My review of the new Bond film "Skyfall" - By TJ
I love James Bond movies. I love the cliff-hanging action. I love the Go GO Gadget villains. I love the spy gear that rivals an Adam and Eve Adult catalog. I get mildly damp just thinking about driving all those exotic cars. I especially love the women in them. Octo - something? what was the rest of her name again? She was hot and demure as hell though...THAT I remember.
OHHHHH man was I excited as hell to see the new Bond film as I lowered my usually high standards on dating
and took my brother William. He at least showered and shaved for me...so that was a big plus. Nothing like stink flies to ruin the audio of a great movie...ammarite?
The movie started of with... zzzzzzzzzzzzZZZzzzZZzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZzZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZ
ZZZZzzzzzZZZzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzzzZzzzZzzzz Gunshot and BIG explosion - Holy crap...So what has happened so far? Seems like James has a dangerous perdicammmmmmZzzzzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzZZzzzZzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZzzZzzzzz Another Big BOOM!!! followed by foreign yelling and evil laughter. What the hell did I miss?...man I love IMAX movies, the sound is so KILLER. Ok there's Jimmy B again, with a gun looking like he's after someone.....Z.z...z.z.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzz*SLURPDROOLLIPSUCKFACEWIPE...WhaddImiss? How did she ________? Sh*t James... parading around without a shirt- AGAIN? CRAP I need to start working out again...James looks pretty hot-n-sexy for a guy...Why am I inner-monologging and waxing romantic on a naked James Bond? zzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZ....BIGGER BOOM, Did he sleep with her too? Finally, Martini time...nice TUX old boy. ZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzZZZZzzzZZZZzzzzZZZZzzzZzz....Machine gun sounds and a helicopter somewhere in the distance....ZZ....ZZZZZ....zzzzzzzz.z.z.z.z.z.z.zzzzzzz Biggest BOOM of the entire movie shakes my seat *opens one eye to see where the movie is...looks at watch...ZzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZzz Sad music
Roll END Credits.
SO my overall critique of "Skyfall":
Best Bond film I've never seen.
I do need to get back into the gym..