Whenever critics complain that an action-adventure movie (like "Armageddon") is so noisy that it's headache-inducing, I often have a question mark on my mind. What do you expect? It's an action movie - things get blown-up. Well, I finally understand what they must have felt like after seeing "South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut." The title should have been "South Park: the Headache-Inducing Musical." If you hated the musical numbers in Disney's films, you'll want to kill Trey Parker and Matt Stone for making "South Park: the Headache-Inducing Musical." First of all, I'm a fan of the cable series. I was looking forward to the movie with great anticipation. I was even trying to convert Ben and Bobby. My efforts were wasted after the movie. Ben and Bobby are now giving me the question mark look whenever I mention "South Park."

I've read that Trey Parker and Matt Stone wanted to ridicule the musical numbers in Disney's animations and musicals in general, but why must they bombard us with musical numbers after musical numbers. There must have been one every other minute - or more. What's annoying is not just the nonsensical lyrics, it's also that they're sung in lightning speed with super high-pitched voices and thunderously loud background music. It's the equivalent of having a bunch of non-musicians screaming gibberish and clumsily playing musical instruments at both ends of your ears with the intent to irritate and repulse. The only character that I DID wanted to sing, disappointedly, didn't - Chef. I wanted Chef to sing his usual womanizing songs - I thought that's one of the funniest bits in the cable show.

If you thought the jokes in "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me" are offensive and grotesque, "South Park: the Headache-Inducing Musical" will be ten times more repulsive. You have very offensive jokes on gay people, fat people, celebrities, smart people, foreigners, Satan, and even Sadam Hussein. This, I don't mind because this is "South Park." Anything less, would be a disappointment. My favorite offensive joke in the movie is the one involving Bill Gates. I don't hate Bill Gates, but I … eah … clapped when Bill Gates got dished for Windows 98. I got a chuckle whenever there's a profanity joke - most of them are in the beginning though. I love it when Cartman had a mano-a-mano with Sadam Hussein, anime style. That was awesome. Again, the only problem with these hilarious bits is that I always have an impending fear they'll be followed with a musical. And they do - after every chuckle. Those bastards!

A pleasant surprise was that the production value is actually several notches above the show. It sure didn't seem that way from the trailers. I liked the depiction of Heaven and Hell, probably Heaven more than Hell, and not for the obvious reasons. You'll see what I mean when you see the movie.

Oh, wait - don't see the movie, unless you want a headache or you're a hardcore fan. Man, it's really too bad, because whenever the characters are not singing, it's actually quite funny - especially the beginning. Maybe it'll be tolerable when it comes out on video and you can fast-forward through the songs.