ROTTEN TOMATOES: Critical Consensus: "Smokin'" Not Hot, "Release" Hardly A Catch, "Epic" and "Chocolate" Not Screened

Critical Consensus: "Smokin'" Not Hot, "Release" Hardly A Catch, "Epic" and "Chocolate" Not Screened

by RT Staff | January 25, 2007

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The first month of 2007 wraps up with four eclectic releases, featuring hitmen ("Smokin' Aces", starring Ryan Reynolds, Jeremy Piven, and a million other hip thespians), sad people ("Catch and Release", starring Jennifer Garner and a hatless Kevin Smith), werewolves ("Blood and Chocolate" with Agnes Bruckner), and the almighty Crispin Glover ("Epic Movie"). What do the critics have to say?

In "Smokin' Aces," Jeremy Piven plays a soon-to-be government snitch, leading a cavalcade of seedy characters who've been sent in to kill, or save him. Or maybe just settle with killing each other. This overstuffed movie features a huge list of cool people doing cool action scenes, but fails to give anybody any semblence of identity. It's one vapid, bloody sequence after another, though critics are distressed over how long the movie takes to set up the convulted plot and action. At 28 percent Tomatometer, "Aces" may be smokin', but it's not on fire.

"All we need now is the girl and a pizza place."

Kevin Smith is certainly full of surprises. First the rumor he'll do a scary flick, and now his apperance in "Catch and Release", a gooey romantic dramadey starring Jennifer Garner as a woman coping with a close death. Kevin Smith is the goofy yet lovable lug, the comic relief in a movie where everyone plays some kind of stock character. It's a shallow, contrived treatment of a serious subject and with 24 percent on the Tomatometer, "Catch and Release" isn't reeling in the critcs.

Worst. Survivor. Ever.

We're going to have you work overtime for this week's Guess That Tomatometer game. "Epic Movie," which somehow confuses Paris Hilton and "Borat" as part of the genre, is the latest of those spoof movies and the latest movie to not be critic screened.

"I neither deny nor confirm that the snozberries taste like snozberries."

Whenever I hear "Blood and Chocolate", it makes me think Elvis Costello, not babes and werewolves. Maybe the title's signifcance is explained somewhere in the movie, but it's hard to tell right now since "Blood and Chocolate" also isn't being screened for critics. Guess those Tomatometers.

This movie bites.

Speaking of guessing Tomatometers, congratulations to mizzoucritic for coming closest last week to guessing the Tomatometer of "The Hitcher."

Also opening this week in limited release: "Seraphim Falls", a violent Western starring Liam Neeson and Pierce Brosnan, at 54 percent.

Related Items

Movie:	Epic Movie
	Seraphim Falls
	Blood and Chocolate
	The Hitcher
	Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
	Catch and Release
Celeb:	Paris Hilton
	Jennifer Garner
	Ryan Reynolds
	Kevin Smith
	Jeremy Piven
	Liam Neeson
	Crispin Glover
	Elvis Costello
	Pierce Brosnan

(1-20 of 24 posts) | Reply

dreday writes:
on Jan 25 2007 07:22 PM

Epic Movie- 5%
Blood and Chocolate- 8%

(Reply to this)

m_ioannidis writes:
on Jan 25 2007 08:11 PM

Epic Movie - 9%
Blood and Chocolate - 12%

(Reply to this)

mizzoucritic writes:
on Jan 25 2007 08:42 PM

Rock and roll! I finally got it again.

Epic Movie - 0% - I don't think I've ever seen a worse trailer. It looks so incredilby unfunny.

Blood and Chocolate - 17% - It's going to be crap, but not Epic Movie crap.

(Reply to this)

sir_mcchris_the_pirate writes:
on Jan 25 2007 09:51 PM

epic movie 3%
blood and chocolate10%

both movies look like shit

I wouldve said 0% on epic movie but there is always that stupid critic who is like "funniest movie of the year"

(Reply to this)

ImaRobot writes:
on Jan 25 2007 10:38 PM

In reply to this comment (#854005)
*usually shawn edwards.

Epic Movie will get a 7, but it will only be because of crispin glover...I'm thinking of starting a charity fund for crispin so he doesn't have to do these movies anymore and can focus on making more weird down's syndrome movies.

(Reply to this)

mizzoucritic writes:
on Jan 26 2007 12:51 AM

In reply to this comment (#854006)
It is really weird, but I've met Shawn Edwards on several occasions. Nice guy, but I really thought his praises were astoundingly stupid. He does them for the free press junkets, flights and food.

(Reply to this)

CannibalPenguins writes:
on Jan 26 2007 12:56 AM

Epic Movie - 4%
Blood and Chocolate: 26%

I'm positive at least one or two more critics will bark up positive reviews for B&C.
Epic Movie looks like a mess, with its current two reviews being both negative.

(Reply to this)

fizzypulp writes:
on Jan 26 2007 03:33 AM

i really liked smoking aces.......
Piven is wicked

(Reply to this)

dagreenman18 writes:
on Jan 26 2007 07:21 AM

Blood and Chocolate is gonna do better than alot of us think so ill say 40%-50%

as for epic movie 8 %, it's gonna blow.

(Reply to this)

AudioNinja writes:
on Jan 26 2007 07:36 AM

Every bit of good sense tells me Epic Movie will suck, but I can't help but hold out hope. I give Epic Movie 15% and Blood and Chocolate gets 23%

==TJ==

(Reply to this)

hobarticus writes:
on Jan 26 2007 08:11 AM

[b]Best thing I've heard so far about "Epic Movie"...[/b]
It's for those who thought the "Scary Movies" were too funny.

(Reply to this)

kagai writes:
on Jan 26 2007 08:53 AM

[b]Guessing[/b]
Blood and Chocolate: 22%
Epic Movie: 18%

(Reply to this)

nogard64 writes:
on Jan 26 2007 08:59 AM

yeah I really want to see Epic Movie, just fan of the genere, if you watch as many movies as I do you want to see some of those overly pretentious, take themsleves too seriously bastards get made fun of! Becuase in the end no matter how serious how important you think your favorite movie is, it didnt cure cancer, it didnt cure AIDS, it didnt end hunger, it didnt bring world peace! It was just 2 hours of story telling that got you out of the weather!

So lets put things in perspective and get back to reality just a little.

(Reply to this)

synergyred writes:
on Jan 26 2007 09:30 AM

So depressing. Blood and Chocolate is actually based on a decent book, but instead of going along with the PLOT of the book they had to Underworld-ify it. So instead of a decent movie we have well.... it's at 20% now.

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unbreakable_samurai writes:
on Jan 26 2007 10:29 AM

Blood and Cholcolate-19%
Epic Movie-6%, I didn't know Glover was in it though, which means that there will at least be a bright spot for me to lookforward to when I finally see it(on video of course).
Smokin Aces, and Catch and Release both look pretty good to me, I'll probably see them both this weekend. Seraphim Falls looks very good and I'd love to see it but I know it won't be here.

(Reply to this)

mmike1110 writes:
on Jan 26 2007 10:38 AM

epic movie 2%
Blood and Chocolate 21%

(Reply to this)

dudemovies writes:
on Jan 26 2007 11:46 AM

Crispin Glover and Kal Penn are both good why do they do things like this? Are they that desperate for a paycheck. Harold and Kumar is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen, Kal can find better movies than this and the sequel to Van Wilder

(Reply to this)

Pokchu writes:
on Jan 26 2007 12:03 PM

Epic Movie: 19%
Blood And Chocolate: 12%

(Reply to this)

Circe Prankster writes:
on Jan 26 2007 12:37 PM

Blood and Chocolate
I hope you're satisfied what you have done (made a crappy Underworld-clone, that is)
You think it's over now
But we've only just begun (god, this movie feels like it's 10 hours long . . .)

I asked for water
But they gave me rosy wine (vampire blood? oh no, wait, this is about werewolves)
A horse that knows arithmetic
And a dog that tells your fortune (I predict: 13% Tomatometer - it's a dog!)

It's in your eyes, it's in your eyes . . .
Uncomplicated (simplistic, trite and dull)

Okay, come on you folks, you all listen to Elvis C., don't you?

P.S. The last movie with an unacknowledged reference to Elvis Costello in the title was a much better one, Napoleon Dynamite. (Same album, come to think of it - I used to write "Napo Dyna" all over my notebooks in high school when I was bored - yipes, I've just given away my age, haven't I?)

(Reply to this)

aknddon3 writes:
on Jan 26 2007 12:50 PM

I would like epic movie if i saw it stoned.

(Reply to this)