A disappointment. Spidey keeps his mask off and weeps. Everyone cries. I hated the silly monolith sad sack Sandman. Did Dunst's contract stipulate she sing two songs?
Spider-Man 3
By
Victoria Alexander
FilmsInReview.com
A disappointment. Spidey keeps his mask off and weeps. Everyone cries. I hated the silly monolith sad sack Sandman. Did Dunst's contract stipulate she sing two songs?
My weekly column, "The Devil's Hammer," appears every Monday on www.FromTheBalcony.com. The Devil's Hammer on FTB
I'm going to throw myself on my sword.
I dread, expect and am prepared for the backlash from fans but Spider-Man 3 is a CGI too-heavy, you've seen it all before, dud. I know it is rumored to cost close to $500 million (including marketing and prints) and that might influence some, but not me. There's no story here. The lack of acting shows.
It takes a special skill as a director to get actors who cannot act to show emotion. Having them cry is cop-out. However, director Sam Riami does have the abilities of a general to direct a high action/CGI production.
Spidey (Tobey Maguire) takes the mask off a lot. The mask is in the way of the star. It seems everyone living in Spideyland knows who is behind the mask except dear Aunt May (Rosemary Harris). Our Spidey cries often. Was weeping in everyone's contract? Even the dog cried.
I did like the demonized black Spider-Man (because he did not cry and enjoyed himself). Spider-Man gets possessed and does bad things.
Perhaps he should have gone to the neighborhood exorcist.
Spidey is up against everyone: Eddie Brock (Topher Grace) who is not only Spidey's rival Venom, but Peter Parker's competitor at the Daily Bugle. Then, there's Flint Marko (Thomas Haden Church) who turns into Sandman for no good reason. He's unhappy and just wants to steal money to help his sick daughter!
Harry Osborn (James Franco) is still struggling with his feelings for Peter (who keeps slipping in the homoerotic touches?) and will not let go of his obsessive Biblical love for his distant, dead father. He's got an altar to him. Osborn becomes the invulnerable flying New Goblin deluding himself that it is Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst) he loves while fixated on destroying Spider-Man. Nobody moves on.
Everybody has a good reason.
Peter, when not being idolized by everyone in New York, is still in puppy-love happiness with MJ. But MJ is jealous %u2013 what about her career as a singer on Broadway? Having a relationship with a superhero has a downside. Nobody cares what you do! Especially since MJ, now insecure about her poorly, but rightly, reviewed Broadway opening, has gorgeous flirtatious Gwen (Bryce Dallas Howard) circling Peter and Spidey!
When a strange blob from space hits Earth, it happens upon only one person. Peter begins to transform and his little dark moments turn into full-blown psycho behavior. Ah, I get it! Black Spider-Man represents all our hidden, suppressed violent tendencies society has chained. It takes an extraterrestrial goo (once known as Satan) to unleash the bad boy within! And once Peter gets a dose of Black Spider-Man testosterone he becomes super-confident. Unfortunately, only he can feel the darkness pulsing through him. His disco dance and Tony Manero stroll through Manhattan only makes the ladies cringe.
Maguire has said he wanted more Black Spider-Man but he just can't deliver the evil. In fact, he's rather ridiculous.
Dunst has said that there couldn't be more Spider-Man movies without her, Tobey, or director Sam Raimi. She believes the fans are too loyal to let anyone else play the role she created. Someone has to have a talk with Dunst's agent. Unless MJ turns into a she-devil arch-villainess, what can be done with her character in S-M 4, 5 and 6?
Well, the hoopla and praise doesn't seem to have impressed Maguire who wants to leave the role behind or Raimi, who is interested in the future franchise called "The Hobbit."
If there was new CGI developed specifically for Spider-Man 3, why is there a rehash of Spidey and New Gollum - I mean Goblin - flying down through 900 miles of Manhattan skyscrapers? The technology for Sandman might be impressive and the character may very well be beloved, but Sandman has no personality. How does Marko feel to be a walking sand pit? Where does he go to sleep? Raimi's team wasted money on a gigantic pit of sand.
Spider-Man 3 is critic-proof, so relax and enjoy it %u2013 if you can!
Victoria Alexander lives in Las Vegas, Nevada and answers every email. You can contact Victoria directly at masauu@aol.com or by visiting www.FilmsInReview.com
SPIDER-MAN 3
Columbia Pictures
Columbia Pictures presents a Marvel Studios/Laura Ziskin production
Credits:
Director: Sam Raimi
Screenwriters: Sam Raimi & Ivan Raimi and Alvin Sargent
Screen story: Sam Raimi & Ivan Raimi
Based on the Marvel Comic book by: Stan Lee and Steve Ditko
Producers: Laura Ziskin, Avi Arad, Grant Curtis
Executive producers: Stan Lee
Kevin Feige, Joseph M. Caracciolo
Director of photography: Bill Pope
Production designers: Neil Spisak, J. Michael Riva
Editor: Bob Murawski
Visual effects supervisor: Scott Stokdyk
Costume designer: James Acheson
Music: Danny Elfman, Christopher Young
Cast:
Peter Parker/Spider-Man: Tobey Maguire
Mary Jane Watson: Kirsten Dunst
Harry Osborn: James Franco
Flint Marko/Sandman: Thomas Haden Church
Eddie Brock/Venom: Topher Grace
Gwen Stacy: Bryce Dallas Howard
Capt. Stacy: James Cromwell
Aunt May: Rosemary Harris
J. Jonah Jameson: J.K. Simmons
Running time -- 139 minutes
MPAA rating: PG-13
By
Victoria Alexander
FilmsInReview.com
A disappointment. Spidey keeps his mask off and weeps. Everyone cries. I hated the silly monolith sad sack Sandman. Did Dunst's contract stipulate she sing two songs?
My weekly column, "The Devil's Hammer," appears every Monday on www.FromTheBalcony.com. The Devil's Hammer on FTB
I'm going to throw myself on my sword.
I dread, expect and am prepared for the backlash from fans but Spider-Man 3 is a CGI too-heavy, you've seen it all before, dud. I know it is rumored to cost close to $500 million (including marketing and prints) and that might influence some, but not me. There's no story here. The lack of acting shows.
It takes a special skill as a director to get actors who cannot act to show emotion. Having them cry is cop-out. However, director Sam Riami does have the abilities of a general to direct a high action/CGI production.
Spidey (Tobey Maguire) takes the mask off a lot. The mask is in the way of the star. It seems everyone living in Spideyland knows who is behind the mask except dear Aunt May (Rosemary Harris). Our Spidey cries often. Was weeping in everyone's contract? Even the dog cried.
I did like the demonized black Spider-Man (because he did not cry and enjoyed himself). Spider-Man gets possessed and does bad things.
Perhaps he should have gone to the neighborhood exorcist.
Spidey is up against everyone: Eddie Brock (Topher Grace) who is not only Spidey's rival Venom, but Peter Parker's competitor at the Daily Bugle. Then, there's Flint Marko (Thomas Haden Church) who turns into Sandman for no good reason. He's unhappy and just wants to steal money to help his sick daughter!
Harry Osborn (James Franco) is still struggling with his feelings for Peter (who keeps slipping in the homoerotic touches?) and will not let go of his obsessive Biblical love for his distant, dead father. He's got an altar to him. Osborn becomes the invulnerable flying New Goblin deluding himself that it is Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst) he loves while fixated on destroying Spider-Man. Nobody moves on.
Everybody has a good reason.
Peter, when not being idolized by everyone in New York, is still in puppy-love happiness with MJ. But MJ is jealous %u2013 what about her career as a singer on Broadway? Having a relationship with a superhero has a downside. Nobody cares what you do! Especially since MJ, now insecure about her poorly, but rightly, reviewed Broadway opening, has gorgeous flirtatious Gwen (Bryce Dallas Howard) circling Peter and Spidey!
When a strange blob from space hits Earth, it happens upon only one person. Peter begins to transform and his little dark moments turn into full-blown psycho behavior. Ah, I get it! Black Spider-Man represents all our hidden, suppressed violent tendencies society has chained. It takes an extraterrestrial goo (once known as Satan) to unleash the bad boy within! And once Peter gets a dose of Black Spider-Man testosterone he becomes super-confident. Unfortunately, only he can feel the darkness pulsing through him. His disco dance and Tony Manero stroll through Manhattan only makes the ladies cringe.
Maguire has said he wanted more Black Spider-Man but he just can't deliver the evil. In fact, he's rather ridiculous.
Dunst has said that there couldn't be more Spider-Man movies without her, Tobey, or director Sam Raimi. She believes the fans are too loyal to let anyone else play the role she created. Someone has to have a talk with Dunst's agent. Unless MJ turns into a she-devil arch-villainess, what can be done with her character in S-M 4, 5 and 6?
Well, the hoopla and praise doesn't seem to have impressed Maguire who wants to leave the role behind or Raimi, who is interested in the future franchise called "The Hobbit."
If there was new CGI developed specifically for Spider-Man 3, why is there a rehash of Spidey and New Gollum - I mean Goblin - flying down through 900 miles of Manhattan skyscrapers? The technology for Sandman might be impressive and the character may very well be beloved, but Sandman has no personality. How does Marko feel to be a walking sand pit? Where does he go to sleep? Raimi's team wasted money on a gigantic pit of sand.
Spider-Man 3 is critic-proof, so relax and enjoy it %u2013 if you can!
Victoria Alexander lives in Las Vegas, Nevada and answers every email. You can contact Victoria directly at masauu@aol.com or by visiting www.FilmsInReview.com
SPIDER-MAN 3
Columbia Pictures
Columbia Pictures presents a Marvel Studios/Laura Ziskin production
Credits:
Director: Sam Raimi
Screenwriters: Sam Raimi & Ivan Raimi and Alvin Sargent
Screen story: Sam Raimi & Ivan Raimi
Based on the Marvel Comic book by: Stan Lee and Steve Ditko
Producers: Laura Ziskin, Avi Arad, Grant Curtis
Executive producers: Stan Lee
Kevin Feige, Joseph M. Caracciolo
Director of photography: Bill Pope
Production designers: Neil Spisak, J. Michael Riva
Editor: Bob Murawski
Visual effects supervisor: Scott Stokdyk
Costume designer: James Acheson
Music: Danny Elfman, Christopher Young
Cast:
Peter Parker/Spider-Man: Tobey Maguire
Mary Jane Watson: Kirsten Dunst
Harry Osborn: James Franco
Flint Marko/Sandman: Thomas Haden Church
Eddie Brock/Venom: Topher Grace
Gwen Stacy: Bryce Dallas Howard
Capt. Stacy: James Cromwell
Aunt May: Rosemary Harris
J. Jonah Jameson: J.K. Simmons
Running time -- 139 minutes
MPAA rating: PG-13
(1-20 of 123 posts) | Reply
on Apr 26 2007 11:55 AM (Reply to this) |
on Apr 26 2007 12:09 PM It's difficult to take a review seriously when it reads like it was written by a 12-year-old. And yes, I realise my avatar hurts my credibility here. (Reply to this) |
|
on Apr 26 2007 01:44 PM The author seems to hate the idea of the movie. Rather than reviewing the movie, she sets out to destroy in her "little" blog. (Reply to this) |
|
on Apr 26 2007 01:53 PM She liked Alexander Revisited, Hannibal Rising and Norbit, so. (Reply to this) |
|
on Apr 26 2007 02:23 PM She also like perfect stanger and ghost rider, her not likeing this movie is a good thing. (Reply to this) |
on Apr 26 2007 02:34 PM Horrible review. It's seriously badly written. (Reply to this) |
|
on Apr 26 2007 02:50 PM Everyone has their own opinion. Wait and see the movie first and then *****. (Reply to this) |
|
on Apr 26 2007 03:46 PM wow this chick is terrible. Gave her the benefit of a doubt for awhile. But she has bad taste and chooses to insult movies rather than review them. (Reply to this) |
|
on Apr 26 2007 04:03 PM that was the worst review i have ever read besides your a girl you probaly don't like superheros (Reply to this) |
on Apr 26 2007 04:31 PM This is a poor review. Honestly, read for yourself. She doesn't critique the movie at all, she just bashes it. (Reply to this) |
on Apr 26 2007 05:52 PM Pathetic review, under no circumstances does this girl belong on this site..Learn grammar and maybe I'll give you a response. (Reply to this) |
on Apr 26 2007 06:51 PM (Reply to this) |
|
on Apr 26 2007 06:54 PM It's apparent this woman was paid to write with reasonless antipathy. (Reply to this) |
|
on Apr 26 2007 07:08 PM You should be cleaning bathrooms, cooking and getting pregnant, stop writing or thinking you're a critic. Idiot. (Reply to this) |
|
on Apr 26 2007 08:13 PM Worst reviewer on RT gives the single worst review I've read in ages. No critique whatsoever; she merely hates on the movie. (Reply to this) |
|
on Apr 26 2007 08:21 PM I'm not a fan of the franchise, but I can see this woman has some serious issues... That is the worst review I have ever read... (Reply to this) |
|
on Apr 26 2007 08:59 PM "Victoria Alexander lives in Las Vegas, Nevada" I just might have to fly out to Vegas so I can personally pimp slap this woman. (Reply to this) |
|
on Apr 26 2007 09:06 PM Victoria and Steve Rhodes would make a good couple. haha (Reply to this) |
|
on Apr 26 2007 09:28 PM (Reply to this) |
on Apr 26 2007 11:24 PM What a terrible review. (Reply to this) |
| You must be registered to post comments. Login or Register. |
Related Links
Related Articles
-
Topher Grace Is in the Dark About Venom
(23)
-
World of Warcraft Has a Director: Sam Raimi!
(73)
-
Venom Spinoff Officially in the Works
(38)
- Weekly Ketchup: Raimi and Maguire return for Spider-Man 4 and 5 (97)
-
Sony Still Eyeing Venom Spinoff?
(25)
- Holy Box-Office, Batman! Dark Knight Makes $66M On Record-Breaking Opening Day (147)
- 2008 MTV Movie Award Nominations Announced (39)
- Rush Hour 3 Takes '07 DVD Rental Crown (25)
- Sam Raimi Wants to Drag Me to Hell (26)
- David Benioff on The Kite Runner: The RT Interview (1)
Most Discussed
- Box Office Guru Wrapup: Avatar Soars to #1 Spot (261)
- RT's Best of the Decade! (154)
- Brittany Murphy: 1977-2009 (115)
- Five Favorite Films With Peter Jackson (69)
- Total Recall: Jude Law's Best Movies (56)
- Critics Consensus: Sherlock Holmes Is Worth Investigating (33)
- RT on DVD & Blu-Ray: District 9 and (500) Days of Summer (32)
- Weekly Ketchup: Peter Jackson's Secret Sci-Fi Project (23)
- Friday Harvest: Sherlock Holmes, Toy Story 3, and more! (10)
- What We're Watching on Blu-ray from Disney! (9)
Latest News
- Weekly Ketchup: Peter Jackson's Secret Sci-Fi Project (23)
- Friday Harvest: Sherlock Holmes, Toy Story 3, and more! (10)
- Critics Consensus: Sherlock Holmes Is Worth Investigating (33)
- RT's Best of the Decade! (154)
- Total Recall: Jude Law's Best Movies (56)
- What We're Watching on Blu-ray from Disney! (9)
- RT on DVD & Blu-Ray: District 9 and (500) Days of Summer (32)
- Five Favorite Films With Peter Jackson (69)
- Box Office Guru Wrapup: Avatar Soars to #1 Spot (261)
- Brittany Murphy: 1977-2009 (115)
Latest Interviews
- Five Favorite Films With Peter Jackson (69)
- Robert Downey Jr. talks Sherlock Holmes & Iron Man 2 - RT Interview (21)
- Director Ruben Fleischer Talks Zombieland (2)
- "I Don't Hate Women": Lars von Trier on Antichrist (17)
- Eric Bana talks Love the Beast - RT Interview (12)
- Fight Club Sound Designer Reflects on Film's 10th Anniversary (24)
- James Schamus talks Taking Woodstock - RT Interview (8)
- John Hurt Talks Harry Potter, Quentin Crisp and Alien - The RT Interview (16)
- Terry Gilliam Talks Doctor Parnassus (24)
- Wes Anderson Talks Fantastic Mr. Fox - RT Interview (9)
Latest Features
- RT's Best of the Decade! (154)
- Five Favorite Films With Peter Jackson (69)
- The Effects of Where the Wild Things Are (34)
- The Gimmicks That Changed Cinema: Part 2 (7)
- The Gimmicks That Changed Cinema: Part 1 (37)
- Five Favorite Films With Avatar's Sam Worthington (60)
- Exclusive: The World of Where the Wild Things Are (10)
- Sundance 2010: RT's 10 Most Anticipated Movies (43)
- 10 Horrifically Profitable Films (46)
- Ban Them All! 10 Infamously Controversial Movies (107)
RSS Feeds