• PG-13, 1 hr. 29 min.
  • Mystery & Suspense
  • Directed By:
    Tibor Takács
    In Theaters:
    Feb 8, 2013 Limited
    On DVD:
    Mar 12, 2013
  • Nu Image Films/Millenium Entertainment
  • Spiders
    1 minutes 4 seconds
    Added: Jan 28, 2013

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Spiders Reviews

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June 24, 2014
"For a low-budget spider movie, this wasn't too terrible. Believe me, I've seen much worse."
February 6, 2014
How a film with such bad special effects can make it to the screen in 2013 is beyond me!
January 18, 2014
This is a terrible movie. Don't watch it.
January 12, 2014
Spiders (Tibor Takács, 2013)

What possessed me? What could have possibly entered my head to make me say "hey, this movie was directed by Tibor Takács, who hasn't made a watchable movie since 1987, and here we are twenty-five years later, so the obvious thing I should be doing right now is pressing play!"? I can't answer that question, but I can confidently report to you now that Spiders, Takács' latest piece of celluloid garbage, as just as accomplished as such timeless Takács classics as Mansquito (I actually own that one!), Ice Spiders, Mega Snake, and Meteor Storm.

Plot: the Soviets have been developing something on a space station, which meets disaster thanks to a stray meteoroid. (This scene looks remarkably like the space station being destroyed in the trailer for the upcoming Sandra Bullock film Gravity, to the point where I wondered if both used the same stock footage.) A piece of it crash lands in the New York City subway system, and the NY politicos send Jason (Starship Troopers' Patrick Muldoon, whose career has unfortunately not gotten any better since 1999), a middle-management subway muckety-muck, to investigate. He finds big holes and, more alarmingly, a few dead homeless folks who don't look like they got hit with debris. He digs some eggs out of one and takes them home to his wife Rachel (Drive Angry's Christa Campbell), who conveniently happens to be a scientist. Problem is, The former-Soviet geneticist who was in charge of the project before the Union was dissolved (Blade II's Pete Lee-Wilson) and his army handler (Aliens' William Hope) want those eggs...and they will stop at nothing, including kidnapping Jason and Rachel's daughter Emily (The Ward's Sydney Sweeney) and her hot babysitter (Conan the Barbarian's Shelly Varod) to get them.

If you've seen any two random Tibor Takács movies since The Gate, you know exactly what to expect here. (If you haven't, more power to ya.) Braindead script, shoddy camerawork, overdramatic soundtrack, you name it. Even those rare times when Takács manages to come up with crack cast members (the nadir of Ron Perlman's career was acting in Takács' Rats in 2002), he manages to pull the worst performances you've ever seen out of them, so with a cast like this, you know you're going to get glimpses of cheeseball glory. Problem is, even the glory is missing from this one, it's just dreary. Dumb, predictable, not even worth watching for the terrible special effects. Give it a miss. 1/2
January 11, 2014
Even though my cousin was an extra in this, I still didn't like it.
January 2, 2014
Not even in the so-bad-it's-good category.
July 7, 2013
Rating: Zero stars

"...offers an experience that's just exceptionally beyond worst. This was never a movie. It's boredom itself."
November 20, 2013
hahahahaha.....det är mitt betyg.
November 1, 2013
Spiders was written as a culmination of three typical movie plots: alien invasion, government conspiracy, and monster attack. They took successful plots and threw them together to create a sloppy movie. It could have been pulled off better if they had chosen just two of those instead of all three. It seems like they only pulled in the alien aspect to justify why the spiders were growing so big, but they could have done that with the military injecting them with a growth hormone or genetically engineering them. I think it would have been more successful if they had gone with either alien spiders invading or a military project gone wrong instead of both.

The acting wasn't the best either. Sydney Sweeney played what was probably the least emotional 12 year old I have ever seen. Her voice was monotonous, having no difference between when she was happy, sad, or afraid. The military personnel also don't behave much like military personnel, particularly the one telling the main characters it's time to evacuate the city. The didn't sound like they had any authority in their voices and weren't confident in their delivery. And of course there is the scene with everyone running out of the subway "screaming" while there are a bunch of rats running around. Those were some pretty half-hearted "ahs" and didn't make anyone believe they were afraid.

There were also things that just didn't make sense. Granted that some of these could just be personal preference, these are things that I think could have improved the movie if they had been done differently. I feel like the only reason for the Russian satellite to be involved was to give a reason for the spiders to be in New York. That's totally acceptable. But why were the spiders sent to space in the first place? If it had been purely aliens instead of a government project then we wouldn't need more justification, but with the military being involved we need a little more reason behind it. When Patrick Muldoon sees his daughter in the window and a man comes from behind to pull her away from the window I felt that could have been done without. I understand they were going for a panic factor, but the military personnel just didn't want her to leave. I also think it was unnecessary in whole for Muldoon's character's immediate instinct to be to distrust the military without much of a reason to run. The military also had questionable actions--what was the point of doing whatever it was they did to the other NYT worker on the street before getting in the SUV and why did they disguise themselves to rob Muldoon's wife instead of just approaching her and asking for the eggs as part of the government? It was completely unneccessary and didn't make a whole lot of sense, along with why they killed the people in that building. There were a lot of things that could have made more sense if they had just explained them more, but they didn't take much time doing that. I also didn't like how easily Muldoon was able to cut through the queen's web. It was explained that it was bullet proof, and while I know knives are capable of cutting through things that are bullet proof, I think he it should have taken him a bit longer to do it, especially because his knife most likely wasn't the best quality. And of course, there is the matter of the spiders. I enjoyed the spiders, but there were too many times when Muldoon and his family would get away from them. Spiders are fast, and there was no good reason for them to not catch up to the characters. They took a few steps and then roared or hissed or whatever before moving on, but they only did that with Muldoon's family and not the military. And if the spiders could break down the metal door in the subway when Muldoon and his wife first find the spiders, I'm pretty sure moving boxes and crates to block the spider from getting in the window wouldn't be much help. I understand that they wanted the main characters to live, but they could have had a better variety of escapes other than the roar and hiss and finding someone else to kill. And the queen? I get why they had Muldoon be the one to kill her, because he's the main character and all, but the military was hitting her with all sorts of guns, grenade launchers, and even tanks. Not only did those not effect her, they didn't do anything to her. And when the subway train hit her, it shouldn't have exploded. Crashed and created shrapnel? Sure, but exploded? Those things run on electricity, not gas, and while I could be wrong about this, I'm pretty sure it would just be a big crash instead of a big boom.

All in all, I think the movie had potential, but they tried to do too much with it, had poor justification, and poor acting, causing it to fall short in every area except the monster attack.
October 27, 2013
Even by television movie standards, this one is a horrible and laughable sci-fi/action film that makes little to no sense at all [D]
October 20, 2013
Ĺh gud. Fřrste halvdel af filmen cirka, var sĺdan set okay. Da edderkopperne pludselig var halvvejs aliens, og blev střrre og střrre, der faldte filmen lidt fra hinanden. Specielt fordi at effekterne var rćdselsfulde. Hver gang den střrste edderkop (The Queen) blev ramt af eksplosioner, lignede det noget fra PS1 tiden. Det var rigtig dĺrlig lavet. Oh, og ser man bort fra faderen i filmen, sĺ spillede godt og vel alle andre ELENDIGT skuespil SPECIELT datteren og moderen. Hold da kćft ... Den havde et par gode punkter, men generelt var det bare elendigt. ŘV!
October 3, 2013
Some movies are so bad they're good. This movie missed that by a square mile and landed smack dab in "So bad it's painful" territory.
They called spiders INSECTS for god's sake. That's 1st grade animal science BS right there. Everything was just so... Bad. I think I might slip into a depressed coma because of watching it. May God have mercy on your souls.
September 29, 2013
Believe it or not, this is not the worst movie about giant spiders that I've seen, but neither is it the best. Most things about the movie are poor, particularly the acting, but the special effects were decent and they never try to skimp on the actual monsters like most low budget monster movies do. If you like killer spiders, this movie tries its hardest to let you have it.
September 21, 2013
While it has fun monster moments, the film suffers through slow pacing and a grounded plot. The characters are generic. The spider effects are decent and I'm sure they would have looked great in 3D. The film simply doesn't capture the fun that it looked like it would have offered.
August 14, 2013
Mutant spiders that withstand gunfire and have the growth rate of a water balloon on the end of a fire hose. If that doesn't make you shit your pants, I don't know what will. The film itself was fair, with some pretty good effects for its budget, but I was too busy trying not to soil myself to give it my undivided attention. Gah!
August 2, 2013
The thought of running through big spider webs is terrifying enough. But the overall film is hilariously bad.
July 17, 2013
I thought it was pretty good. Special effect's were Ok but the story was good.
June 1, 2013
It's better than your standard syfy original or anything Asylum puts out but I still wouldn't recommend it. The CGI is OK (but wavers) and there are a lot of geunuinely good ideas here (as far as B-movies go) but it constantly struggles against its low budge; constantly rehashing the same sets and never really showing nearly enough of what was expected.
June 27, 2013
As long as you do not expect too much and enjoy the ride it is a good movie. MUCH like the movies of 70's where some big giant incest attracted. A fun movie for a day off. I screamed when the spider jumped on the man. IT WAS GREAT.
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