It's yet another '80s slasher remake, so you know the drill...er, the tire iron pimped out with blades.
| Original Score: 2/5
Call me the sarcastic sister, but the only thing screaming in any convincing way here are the cheap look, epileptic direction, and off-key, "edgy" humor.
Sorority Row is an interminable mess of a film that juggles more characters and undeveloped subplots than it can handle and even manages to bungle the setup.
| Original Score: 1/5
The tedious flick offers little more than a few scares, and plenty of boobs. And we're not just talking about the cast.
| Original Score: D
The "scary'' moments are of the sneak-up-on-you-from-behind variety, but there's little suspense.
| Original Score: 1/4
It lapses into that familiar category of movies that go in for lots of fancy obfuscation along the way only to make its story seem all the more simple, trite and contrived by the finish.
There's little to distinguish this from the rest of the entries coming down the horror film assembly line.
The blatant attempts at humor mostly fall flat, but a third-act catfight manages briefly to detour the film into fairly enjoyable camp.
It's all cheese, but at least this cheese, for the most part, doesn't stink.
A booty-shakin', text-messagin', Facebook-referencin' multiplex moneyspinner for undemanding twenty-first-century teens.
An average slasher pic that meanders indecisively between gore and gags.