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Simon Sez (1999)

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Average Rating: 2.1/10
Critic Reviews: 6
Fresh: 0 | Rotten: 6

No consensus yet.

audience

20

liked it
Average Rating: 2.2/5
User Ratings: 2,537

My Rating

Movie Info

Former basketball star Dennis Rodman stars in this action-and-espionage thriller as Simon, an Interpol agent called into action when the daughter of a close friend is abducted. In order to track down the kidnappers, Simon seeks the assistance of a pair of monks (John Pinette and Ricky Harris) who are experts in computer sleuthing. Simon Sez was Rodman's first solo starring vehicle, following his dramatic debut alongside Jean-Claude Van Damme in Double Team. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi

Aug 28, 2001

Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

Cast

All Critics (19) | Top Critics (6) | Fresh (0) | Rotten (19) | DVD (5)

This cockamamy action flick is excruciatingly formulaic -- brimming with spy movie cliches but devoid of the genre's fun, upper-class pretensions.

August 3, 2009 Full Review Source: Entertainment Weekly | Comment
Entertainment Weekly
Top Critic IconTop Critic

A frenetically junky action adventure that will quickly dribble off to vid stores after a token fast break in theatrical release.

June 17, 2008 Full Review Source: Variety | Comment
Variety
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Neither the Rivera scenery nor the martial arts of Xiong Xin Xin, much less the automotive stunts attributable to Remy Julienne, can lift Simon Sez beyond the very ordinary.

May 20, 2003 Full Review Source: New York Times | Comment
New York Times
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Movies and Rodman would seem to be made for each other, but the pictures will have to start getting better than this one.

February 14, 2001 Full Review Source: Los Angeles Times | Comment
Los Angeles Times
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Dennis Rodman may be a great rebounder, but as a pop-culture icon, he's a one-trick pony.

August 3, 2009 Full Review Source: AV Club | Comment
AV Club

This on-the-cheap action thriller appears to exist purely as a showcase for the limited talents of self-created caricature Dennis Rodman, who in turn clearly needs to exploit himself while the exploiting is good.

August 3, 2009 Full Review Source: TV Guide's Movie Guide | Comment
TV Guide's Movie Guide

It's as painful to watch as Rodman's star-posturing interviews.

December 6, 2005 Full Review Source: Film Threat | Comment
Film Threat

If you must watch it -- and I shudder to imagine the circumstances under which one must -- watch it in a light mood, perhaps under the influence of something.

November 29, 2003 Full Review Source: EricDSnider.com | Comment
EricDSnider.com

The film's feeble attempts at humor are tedious; like the character of Nick, the film quickly goes from being funny to silly to annoying.

June 5, 2002 Full Review Source: Boxoffice Magazine | Comment
Boxoffice Magazine

With such sheer ineptitude onscreen it's amazing that this hack job didn't go straight to video.

January 1, 2000 Full Review Source: TheMovieReport.com | Comment
TheMovieReport.com

If you're a big Dennis Rodman fan, watch him playing basketball. If you're not, then you have zero reason to take in this movie.

January 1, 2000 Full Review Source: Apollo Guide | Comment
Apollo Guide

One of the most awful movies (if you could even call it a movie) this year.

January 1, 2000 Full Review Source: eFilmCritic.com | Comment
eFilmCritic.com

Me, I'll stick to appreciating Worm Rodman in his true and natural element: the 96-foot hardwood floor.

January 1, 2000 Full Review Source: Austin Chronicle | Comment
Austin Chronicle

Mal actuada, mal editada, mal musicalizada y peor dirigida

January 1, 2000 Full Review Source: Moviola | Comment
More Critic Reviews

Audience Reviews for Simon Sez

Total indefensible trash. Great stuff.

June 24, 2007
Beefy
Steve K

Super Reviewer

Sweet Jesus God Almighty, what have we here! Who in their right mind would even come close to imagining such an awful movie? What did the people involved with this film think they were doing? Were they even thinking at all? Were their careers in such bad shape that they needed for this movie to be made? And even then,

October 15, 2011
stevetheman1236
Stephen Earnest

Super Reviewer

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