Spaceballs Quotes

The top Spaceballs quotes selected by the Rotten Tomatoes community. Login to submit a quote!

    1. Col. Sandurz: Lord Helmet!
    2. Lord Dark Helmet: What?
    3. Col. Sandurz: We need you sir!
    4. Lord Dark Helmet: Knock on my door next time!
    5. Col. Sandurz: Yes sir!
    6. Lord Dark Helmet: Did you see anything?
    7. Col. Sandurz: No sir, I didn't see you playing with your dolls again!
    8. Lord Dark Helmet: Good!
    – Submitted by Hunter H (16 months ago)
    1. Lord Dark Helmet: Keep firing, assholes!
    – Submitted by Jarryd R (19 months ago)
    1. Lord Dark Helmet: [just as Spaceball One goes into Ludicrous Speed mode] WHAT HAVE I DONE? MY BRAINS... ARE GOING INTO MY FEET!
    – Submitted by David E (20 months ago)
    1. Col. Sandurz: Are you playing with your dolls again?
    – Submitted by Yotam D (21 months ago)
    1. Lone Starr Space Bum: But Yogurt, what if I never see you again?
    2. Yogurt: Don't worry about it! We'll meet again in Spaceballs 2: The Quest for More Money.
    – Submitted by Andrew D (22 months ago)
    1. Lord Dark Helmet: I can't breathe in this thing!
    – Submitted by Jared B (23 months ago)
    1. President Skroob: Why didn't somebody tell me my ass was so big?
    – Submitted by Jared B (23 months ago)
    1. Barf the Mawg Co-Pilot: What the HELL was that?!
    2. Lone Starr Space Bum: Spaceball One...
    3. Barf the Mawg Co-Pilot: They've gone to plaid!
    – Submitted by Cameron D (24 months ago)
    1. Radar Technician: I lost the bleeps, I lost the sweeps and I lost the creeps
    2. Lord Dark Helmet: The What?
    3. Col. Sandurz: The What?
    4. Lord Dark Helmet: And the What?
    5. Radar Technician: You know, the bleeps Bop Bop Boooop Bop Booop Bop, The Sweeps [shakes his mouth] and the creeps Do do do dooo do dooo
    6. Lord Dark Helmet: Thats not all hes lost!
    – Submitted by Timothy K (24 months ago)
    1. Lord Dark Helmet: GET BACK HERE YOU FAT BEARDED BITCH!
    – Submitted by Cameron D (2 years ago)
    1. Lord Dark Helmet: Commence Operation... VAC-U-SUCK!
    – Submitted by Cameron D (2 years ago)
    1. Lord Dark Helmet: Fuck! Even in the future nothing works.
    – Submitted by Randon L (2 years ago)
    1. Lord Dark Helmet: Yogurt! I hate Yogurt! Even with Strawberries.
    – Submitted by Cameron D (2 years ago)
    1. Lord Dark Helmet: Shit! I hate it when my Shwartz gets twisted!
    – Submitted by Cameron D (2 years ago)
    1. Lord Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
    2. Maj. Asshole: I did, sir! He's my cousin.
    3. Lord Dark Helmet: Who is he?
    4. Col. Sandurz: He's an Asshole, sir.
    5. Lord Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
    6. Col. Sandurz: That is his name, sir. Asshole. Major Asshole.
    7. Lord Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
    8. Col. Sandurz: He's an Asshole, too, sir. Gunner's made first class Phillip Asshole.
    9. Lord Dark Helmet: How many Asshole's we got on this ship, anyhow? [All Asshole's stand up and shout 'YO!']
    10. Lord Dark Helmet: I knew it, I'm surrounded by Asshole's. [Dark Helmet pulls down mask.] Keep firing, Asshole's!
    – Submitted by Cameron D (2 years ago)
    1. Lord Dark Helmet: What the hell am I looking at? When does THIS happen in the move?
    2. Col. Sandurz: NOW. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now is happening now.
    3. Lord Dark Helmet: Go back to then!
    4. Col. Sandurz: What?
    5. Lord Dark Helmet: THEN!
    6. Col. Sandurz: I can't!
    7. Lord Dark Helmet: Why not?
    8. Col. Sandurz: We passed it!
    9. Lord Dark Helmet: When?
    10. Col. Sandurz: Just now!
    11. Lord Dark Helmet: When will then be now?
    12. Col. Sandurz: SOON!
    – Submitted by Cameron D (2 years ago)
    1. Dot Matrix: THAT was my Virgin Alarm. It's programmed to go off before you do!
    – Submitted by Cameron D (2 years ago)
    1. Lord Dark Helmet: Out of order? F**K! Even in the future nothing works!
    – Submitted by Cameron D (2 years ago)
    1. Lord Dark Helmet: Yes. I always have my coffee when I watch radar, you know that!
    – Submitted by Lindsey S (2 years ago)
    1. Lord Dark Helmet: [breathes heavily, Darth Vader-style] I can't breathe in this thing!
    – Submitted by Eli A (2 years ago)
    1. Yogurt: Spaceballs-the Flame Thrower. [turns it on] Dink, Dink, Dink, Dink, Dink, Dink: Ooooh! [reacts to dinks] The kids love this one.
    – Submitted by Thaddeus B (3 years ago)
    1. Yogurt: May the schwartz be with you!
    – Submitted by Ryan M (3 years ago)
    1. Lord Dark Helmet: Lone Starr, I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
    2. Lone Starr Space Bum: What does that make us?
    3. Lord Dark Helmet: Absolutely Nothing!
    – Submitted by Tyler C (3 years ago)
    1. Lord Dark Helmet: What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? CHICKEN?
    – Submitted by Tyler C (3 years ago)
    1. Lord Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes.
    – Submitted by Neptune F (3 years ago)

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