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Rotten (18)
Strident, clumsy and pointless.
It's another panto for 10-year-old girls, in which any given scene could - with only the addition of canned laughter - pass for something from children's television.
The tone is broad, vulgar and exuberant and its hunt for lost treasure ends up inventively at the Globe Theatre. Schoolgirls and those who like ogling schoolgirls will enjoy it.
A film that flails about wildly in search of at least one half-decent joke. Tragically, the closest it gets is having a dog hump Colin Firth's leg.
This sub-Carry On romp wearily coasts along on the lines of a rudimentary old-school farce rather than anything resembling wit.
This contrived sequel is an interminable, headache-inducing time-waster that never picks up any speed, weighed down as it is by far too many characters, and far too many slow-motion shots of the girls striding towards the camera.
This jaw-droppingly hopeless sequel deserves to be packed off for a one-way exchange trip to Columbine.
Oliver Parker and Barnaby Thompson do nothing here to destroy a winning formula which is cannily constructed to appeal to the target audience of teenage girls and nobody else.
Cheap, ramshackle entertainment that's nevertheless imbued with affection.
If there is a cinematic equivalent of a Christmas panto this season, it is surely St Trinian's 2, which is broad and ramshackle, cheap and gaudy.
The piratical-treasure story is totally hokum, but it's all peppy, whiz-bang stuff livened up no end by Talulah Riley's fetching turn as Head Girl.
Diehard fans will lap it up...but it's difficult to see it winning any new converts.
St Trinians 2 achieves the near-impossible, by being even cruder, messier and more amateurish than the first outing.
St Trinian's 2 isn't just appalling, it's like scouring those final, last-gasp instalments of the Carry On or Confessions Of... movies looking for a laugh.
The report card reads: Good when applying itself but must try harder.
A cavalcade of schoolgirls filled out the press screening of this movie, and very welcome to it they were.
The slapdash sequel doesn't tamper with the winning formula, which means lots more joyless slapstick, crude stereotypes and girls behaving very badly.
Judging by the first of the new St Trinian's films, we shouldn't have expected more than rudimentary farce from the second.
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