sinfully thought they were doing something cool. Were they ever wrong.
boxman
boxman

Super Reviewer

May 18, 2012
Piranha 3D was a horror movie that knew exactly what it was doing, and good gravy it did it well. Here was a horror comedy that brilliantly provided campy thrills, over-the-top mayhem, salacious T&A, and a jubilant sense of humor. It was a glorious 1980s-esque exploitation film adapted to modern times. In the wake of Piranha 3D came the pitiful Shark Night 3D, which was marketed with a similar celebratory exploitation angle. Besides the unifying aquatic threat, the two movies, however, couldn't be any more different. Shark Night 3D is to Piranha 3D what Branson, Missouri is to Vegas.

It's spring break on the Bayou, and seven friends are heading out to Sara Palski's (Sara Paxton) family house on the lake. Nick (Dustin Milligan) has a full course load as a pre-Med major, so he's looking to relax and finally make a move with his crush on Sara. Along for the ride are geeky Gordon (Joel David Moore), future NFL first-round pick Malik (Sinqua Walls), his girlfriend Maya (Alyssa Diaz), the rebellious party girl Beth (Katherine McPhee), and her ex-boyfriend, the self-absorbed Blake (Chris Zylka). Their revelry is interrupted when they discover that the lake is filled with all kinds of sharks. A group of menacing local rednecks terrorizes the gang and plan to feed them to the sharks.

What this movie reminds me of are the watered down soft-core "comedies" that used to grace the late night airwaves on the cable channel USA. Somebody had the bright idea to take movies that were primarily made to titillate with casual T&A; when you strip away those base exploitation elements, which in this case was sex and nudity, then you're left with 90 minutes of strained filler and really flat jokes. That's what Shark Night 3D (in non-3D) feels like. Ignoring the fact that Paxton (Last House on the Left) runs around in a bikini for 90 percent of the movie, the film is lacking guts of all kinds. The closest you'll get to skin is some brief side boob from American Idol alum, and quizzically ever-present actress, Katherine McPhee (The House Bunny). I want to state for the record that giving McPhee a nose stud and some lower back tattoos is the unconvincing PG-13 translation of making her into a "bad girl." I wouldn't be as miffed about the omission of the exploitation elements if the movie presented a compelling story or some well-orchestrated suspense sequences. It presents itself as an exploitation film, replete with plenty of underwater POV shots of bikini bottoms but it pulls back at every opportunity, cruelly teasing the audience with the promise of something better, but better never comes.

Its ideas of suspense revolve around lame jump scares and quickly resolved sequences where characters are picked off by the sharks. The movie sets up a dramatic scenario and doesn't waste much time. Characters get picked off with mordant efficiency, and yet there's no pizazz to these deaths, no memorable or gruesome moments. Hope you like seeing people pulled under red water. Unlike Deep Blue Sea, an enjoyable campy outing, these sharks are just regular sharks and yet they behave like genetically engineered killing machines, leaping out of the water to snatch prey at high altitudes. They even know how to break an onboard motor, which sounds like the work of a shark suicide bomber. There's never really a great explanation for why the sharks are even doing in a lake. Granted, it's stated to be a salt water lake and spillovers from high waters have been known to deposit oceanic creatures inland, but then the dumb redneck characters take credit for the shark attacks. They say they put them in the lake. I don't believe this for a second, nor do I believe that these goons are secretly clever when it comes to advanced technology. Their whole scheme, which includes one of them philosophizing about "moral relativism," is completely unbelievable, as well as their crazy get rich quick scheme.

If you're not going to deliver the goods, at least don't pretend that your sharks-eat-college-kids horror movie is some serious work of art. Sadly, the thing that can save any low-rent horror movie, a sense of humor, is noticeably absent with Shark Night 3D. It goes all the way in the other direction, trying to churn serious drama out of ridiculous situations. Characters are prone to delivering long monologues that let us know how scared they are or of some past trauma. Sara is haunted by a drowning scare that put an irreconcilable rift between her and her ex-boyfriend, who happens to be one of the sinister rednecks. The stupid melodrama in this movie is played completely poker-faced serious. When one male character loudly bellows that his girlfriend, who died via shark, was the most important thing in his world, it's something of a head-scratcher. Before this lady fell victim to nefarious shark attack, we knew next to nothing about her beyond superficial descriptions, namely her race and her designation as "girlfriend." We don't even see anything of this so-called relationship, so when the feeding frenzy starts and the characters start getting picked off, the wails of drama are comically misplaced. When that character tries to go back into the water to attain vengeance against the animal that took his woman ("They took one of ours, now I'm gonna take one of theirs"), it feels absurd and hilarious. The movie hasn't even done a credible job to make us believe the significance of the character relationships.

The screenplay by Will Hayes and Jesse Studenberg relies on stock roles almost to a degree of self-parody (the athlete, the smart wet blanket, the doofus, the virginal girl next door, the vampy girl - hey Cabin in the Woods, I got your lineup right here). You would think given the scenario of shark-infested waters, all you had to do was remain on land. The old chestnut about cell phone signals is here again, but I refuse to believe that Sara's family house does not have a landline phone. I thought maybe for one shining moment Shark Night 3D would move into an unexpected direction, and then it didn't. After our first shark victim struggles to pull through, our med student Nick takes charge. I thought it would have been great during this moment, when we fully expect Nick to be indispensible given his medical knowledge, that he gets eaten by a shark. Alas, my dreams of convention upheaval were not to be met. If you can't predict every twist and turn the movie makes, including the heroic sacrifice and the "twist" betrayal, then you haven't lived long enough to move on from the kiddie pool.

Shark Night 3D is a schlocky, tiresome, neutered exploitation film missing the elements that make exploitation films worth watching. After a while, it just becomes exasperating. This movie is 90 minutes of being lead around without a payoff. It wants to be a fun, campy movie, but then why does it take itself so seriously and lack the slightest sense of humor? It wants to be considered amongst exploitation horror movies, with nubile teens being stalked in their bikini bottoms below the murky depths, but then why does the movie pull back at every opportunity for sex and gore? Shark Night 3D is a movie that will appeal to no one. If you want thrills and chills, you'll be disappointed. If you want T&A, you'll be disappointed. If you want some good shark action, you'll be disappointed. If you want a workable story and characters worth rooting for, you'll be disappointed. If you love sharks, you'll be disappointed, which is a real disappointment. The only people who won't be disappointed will be the people who grew up on those late-night USA cut-for-TV soft core flicks. To those few people in their bubbles of ignorance, Shark Night 3D might be the best movie they've ever seen.

Nate's Grade: D
Luke B

Super Reviewer

May 14, 2012
Shark Night's only real sin is that it plays to a PG-13 audience. That's OK for a film like Jaws which has powerful performances and wonderful characters. Not to mention incredible suspense. But if you're going to make a cheap and nasty killer animal film, make it nasty. Still, there are lots of things to enjoy here for lovers of such a crappy genre. A group of teens suffering from a disease that makes them look like they are in their mid-twenties, go on an island vacation. No phones, no internet, no contact with the outside world. Bliss. Unluckily for them, but luckily for the audience, there are some sharks to tear these guys apart. Same as ever, but with some particularly bad CGI, it includes some unique scenes that get you excited. Best of all is a one armed man going to fight a hammerhead with nothing but a spear and his fists. It was also fun to see Joshua Leonard as a real creepy hick. Daft dialogue, annoying characters, but a bit of fun. Don't take it too seriously.
Dean !

Super Reviewer

May 26, 2011
Only saw it in 2D. What a shame and a waste a film like this should never be PG-13/15?! Ruined it for the target audience. The cgi was ok but the story, gore and pretty much everything else was lame! The run time was only 77mins as well! Oh well maybe Piranha 3DD will hit the mark.
Lewis C

Super Reviewer

November 21, 2010
"That's a mighty fine rack of lamb."

A group of college kids visits the lakeside home of a friend in order to celebrate and have some fun. Menacing locals are a quickly forgotten problem when a shark attacks one of them and they're forced to try to find some way to get help.

Shark Night isn't a terrible movie. It's just nothing remarkable. Almost a "tv movie of the week" version of a shark attack movie. The story starts of as forced and stale, before taking a turn for the utterly ridiculous.

The gore is toned down and the titillation is PG-13 at most (as is the movie rating). This isn't exactly the movie to seek out if you're looking for gore. It's just a few B-level actors and actresses getting munched on by fake-looking sharks (and mostly off-camera or obscured by water). There's one squirm-inducing death that's worth seeing, but it's over way too quickly and nothing that follows matches it.

The characters are so stereotypically written that it must have been done on purpose. You've got the shy, handsome nerd who's inexperienced with women, the annoying sidekick, the self-obsessed dumb guy, the tough-talking dude with a promising football future and a rough past in the hood, the slutty girl, and the all-American sweet love interest with "dark secrets" in her past that come back to haunt her. Oh, and a couple of the most over-the-top (and strangely knowledgeable) redneck characters I've ever seen. They all get way more screen-time than the sharks, which doesn't really make sense in a movie called "Shark Night".

Like I said, this isn't an awful movie. It just doesn't do much to justify its own existence. There's no real tension or menace to be had, here. It won't scare you like Jaws, and it won't entertain you while making you wince like the recent Piranha remake. Watch it if you're really bored (like I did), but this isn't a "must see" by any definition of the phrase. I have to admit, though, that Sara Paxton looks unbelievable in a bikini. Sign me up for some more of that, but keep the rest.
Directors Cat
Directors Cat

Super Reviewer

November 6, 2011
Imagine "Piranha 3D" minus the terror and excitement forced by the change of an 18 rating to a 15/12. What you get left with is Shark Night. The 3D is ok but apart from that the director of the enjoyable "Snakes on a Plane" pretty much remakes Jaws the Revenge.
LorenzoVonMatterhorn
LorenzoVonMatterhorn

Super Reviewer

January 21, 2012
"Terror runs deep."

A weekend at a lake house in the Louisiana Gulf turns into a nightmare for seven vacationers as they are subjected to shark attacks.

REVIEW
Seven students go to spend a holiday on the luxury holiday home of one of the girls: it sits on its own island in the Florida everglades. And they are having a lovely time when the first shark attack comes. This film is essentially someone stalking the dorm wiping out students one by one, except it is sharks not slashers, and the students are all in their bathers. There is a completely preposterous plot development halfway through, then another even more preposterous plot development building on the first one, and an utterly idiotic final shot. The cast are all unknown and, regrettably, this movie is unlikely to change that for any of them. Much of the shark antics are ripped bodily from Jaws. This is the sort of movie which used to be made for the direct-to-video market, pumped up by 3D. On the plus side, it is pretty to look at with attractive scenery, the girls look nice in bikinis, there are six-packs on view for the ladies, the 3D is sometimes effective, and CGI sharks have come on a long way. And there is a shot halfway through featuring a shark and a jetski which made me laugh out loud (it wasn't meant to, I don't think).
3niR
3niR

Super Reviewer

August 31, 2011
Shark + Bad guys + Eating + Corny dialogues + Bad guys getting killed + Main character survives (or a little mysterious ending) = Saw it before many and many times. Nothing new except the ending... where everybody raps.
DreamExtractor
DreamExtractor

Super Reviewer

August 17, 2011
Shark Night 3D had no reason to be 3D other than tricking people into seeing it just to empty our wallets. Its set on a lake where seven college students go there for vacation but soon realize there are sharks in the lake when they start attacking the kids one by one, and they must learn how to kill them and also how they got into the lake. The plot is just a simple shark movie, its similar in many ways to Piranha 3D but that movie was actually pretty decent, this just is so boring and pointless that it gets by just with a few people being eaten every 20 minutes. The cast is very dull and boring, nobody here plays a memorable performance, but to be fair no performance in these kinds of moviers is ever remembered (with the exception of Jaws). The 3D is so terrible, there were hardly any 3D scenes, its just a pointless way to empty our pockets, and we fet no payoff for paying the extra cash, and although there is once in a while where the 3D is kind of cool, there was no reason to make this in 3D other than the producers wanting more cash. The shark effects were lame, I didn'r get the thrill like in Deep Blue Sea or Piranha 3D. Shark Night 3D should not be called a horror movie, it was anoher not scary film I have seen this weekend (the other being Apollo 18), if you want a scary movie go see aything else, because this was just stupid and actually funny rather than scary. If i will give this movie any credit, its making some pretty effective villains who i was just begging for them to die because they were such assholes, but other than that the movie is dull, poitless, and another money grubbing 3D movie of the summer, and i'm sad to say, a good summer for movies has ended with a failure of a horror film.
Phil H

Super Reviewer

September 24, 2011
Well despite a terrific looking poster this film turns out to be a PG-13!! although 15 here in the UK still doesn't equal much confidence.

So think 'Deep Blue Sea' but set in the American south in a lake and you have this really quite bad and pointless 'horror' film. Obviously there is ZERO originality here what so ever and chock full of all your pointless boring cliched characters and storylines involving young dumb pretty teens simply used as shark bait.

Utterly stupid plot involving some hicks putting the sharks in the lake to feed people too whilst filming so they can sell online, where did they get all the sharks!?. The effects are poor and clearly cgi, its too dark and frantic in places and for a shark attack flick there isn't much blood or gore so don't get your hopes up, end of the day this is just a poor waste of time film venture.
Edward B

Super Reviewer

September 11, 2011
This is not a review. A film called Shark Night 3D cannot be reviewed. Critics are going to hate it. Film fans are going to call it a plague of the medium. The plot makes no sense. The acting is terrible. The effects are terrible. There isn't even a budget that allows for cool gore effects, as all that money probably went to making the movie 3D.
So, I am going to tell you a short and not all that interesting story. It was my birthday. My friends and I gathered to celebrate with food and a lot of alcohol. Long story short, I got into an argument with a friend who was being stupid, and the night was almost ruined for me. Nevertheless, that friend left, and the remaining group stumbled out of the tavern, wanting to do something silly. We walked by the theatre and saw the poster for Shark Night. Unanimously agreeing, we bought tickets and throughout the whole movie, we were laughing, making comments, counting the amount of walkouts, and you know what, the film provided us with an hour and a half of solid entertainment. It took my mind off the argument. I laughed at the entire movie, the dialogue, and my more squeemish friends who jump at anything unexpected. In other words, I had a blast. Thank you, Shark Night 3D!
Cory T

Super Reviewer

September 3, 2011
Piranha 3D was such a prurient, politically incorrect blast that knew that exploitation movies are required to spill copious blood, exhibit nudity and possess a tongue-in-cheek about itself. The colossally dunderheaded Shark Night, on the other hand, is sparse in blood (only showing the actors submerging underwater to die or showing them jerking around on a hydraulic jib), shies away from nudity (bikini tops at all times) and is deathly serious about the idiotic premise that sharks migrated into a saltwater lake after a hurricane flooded the gulf. Friday the 13th is more of a plagiarized influence since the black guy and Hispanic girl are the first victims and the serrated-teeth locals are racist rednecks.
Everett J

Super Reviewer

September 3, 2011
Basically this is "Pirhana" only with sharks. Over the top, sometimes campy(like that Bob?!) and exactly what you would expect out of a movie called "Shark Night". Teenagers one by one eaten by sharks with some "Deliverance" mixed in. It's ok for what it is, but nothing that will likely stick long term. In other words, this ain't no "Jaws" but it is a fun hour an a half of gore and mayhem.
KJ P

Super Reviewer

August 30, 2011
Let me first start by saying that this film is utter garbage if you want a compelling story, but the 3D is very impressive and the shark attacks are top notch. The acting is pretty bad (with the exception of a few) and they tried much too hard to make this film PG-13 and it definitely shows in the shots that just needed to have an R-Rating. This film did have a little potential, but it just went overboard by the half-way mark (no pun intended). All this film really is, is a giant mess of people going to a lake and having a few subtle moments before getting eaten alive, and the twists and turns are completely unnecessary for the most part. This film is far too average to even call good. It is slightly entertaining, but it's a bit hard to take seriously. Don't waste your time here, go watch Piranha 3D!
Tyler C

Super Reviewer

September 2, 2011
Other than 3 or 4 3D gimmicks,one of the stupidest,boring,and unenjoyable films of the year. Further proof that you can't make a PG-13 Shark Attack film.
Kevin C

Super Reviewer

September 2, 2011
Wow.
Shawn M

Super Reviewer

May 9, 2012
With my love for shark movies, I was stabbed in the heart.. An attempt to measure up to Piranha 3D with a story line that is decent but the acting was poor, worth a watch if you're really bored.
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